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How do I not care what this therapist said when she insulted me  

Today was my second visit and she fell asleep both times. In addition she insulted me today. I came to her office to deal with family issues and at the end of todays session she says 'I been meaning to ask you, why are your clothes big on you'. I was stunned especially since my issues had nothing to do with my clothes. Also almost every day I get complimented on what I am wearing. I dress very chic and elegant, I do not dress slutty.

I asked her why she said this and she said 'I want to know if you have body issues'. Again I was stunned. I told her that the way I dress is none of her business and I always get compliment on how I dress and the issues I came to discuss had nothing to do with my body or clothes.

I told her I will never come back to see her again and she had no right to put down the way I dress. When I got to my car I called my best friend and she was stunned as well.

Because of this psychologists remarks the rest of the day I felt very insecure about the way I dress.  I was feeling really good about myself until this therapists remarks

Answer
Hi Deb - I understand why you felt what you did. I propose that the REAL issue here is your degree of reactivity to the therapist's [unprofessional] behavior. If your true Self was guiding you, you would shrug, feel temporary frustration and resentment, and move on.  

I encourage you to check yourself for inherited psychological wounds that may have caused your reaction [and your need for professional counsel]:  http://sfhelp.org/gwc/guide1.htm Further questions = welcome! - Pete

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Peter Gerlach, MSW

Expertise

I can answer questions about mood disorders, depression, suicide, relationships, communication skills, problem solving, clear thinking, bonding disorders, trauma recovery, addiction management, grieving, shame, guilt, fear, reality distortion, and trust disorders; courtship, family functioning, "problem kids," mediation, (re)marriage, divorce, stepfamilies, stepparenting, boundaries, self-neglect, abuse, parental neglect, personality subselves, ("parts work"). I cannot answer legal or medical questions.

Experience

I maintained a private therapy practice near Chicago for 27 years, and have worked with over 1,000 men, women, couples, and families on a wide range of personal and family problems. I have been in personal recovery from growing up in an alcoholic family since 1986, and have worked with five therapists to heal my own psychological wounds. I maintained a "warm (phone) line" for callers on the topics above for 20 years, and have taught over 200 seminars and classes in midwestern universities, churches, support groups, and schools since 1981. I have practiced internal-family therapy ("parts work") with trauma-recoverers since 1991.

Organizations
National Stepfamily Resource Center (NSRC) Experts Council; SelfGrowth.com Compassion and Choices, and Final Exit Network

Publications
# Several hundred articles in my non-profit "Break the Cycle!" Web site at http://sfhelp.org These articles are augmented by over 150 educational YouTube videos .

# six books on childhood-trauma recovery, effective communication, and stepfamily courtship, coparenting, and management.

Education/Credentials
A bachelors degree in mechanical engineering (BSME, 1959) from Stanford University, a Masters degree in clinical Social Work, (MSW, 1981), and over 500 hours of post-grad training in the topics above - including clinical hypnosis, spirituality, codependence, addicrtion-management, and guided imagery. My post-grad traning includes two 9-month internships on doing internal-family therapy at the University of Illinois.

Awards and Honors
Hundreds of grateful emails and comments from students and clients all over the world.

Past/Present Clients
Over 1,000 average Midwestern-US women, men, couples, and families. A physical disability limits me to doing telephone and Skype counseling now.

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