Coping with Older/Younger Relationships/Where do I stand


I dated this younger man by 15 years (he is 24, I am 39)and we only lasted about 2 months. We were really good friends for about a year before we hooked up. During the time we were just friends I was married (now currently divorced). When I told him I was getting a divorce we became closer. He was there for me when I needed him. He started to really like me and asked if I would be his girlfriend and that's when we started dating. I opened myself up to him and it became physical. I felt he started losing interest in me after that point which really hurt me. I confronted him and asked if he lost interest and said "kind of" and he then ended it with me. He said he had too many problems with his family and needed his help and that it was just too much. Well, a few months went by and hes texted me here and there. Then he started to come around again. He came over last weekend and told me that he didn't lose interest it was just that he wants kids someday (Hes known that I can't have any more kids.) He said that if it were different times (meaning if I was more his age) he would be with me. He said he would've loved me to be the mother of his children. He was holding me tight and then proceeded to tell me that I am very special and I always hold a special place in his heart. He has come over a few times and when he is around me I feel he is really into me. We laugh and we always have a great time together. He spends the night and holds me all night long. He takes me out to eat the next day. Then he leaves. When he leaves I don't hear from him again for a long while except for a text here and there. When he leaves I get depressed and cry for a few days every time. I don't know what to think. My question is...where do I really stand with this guy? Does he really care about me or is he just stringing me along the way? Do I really mean something to him or is he just saying these things to sleep with me?

smooth talk means little, it's the behavior that tells the story; he cares just enough to offer the current deal, which consists of occasional get togethers that include sex, with no strings, no future, no commitment; if you want to sign up for this deal, just keep saying yes, if you need/want more, look elsewhere...

Coping with Older/Younger Relationships

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expertise: over 6000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks


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