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Counseling/Was I Sexually Abused


Hi.Im a 16 years old girl and recently i've began thinking that i might have been sexually abused when i was very young(3-5).Growing up my mother would constantly ask me whenever we talked on the phone ( she lived in another country) if anyone had touched me and to tell someone if anyone did.I didn't think anything of it at the time i just thought she was being a concerned parent.When i was ten my friends were talking about thier first memories and I began thinking about mines. I got this brief flash of myself and this unidentified man alone in my childhood house on my bed and i think he was touching me ( the memory is kind of blurry now),and i remember saying to myself that it was the last time he did this. For years i pushed that thought to the back of my head because I believed i was just imagining things or remembering things in the wrong context. recently my father and I were watching the news and they were talking about a sex offender.He kind of mumbled that my mother and some other relatives once accused someone in the family of touching me but that it wasn't true. Since then i've been thinking about it and it makes sense.Ive always had an odd fascination with sex and have always known what it was without knowing how ( i watched porn from a very early age and used to pretend my toys were having sex). I wet the bed until i was about seven and had a few accidents years after. I would touch myself when i was younger(not in a sexual way) in order to fall asleep and i still find comfort in that today. I have never really felt comfortable with men hugging me or really touching me in any way. I have always had a very strong hate for sex offender/ pedophiles and have said i would rather die than be raped for many years. I have anxiety problems and hate being watched.
   i have a load of other signs pointing to sexual abuse but i'm afraid i might be wrong and that its all in my head. i want to ask my mother but i'm scared. Is it possible that i could have been sexually abused or could it all be in my head?

Hello Meeka,

What you have written fits the profile for an early abuse scenario; however, it's impossible to say that it definitely happened based on that. I wouldn't dismiss it because it isn't more concrete than that.


Laura Giles


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Laura Giles, MSW


I can answer questions about sexual assault, sex offending, domestic violence, substance abuse, acudetox, hypnosis, biofeedback, neurofeedback, ADHD, relationship issues, and run of the mill mental health questions.


Extensive inpatient, outpatient and criminal justice experience.

BS counseling, MSW social work

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