Counseling/teen sex


Hello, I have a 14 year old daughter, that had sex in school today. She lived with her mom the first time she had sex which was last year. She just came to live with me during the Thanksgiving weekend, do to problems her and her mother were having. I don't know what to do she's a 4.0 student, im thinking of sending her to a all girl school im lost I don't know what to do. Im her father and im hurt

Hi Joel,

Please forgive your waiting for my response, I've been really busy at work.

Your daughter is having sex, this is always devastating to a parent. We wish we could keep our children safe and a virgin forever! I know, I raised a daughter. Unfortunately, real life does not work like that. They grow, they make mistakes and hopefully learn from them, then they get older and become independent. The best way a child can learn is by their own mistakes so all we can do is guide them in the right direction and hope they are listening.

Let's look at her positive... she is a GREAT student! So if she is having sex she is still responsible enough to maintain her grades. Give her credit for that. I would not suggest sending her to an all girls school because she is having sex. She will most likely end up rebelling against you. What you could do is sit down and have a heart to heart, with pictures, of all the diseases you can catch by having sex. Pull them up on the internet. Let her see the visual of herpes, people with aids, gonorrhea, and syphilis etc... not to scare her but to 'show' her reality. Don't just show her the pictures though, talk about and ask her questions about each one. She will probably say she knows all about that but still, make it mandatory that this takes place. By doing this you know you did your job by educating her to your best. Then, the decision is really hers.  14 may be young to you and I but She actually falls into the average age of having sex this day and time. Again, this does not make it right, but really...what can you do but educate her on her decisions? you can not stop her from having sex, where there is a will there is a way.

Hopefully, this gives you some different insight to the situation. I really hope it was helpful.

I know I was late in responding but I do hope you leave me a good rating. If you have any follow up questions to this response please feel free to ask.  

Thank you so much!

Deneen Scott, M.A., HS-BCP


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Deneen Scott, M.A., HS-BCP


I can answer questions in reference to child/adolescent concerns,relationship questions to include sexual questions in general. I can also answer general problem solving questions. I can not answer any questions that are medical, or having to do with children being abused/molested, and death.


7 years experience working with children and families. 5 years experience with relationships, 10+ years in general problem solving.

I have an Associates Degree in Human Services, A Certificate in Substance Abuse Education, A Bachelors Degree in Community Development:Community Service, and a Masters Degree in Human Services: Marriage and Family Counseling. I am also a certified Human Service Board Certified Practitioner

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