Coping with Older/Younger Relationships/Girlfriend changing her mind


I have been dating my GF for almost 8 months now, we have both been married twice and faced a lot of heartache. Both her exhusbands had baby's by other women while married to her, she is has very low self esteem and depression issues.
We started dying and I fell head over heals for her, and she fell for me also. But a few times in the time we been dating she would want her space to think and we would part ways for a few days and come back together but would never "breakup". I can be very clingy, and am very forth coming with my feelings. Her on the other hand is not as forthcoming, and has been dealing with fear since we began dating, but has always said she loved me and wanted to be with me.
So, last Saturday I popped the question and she said yes, 2 days later she is consumed with that fear again. She says I best thing that happened to her, she loves me, I'm awesome to her kids and they love me, and I'm better than any man she knows. But, she is scared and consumed with fear. So she asked for space to think and figure things out.
I told her that I would stay by her side while she decides, and I'm not going anywhere. She says she has no peace about us and I told her she want because she is scared. I promised her I would never hurt her.
We have only been apart a day, I texted her once and asked question, she texted me later and asked what I was doing and we just text for a little while.she says she loves me but,doesn't know about us. I asked if there is any hope at all and she says she don't know.

What should I do? Think there is a chance? I just need some advice so I don't make anything worse...

8 months is a little soon to be discussing marriage; just the fact that she has to step back and and review all this, indicates that she is not ready for this, even if she agrees to it. My feeling is your insecurities are responsible for rushing this along; rather than regret this decision at a later date, i suggest telling her that because of her doubts you are now suggest dating for another year or until such time that she's ready to say yes without any hesitation..

Coping with Older/Younger Relationships

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts




expertise: over 6000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks


see above

©2016 All rights reserved.