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Counseling/Friendship, knowing what to do


Hi Clement,
Here is my issue/ question:  I have this friend whom I feel a particular closeness to, whom I'll refer to as Karissa.  To give you an idea of how we met, I should explain that I am 33 years old, and she is 59; I am living at my mom's house, as I have no money, and Karissa is a neighbor.  About a year ago, I had a hairdresser, whom I used for 20 years fry up my hair, so as a result, I cut ties.  I should explain now that Karissa is a hairdresser, and she has since taken over (she works primarily in real estate.  I feel like fate brought us together, as these things really don't happen a lot.  Karissa and I have as a result formed a friendship with vulnerability.  
At any rate, here is the glitch:  It's very rare that I find a friend whom I can share anything with that is on my mind.  I have tried to just ease into the friendship, as I've learned that manipulating a relationship of any kind does not work.  I should explain that I am in a serious relationship with my boyfriend (who is actually 2 years younger than Karissa), however, I feel I need at least one girlfriend whom I can share my secrets with, and want to move things along faster.  I should explain too that when my boyfriend's mother was alive (she was Peggy), I could tell her anything, and always felt like I had an open door that would never close, and her passing is another event that occurred when Karissa and I started talking more.  Not having Peggy around has been very emotionally draining, and there was a certain mentor (we'll call her Rose) I once had, whom I was hoping would support me.  To my surprise, Rose stepped away, wouldn't talk to me, and has not since.  I really did not see that coming.  I was with Karissa for the last two days, and so wanted to tell her how much she means to me, and that I want to keep the door open.  I had mentioned this issue to a few cousins, and two told me to ask Karissa to become blood sisters with me... I don't really think in this day in age that would happen (at least not the traditional way), however, I'm thinking I would like to "seal" our friendship somehow, and just agree to treat each other as family, particularly since I come from a dysfunctional family, which is hard on me.  What do you think I should do.  Even with all of the time I've spent with Karissa these past 48 hours, I couldn't tell her.  I gave her a friendship card, however, as I started to explain that I just want to make sure our bond lasts, I lost my courage.  This is so hard!!  Please help; I'm so lost, and if I knew our friendship was permanent, I would have so much more peace in my life.

Hello Katie
The longer you hide your feelings toward karissa, the more difficult it becomes.
I would suggest that you summon the courage to tell how what you feel, because the issue involved is so sensitive, and if not properly handled, can result in serious consequences.
You don't play with someones emotions, because it can be very dangerous


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clement sadjere


I can answer question relating to general counseling question,infidelity in family sexual abuse, broken homes,adultery, courtship and marriage compatibility.


i am a teacher in my local church for more than 18 years and have handled similar topics. I have been married for 10 years and have 3 lovely kids. I am an Author/motivational speaker with more than 8 years of successfully hosting seminars/training programs where participants have been blessed.

Nigeria Football Referee Association, Geregu Gas Power Plant, The Redeemed Christian Church of God


Bachelors Degree in Electrical/Electronics Engineering Diploma Degree in Computer Science Certificate in System Electrical Operations

Awards and Honors
1.Certificate of Achievement awarded for completion of the "100 articles in 100 Days marathon challenge(#HAHD)" January 10, 2011- April 19,2011 by Ezine Articles. 2.Certificate of Achievement awarded for completion of the "100 articles in 100 Days marathon challenge(#HAHD)" September 23, 2010- December 31,2010 by Ezine Articles

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