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QUESTION: I'm in the relationship which going 3yrs this Feb2014 but there's something that keeps bothering me. My boyfriend has a son and during the 1st yr of the relationship they're still living in the same house with his parent. He told me that time to trust him and nothing is going on between him and his son's mother. He told me the only reason she's staying is because of the child until he decided to have this girl leave their house and let me stay instead. We're on our 1st quarter of our 2nd year when I found out that he lied to me. He's still having sexual relationship with the girl by the time she's living with him and i was really devastated coz he assure me every now and then that nothing is happening and to found out its all lies.but since i love him and he promise we'll start all over again since he give up the girl for me. I thought everything is smooth until just 3months after our second anniv i found out he make love again to this girl. And what hurt the most is its 3days before my bday. We celebratedf that day as if nothing happens. He lied to me again and what confuse me is how many times he did it coz he wont confess. Im now having issues trusting him and slowly i dont know if i still love him. Those lies keep playing on my mind and its a threat to our relationship. Please tell me the best thing i have to do. Its killing me from the inside

ANSWER: Hi Josephine
I read through you story and i have to be candid with you.
You should not be confused in the present circumstance, because there are options that are available for you to take.
Firstly, the guy does not love you, because he keeps lying to you and messing around with his former ex.
Secondly you cannot love someone you don't trust,because it is so dangerous to do that.
Thirdly, its time to clear your mind of any blind love you think you are having and move on with your life, because i am not convinced the guy is ready to sacrifice his past pleasure for your sake. If he has done it more than twice without blinking an eye, the tendency to do it again is so high.
Finally, Never take out time to discuss with him before you say a final goodbye. Share with him the reasons why you have to call it quit, and please never allow emotions to override your sense of judgement, because you deserve more than what you're getting right now.
Wishing you all the best Josephine

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: I'm already on  that page about leaving him but what keeps me from holding on is because im 8months pregnant now..i thought i can live with it until i realized its becoming my  nightmare already. Thats why im confuse which path to follow and what decission to make

Answer
Hello Josephine
I felt touched knowing the fact about your been pregnant. Its even more disturbing because the one who aught to give you comfort in this difficult times is causing you nightmare. I really understand your confusion, but at the same time, i would suggest you be strong. Not for yourself alone, but for your baby.
I still stand by my previous remark about calling it quit, because from the look of things, it is not worth it.
Wishing you compliments of the season and do take good care of yourself.

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clement sadjere

Expertise

I can answer question relating to general counseling question,infidelity in family sexual abuse, broken homes,adultery, courtship and marriage compatibility.

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i am a teacher in my local church for more than 18 years and have handled similar topics. I have been married for 10 years and have 3 lovely kids. I am an Author/motivational speaker with more than 8 years of successfully hosting seminars/training programs where participants have been blessed.

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Nigeria Football Referee Association, Geregu Gas Power Plant, The Redeemed Christian Church of God

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Bachelors Degree in Electrical/Electronics Engineering Diploma Degree in Computer Science Certificate in System Electrical Operations

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1.Certificate of Achievement awarded for completion of the "100 articles in 100 Days marathon challenge(#HAHD)" January 10, 2011- April 19,2011 by Ezine Articles. 2.Certificate of Achievement awarded for completion of the "100 articles in 100 Days marathon challenge(#HAHD)" September 23, 2010- December 31,2010 by Ezine Articles

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