You are here:

Counseling/Need A opinion outside my family


Its a long story but ill make it short. Its about sibling rivalry.Just trying to give u a clear idea with the extra detail.So about 3 years ago my older brother (28) and his wife (27) bought a small farm of 75 acres. There farm is beautiful but it required a lot of work and there still working on clearing trees off their property when they can afford it. They had to buy a house to put on it, they built a shed, and their about to have a second baby.. I am 24 year old women. I live at home and go to college full time. I also am interested in farm life due to the fact we were both raised on my dad and moms farm. Any way there is a 80 acre piece of property right down the road from his that is for sale that I plan on buying. I was going to keep it a secret until I actually owned it just incase things didn't work out for me. well my brother and his wife found out and they said if I buy it they'll never speak to me again, that I was stealing it out from under them, that I am a chicken "s**t", and if I don't have a contract on it they'll run the bid up so it will be expensive for me, just a lot of hateful things. I was aware that they wanted the property someday but they were also aware that I wanted the property as well. So about three months ago I asked my brother what he thought of me buying it he said I quote, "me and her don't care as long as we get better neighbors". Well unsurprisingly he denies saying that to me. Anyway, it is causing a big family war. He and his wife are threatening my parents and other brothers that if I buy the land than nobody is aloud to see our nephew again or be on there property. I live at home I own 2 horses and 20 cows on rented ground. So I was super excited to know I get the opportunity to purchase 80 acres 7 miles from my parents house and start my own life. now I'm curious if I am doing the right thing. Am I wrong to purchase this property 1 mile down the rode from my brothers farm when he to apparently wanted to buy it someday? I need an opinion from someone who doesn't know either one of us.

Hi Lesli,

How are you? I appreciate you asking question here at All I understand that sibling rivalry can occur at anytime in the family. It may seem normal but sometimes it is not helpful and at the moment, it seem like the reason for that is that you are not getting your way.  I wonder if you are younger than your brother and that you feel awkward that he is giving orders to your parents so that your parents can hold up your decision.

As an outsider, I honestly can say that I don't see any reason why you cannot buy the property if you can afford it. The only thing that can stop you from buying the acres is if you value family relationship more than the property; which I think you do, because you are still contemplating on buying the property.  I wonder why? Sometimes, gender, sibling position and relationship with the parents are the factors for making a decision in a family circle.  If you fall on being a younger sister and always been good to your parents to follow their rules and regulations you will feel a bit dissatisfied taking the chance of getting the property.  But if you are an older sister and ready to tell your brother that I don't care because I know mom and dad will not let my kid be not part of the family then you will take the risk.   

One thing, I can assure you parents like to know the opinion of their children.  Why don't you try to find from your mom and dad how they feel so that you will know what would be best for you.  Parents are the best source of guidance.

Take care Lesli.



All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts




Queries related to psychology and counseling (general, psychometrics, education, behavioral concern, and religion). I basically answer questions of any kind with sympathy and modesty and relate them to psychology and counseling. But please nothing related to relationship questions.


Skilled in using psychometrics, education and counseling as well as religion.

BS Behavioral Sciences Dean's List, Medical Office Assistant Previous work: Psychometrician and Counselor

©2017 All rights reserved.