AboutAzure Expertise expertise: over 6000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available uponrequest...life experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t enough...it`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and enlightenment...so tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks
Question Hi! I liked your profile and hope you can help me. I am 27 years old and have always dated guys older than I am b/c I enjoy maturity, someone knowing what they want and being secure in themselves. Haven't had much luck with that (was cheated on by every one of my past relationships.) After my last break-up I was single for 2 months when I kind of knew this guy and asked him out (something I had NEVER done) and he said yes. I had NO idea when I asked him he was only 22!!! He looks/acts about 25 or so. We have been together 6 months now. Things are going well,I feel we are both in love with each other and this may really work out. He has had very bad (and very few) relationships in the past and says he's never been in love. He is a great guy, responsible, honest, caring, funny, kind, giving etc. I am just very worried about the age difference for 2 reasons. My own insecurity b/c, if he can date a 20 year old girl, why date a 27 year old? And, he thinks he is ready and wants to be in a relationship and build on it, stay together etc. but, he's only 22 years old! I didn't know what the heck I was doing w/ my life at 22 and was not ready to settle down, didn't know who I was, etc. I know everyone is different and we can't live life if we are afraid to take risks but, I just don't want to get hurt again when he decides he wants to play the field for a few more years and I'm left alone, again. This question is probably a bit deeper than I meant for it to be (sorry it's so long!) I just want an objective opinion to tell me if I should believe and go with the idea that this 22 (not 23 until December) year old guy is as serious as he thinks/says he is about me? Or should I walk away before I get hurt by what I fear is going to happen? Any advice/help you can offer will be gratefully accepted. Thanks for reading!
Katy
Answer i don't think the age difference is that big of a deal; guys can opt to "trade" for someone prettier, younger, or to just play the field, at ANY age; certainly there's a bit more chance of that happening at 22 than 42, but before that the difference would be marginal; the more important fact is you've only known him 6 months; take it slow, enjoy the moment, keep learning about each other, and avoid talk about the future for at least another year...
