Expert: Graig Yarbrough - 11/28/2011

Question
Hi,
This is not a problem but a general question. Something that I am aware of since I was a kid. I have been counselled a few times for some trivial issues when I was a kid, but the thing is I knew what the psychologist was trying to get at. I mean, the methods and everything were crystal clear to me. Till date I ridicule the concept of self-help books, counselling and all that. I mean everything that the other person tells you, you already know. You're paying him/her so that it can be spelled out for you. Is that it? Because honestly, this is what makes me uncomfortable if I have to advice someone on something, because I feel whatever I will say will have no actual impact. All kinds of mental healings can be done by the person himself. Sure, a little bit of push can be of help, but then all the answers are always within a person, atleast in my case. I'm not saying that i know everything. But it's so easy to guess why a person does what he does. The intricate psychologies involved were clear to me even when I was 10 years old. Is it just me with this 'talent' or usually people have this capacity to do things but simply let it go.
Instincts are certainly underrated.
Thanks :)

Answer
Hi Rohan,

I fully understand that you would know what is going on in a counseling session.  What we do is not a mystery.

There may be some, who try to make it more than it is.

A counselor is just a facilitator.  Our work is to get you to see yourself.

Sometimes we give you tools to do that. Other times, we just ask questions to point you inward. That where the truth is.

A good counselor wants to be there for you and help you do what you want to do for yourself.

In a counseling session where you have a good counselor, you are in charge.  You decide what to do. The counselor is there to direct you where he or she thinks you are going.

Rohan, the person himself does all healings.  In reality, we are whole, complete. We cloud that wholeness over with all kinds of negativity.  Remove the negativity and you are at your core.

As a counselor, I cannot heal anyone.  I do not have that power or permission.  I can help you to see your reactions to certain stimuli. We all have blind spots. Sometimes it takes another person to see that and point it out to us.  That is some of what counselors do.

You asked this question.

“Is it just me with this 'talent' or usually people have this capacity to do things but simply let it go.”

The answer as I understand it is that we all know the truth about ourselves.  Most of the time, we just don’t see it.   We can’t seem to get through the cloud we surround ourselves with.   Instince it a vital part of this process because we do know on a deeper level.

If you need further information or clarification, please write again.

Graig 