Expert: Laura Giles, MSW - 5/5/2010

Question
QUESTION: Hello:

Do you know if Narcissistic Personality Disorder can be "cured?" can any personality disorder be treated effectively to the extent that a person no longer has a disorder? Or are personality disorders virtually intractable?

I'm asking because I am he adult child of a Narcissist. Actually both of my parents have P.D's  My Mother is dependent, and my father is Narcissistic. My father now has La terminal disease, and I have an (admittedly selfish) need to set things straight before its too late, and have him understand that all of the awful things that he said about me growing up were really about his issues...despite numerous appointments with a variety of family counselors...and although he is significantly improved, still doesn't quite get it.  Your feedback would be greatly appreciated.

ANSWER: Hi Eric,

Some personality disorders are more treatable than others. Some have a pretty good chance that diagnosis will, at some point, no longer it the person. It just depends on the person, the severity of the disorder, and what is done to treat it.

I don't hold out hope that your father will be able to give you what you want. A really good treatment for personality disorder is Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). It was developed for borderline personality disorder, but if the person is willing to give the skills a try and keep an open mind, they can be life changing for anyone. However, if the person isn't interested in therapy, it obviously won't work.

Perhaps the thing to do is for YOU to get this type of counseling so that you can better understand how to deal with people with personality disorders so that the hurt that they inflict on you is significantly less.

Sincerely,

Laura Giles

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Out of personal curiosity...Is there a clear consensus regarding what causes Narcissistic personality disorder?  I'm sure it's a little bit different for each person, and the obvious answer is a compensatory mechanism for low self esteem... but this does not seem to explain the inability to empathize, and project all of ones own personal traits (both good and bad) onto their children. In consideration of the consistency of symptoms... Reading a book about NPD entitled "Trapped in the Mirror" It just seems as though there could be some sort of singular consistent theme that runs throughout many people with the disorder..and it seems as though there could be/should be some sort of consistent cause/cognitive deficit that makes it all happen.

just curious....really really curious.

Eric

Answer
Hi,

No, there is no clear cause for why a person develops narcissistic personality disorder. The preferred theory seems to be that narcissism is caused by very early affective deprivation (parental overindulgence, excessive praise, unreliable parenting, and a lack of realistic responses), yet the clinical material tends to describe narcissists as unwilling rather than unable, thus treating narcissistic behaviors as volitional -- that is, narcissism is termed a personality disorder, but it tends to be discussed as a character disorder.

Laura Giles