AboutPam Dyson, MA, PLPC Expertise I specialize in working with children and families. I can address issues and problematic behaviors related to anxiety, depression, grief, abandonment, divorce, blended families, abuse, ADHD, peer difficulties, bullying, aggression and low self-esteem.
Experience I am a provisional licensed professional counselor with extensive training in play therapy.
Organizations American Mental Health Counselors Association, Board Eligible National Certified Counselor, Association for Play Therapy, Chi Sigma Iota,(Counseling Academic & Professional Honor Society International).
Education/Credentials BS in Family and Child Development, MA in Professional Counseling, Provisional Licensed Professional Counselor (PLPC)
Question I currently have a son that is seven years old. He lives in Michigan with his mother and I live in Texas. I was only in his life the first year and then was expedited to the military shortly after. I have not seen or spoken to him since 2002. Until recently he did not know I existed until I contacted his mother who is now married. His mother explained that I was his father and her husband is not his biological father. He has always assumed that her husband was his father. How in depth she got with him is unknown at this time. My son still has a relationship with my parents and that is how he was turned on to the question of "why do I have 3 grandparents?". I have explained to his mother of my intention to establishing a relationship with him and she agrees but with some reserve because of the distance. Understandably, the process will be slow and I have thought about writing my son. His mother is not please but will not hold the letters from him. Finally, my questions. How do I write my first letter to open a line of communication with him? How do I explain my biological relationship to him and announce my existence? What type of resources are available to me in order for me to write a letter to a seven year old for him to understand it?
Answer Hi Jason,
Since his mother has already explained to your son that you are his biological father, I suggest starting there with your letter. Tell him again, what his mother already told him, than include some information about yourself, enclose a photograph, etc. Use simple words and avoid a lot of detail. Keep the letters to only a few paragraphs. After a few letters perhaps phone contact would be possible. During the phone conversations you can repeat what you shared in the letters.
