Expert: Marc Storr - 12/30/2011

Question
I'm 16 and I've known for a long time that there's something not right with me. But now I need help. I don't know how to get it though. I can't go to my parents about this and I have no money to pay a therapist. Were i live there is a mental hospital called Penetang. But it's not like i can just walk in and say I'm crazy, do something about it. I'm not in school or anything and I have no idea what do or who to go to without anyone finding out.

Answer
Hi Roberta

I'm not that familiar with Canadian counselling but I had a quick look on the Canadian Professional Counsellors Association (CCPA) website to see what info they had - see the link below.

http://www.cpca-rpc.ca

You don't provide any details regarding what you feel is 'wrong' with you, so I can't really discuss my perceptions in this sense.  However, I've worked with plenty of guys your age who felt that there was something wrong with them (or those around them).  Generally, their feelings were more linked to their age and experiences than anything being wrong as such.

I'm not sure the mental hospital is a good idea - in the UK you normally need to go via a doctor, unless there has been a major problem (psychosis, etc).  With that in mind, how about visiting a doctor in your area?  In the UK, a 16 yr old can visit their doctor without parental consent and there are also agencies that the doctor will refer the young person on to (Child & Adolescent Mental Health Service CAMHS)if necessary.  In the UK, these are free but I'm not sure about Canada.

In the UK, there are also a number of other agencies that young people can go to with their concerns - youth agencies, voluntary agencies and some charities.  There maybe something like this in your area - try the phone book and look under 'mental health', 'counselling', 'young people', 'support and advice', etc.

Some of the charities offer free counselling but this is usually linked to some specific form of distress (for funding reasons more than anything else) such as drug counselling or counselling for domestic violence/sexual abuse, etc.  If you can't find a charity that is linked to your issue (if you have one), just approach an agency and tell them that the issue (eg, drugs) is in the past and that you'd just like to talk about your current feelings as you feel this will help prevent you from using drugs again.

Also, don't be afraid to call some people up and discuss your concerns.  Most counsellors I know will offer some guidance over the phone and some offer a free initial session or further sessions at reduced rates (ie, cheaper than normal).  At your age, a lot of professionals will take a sympathetic view and may try to help you in terms of pointing you in the right direction.  I would call the CCPA first to see how they can help - Call Toll-Free: 1(888)945-2722 just in case you can't access the website.

Regarding not telling your parents - mostly, the families I've come across don't appear to 'care' that much for their children and may not be able to offer the best guidance.  However, they usually do love their children and will try to help where they can.  If your parents have been supportive over the years, they are likely to be more concerned than anything else and may be able to help you.  Unless there are clear reasons not to approach them, try reconsidering your belief that you can't tell your parents.

Hope this helps Roberta

Take it easy, Marc