Expert: Daniel Keeran - 11/1/2011

Question
Hello,

I am an eighteen year old female with a very twisted problem: a porn addiction. It started when I was in seventh grade. You see, in health we had learned about rape. I had no idea about it. I was curious about it and I couldn't really understand it. At the time I liked watching documentaries so I decided to look up one about rape. Unfortunately what I found was porn with fake rapes. I was horrified the first two times to the point of tears but now I can watch passively.

I don't watch it everyday, it is more of a sporadic habit. Something usually triggers me. A sexual imagine or...an urge. Whenever I do watch it I always go for the ones featuring actresses pretending to be raped. I watch one, get satisfied and then leave - until something triggers me again.

I always feel guilt after doing it. I know it is wrong. It grieves my God and I am terrified of what would happen if my morally upright family and friends found out. Every time I watch it I feel like I am mocking real rape victims even though that is not my intention. I fear that this addiction reveals a sadistic streak in my that I don't want to admit to or develop further. I want to stop but I can never quite do it. It is a secret I keep to myself.

Do you have any suggestions?

Thanks,
Jewel

Answer
Sexual arousal is very susceptible to habit in relation to the source of stimulation. To stop porn addiction, you must past through the "critical time zone" which is what you describe as the trigger. If you give in to it, the addiction will continue. If you pass through the test, the addiction will weaken until it no longer has power over you.