AboutPam Dyson, MA, PLPC Expertise I specialize in working with children and families. I can address issues and problematic behaviors related to anxiety, depression, grief, abandonment, divorce, blended families, abuse, ADHD, peer difficulties, bullying, aggression and low self-esteem.
Experience I am a provisional licensed professional counselor with extensive training in play therapy.
Organizations American Mental Health Counselors Association, Board Eligible National Certified Counselor, Association for Play Therapy, Chi Sigma Iota,(Counseling Academic & Professional Honor Society International).
Education/Credentials BS in Family and Child Development, MA in Professional Counseling, Provisional Licensed Professional Counselor (PLPC)
Question I have too many to ask? In short, our daughter has ran away 3 times, miscarried a baby, got suspended from school for fighting over rumors about her boyfriend, and gotten beat up by her boyfriend. All these things happened after she met this boy. He was bad news in the beginning and it never stopped. At first we forbid it and she ran away. After we decided that nothing we did or said was going to change her mind, we said ok, date. She came up pregnant and miscarried. We still supported her. He has just beat her up and after a week she has taken him back because she "loves him". I believe she does. How do we help her? We are dying watching her go through this and he gets away with it. She is not allowed to go anywhere with us or have any friends because he says so. We are at our wits end. What do we do or say? It doesn't matter who tries to talk to her, it just goes in one ear and out the other. He is right and everyone else is wrong!
Answer Hi Marilyn,
How old is the boyfriend? Have you considered filing assault charges against him?
As her parents you have a lot more power than you might think. You daughter is a minor and you may be able to set some strict limits and tell she is not seeing him again. Tell her you're going to supervise her and monitor her behavior and make every effort to break up this relationship because you think it's unhealthy and dangerous.
As parents you can also enforce things with consequences...take away the keys, take away her money, or ground her if she insists on continuing the relationship. That doesn't mean she won't defy you or sneak around but taking that first step; setting boundaries and establishing expectations; is important.
I suggest you get a copy of this book: But I Love Him: Protecting Your Teen Daughter from Controlling, Abusive Dating Relationships by Jill Murray, you may find it helpful.
I hope I was able to offer some helpful suggestions.
Pam
