Coping with Older/Younger Relationships/How much is too much?


I am a college student at a community college and I am very mature for my age. let me give you a little background: I have been living on my own and supporting myself for the past four years, last year I participated in the program AmeriCorps where I was living in Seattle and I was an academic tutor for middle school students, and I'm naturally responsible and veer to the conservative of things.
I am an attractive young lady and I dress well and conservative so I look older than I am. I am 19 and because of all these things I find it very hard to date.
I met a man at one of the staff luncheons (at the college) and we hit it off immediately. Our conversations are deep and intellectual and we are both very liberal and open minded so we had great conversations. We found each other on facebook and exchanged numbers and talked more and more. The sexual tension between us was amazing. (Nothing ever happened)
Things were going too well. I came to my logical senses and told him that I cared about him and I didn't want to jeapordize his position at the school (he is a dean) and that we should stop communicating. He didn't even know I was a student and I assumed he knew. Mistake #1. Mistake #2 was not asking ages. During this conversation I asked him how old he was and he said 45. I was stunned. I was guessing 30 at the most because he is very attractive and works out regularly. I told him I was 19 and that this wouldn't work.
We agreed to part ways.
I see him at school all the time and he started talking to me again. He wants us to continue talking and be in a relationship whenever I leave the college.
But I don't know. He is old enough to be my father! What should I do? our conversations are so wonderful and stimulating but I don't know if I can get over this age difference...

at the moment, no need to do anything; sizeable age difference doesn't mean the interaction can't be valuable, stimulating, or enjoyable; as for what happens after your leaving, no need to even THINK about it now; appreciate it now for what it is, then deal with whatever decisions need to be made, if any, when the time comes...

Coping with Older/Younger Relationships

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expertise: over 6000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks


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