Question I am 31 years old, and have been unemployed for the last ten years. I am currently getting a portion of my dad's social security (I stopped working shortly after he died, since I developed arthritis so badly, that I couldn't walk hardly). I am currently living at my mom's house, and am hoping to find employment that is suitable for my arthritis, as I've earned my degree. Like any family, we have our share of issues that we fight about. Finding medication to treat my arthritis has been a challenge, however, there is one medication that is a miracle cure. Here is the glitch I'm going through... for a period of time, my insurance would not cover the cost of the medication. The pharmacist told me the best thing to do is pay the cost, and get the physician to write a letter to my insurance, and in most cases insurance reimburses the purchases. I believed this, and this was not the case. Since I trusted the pharmacist, I went to the safe deposit box that my parents have been renting, and took money from it ($600 for three months). My mother told me I was never to go there without her permission, unless she was no longer alive. Since my insurance will not reimburse me for countless reasons (even though they agreed to cover it for a little while longer), I am now living everyday of my life in fear of when Mom may find out that I did this. She is going to be absolutely furious if she finds this out. Fessing up is not something I can do. I rely on her for practically everything, and the only other person I could have asked for help is no longer alive. Since I can no longer get my medication, I've completed a pain rehab program, which I learned a lot from, though the pain has not gone away. I chose not to spend anymore money on the medication. I do not qualify for any loans, as I've found out. I even tried to get one from a stranger online, which could have really ruined my life, however, nothing seems as bad as my mother finding out I took the money. I already hate my life, and if I lose the little freedom I have, and all the help from my mother, I cannot bear it. I'm not saying Mom does not have the right to be mad, however, I'm a victim in this respect too, and I think that there should be a way to solve this without ruining my life. What do you think I should do?
Answer Hi Kelsey - I can understand why you took money to alleviate your pain. The implication is if you had asked your mother for it, you think she would have refused, despite your pain -?
It seems you to have two broad choices - don't disclose, and live with fear and guilt, or disclose honestly and live with her "fury." I hope that if she cares about your welfare, she would forgive you for not asking first and seeking to manage your pain.
The core issue you two need to discuss is not the money, it's why you didn't feel safe asking for her help.
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