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Counseling/How to approach the subject of divorce and avoid hurting the other person


osasoc wrote at 2013-09-26 17:09:11
I also believe that it is of utmost importance for you Kelly to examine yourself and do some extensive reflection. It seems as if you have always viewed yourself as superior to your husband. you mentioned that fact that you don't think you were ever attracted to him which is another problem. It appears that you had your own ideal of what marriage should look like and whether right or wrong, correct or incorrect, you were not willing to explore other scenarios of what a commitment between a man and woman should be. Marriage is a covenant with God and if viewed through such lenses, two people can experience much more contentment in a marriage. Marriage is not always easy and it is certainly more always a happy road. The person who hurts you the most is the person who is closest to you. No one is perfect but we are all striving for perfection, thus, we are all in desperate need of grace. Grace is that unmerited favor extended to us by a loving God who, despite our flaws, loves us totally, completely and unconditionally. Instead of seeing the many flaws of your husband, it would probably help to start seeing yourself and where you fall short on a daily basis. This will not only bring you to a place where you are able to empathize with your husband but you will also find it easier and easier to love this person. Instead of being focused on the career and the weight, etc. (not saying that these things are not important) maybe it would do some good to start paying attention to ways in which you are possibly connect with your husband emotionally and hear his heart, in the process sharing yours with him. Asking for a divorce (which I realized you might have already done by now) will make all your problems go away but rather will compound your problems as you will be moving into another relationship with the same mindset which will ultimately lead you down the same path. Love your husband but first, learn to love yourself as only then can you love someone else. Understand what love looks like through the one who is love (God) and then work towards emulating this behavior towards yourself, your husband and others.  


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Graig Yarbrough


Most of the problems you have, are connected to your emotions. Your body follows your mind. What you think or have been thinking, you express in your body. That includes, pain, sickness, and anxiety. If you experience anger, that experience is a bodily feeling event. These feelings motivate behavior. Think of how you behaved the last time you experienced anger. What would that experience be like if there was no anger? These experiences color everything you do. Learn more about this and ways you can release these feeling states for the freedom you desire.


I have been counseling here on AllExperts for over 15 years. I have over 100 hours in personal counseling. I have experience in both individual and group counseling. I am an advocate of Energy Psychology and a practitioner of FasterEFT. Are you tired of taking about it and are ready to fix it? I thoroughly enjoy helping other people with the knowledge I have to share!

I have a B.A Degree and many hours of self-study. I have about 120 graduate hours in sociology. I was an Equal Opportunity Adviser for the US Army for three years. I am US Army Retired.
I am a graduate of the US Army Primary Leadership Course, Basic Non-commissioned Officers Course, and Advanced Non-commission course. I am a graduate of the Defense Equal Opportunity Management Institute.

I am a graduate of the Longridge Writer's Group. I am a graduate of Star Power, level 1. I am a student of FasterEFT and the release technique.

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