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Counseling/Anxiety and Depression


Okay, I'm 22, and I am a dance teacher. My fiance, Robert, is 25. He is from Sweden and he moved here with his parents when he was 18. We met at college my first year there and immediately hit it off and started dating. We moved in together when I was 20 and we got engaged about 3 months ago, and I couldn't be more excited to marry my best friend. He is sweet and understanding and he always makes me laugh, but he has a lot of problems with anxiety and depression. He is a graphic designer, so he works from home a lot. Sometimes, he is just fine, and he likes to go out with our friends and have dinner and be social, but he'll have these days where he doesn't want to leave the house because he is so depressed and so anxious. It usually lasts about a week where he'll sort of hibernate and he won't go anywhere. He'll work only from home, and he'll stay up after I go to bed for hours playing video games or watching tv because he has some problems with insomnia when he's depressed.

He has tried a lot of different medications, but he says he doesn't like how they make him feel. He goes to counseling, but it doesn't seem to help him. I don't know what to do for him. My family isn't very understanding about mental illness and they think he's just lazy and that I shouldn't marry him because of his problems, but he isn't lazy at all. He works really hard and makes decent money and unless he's feeling depressed or anxious, we go to the gym together almost every day, and we do the fun things together. We go out to eat and go to the movies and go to the zoo or six flags or something fun on our days off. He isn't what they think he is. But I don't know how to help him. It breaks my heart when he gets into these ruts where he doesn't want to leave the house out of fear and depression. I don't know what to do for him. I just want him to be happy. What can I do? I feel helpless. And please don't be hurtful.

Hello Sara,

#1.You can't help him. You can SUPPORT him, but he has to help himself. This isn't anything anyone else can do for him.

#2. The basic formula for stability is MEDDSS.

M- meditation. Regular, deep breathing does so much for the body. It turns off the fight-or-flight part of the brain and allows the reset/restore part of us to go to work. It oxygenates the body and helps the lungs to detoxify. It also is very relaxing.

E- exercise.

D- diet. Eat fresh, alive, clean foods. No GMO (no corn, wheat, soy). No artificial colors, flavors, or preservatives.

D- drugs. If he is on any prescriptions, he should continue them until he no longer needs them.

S- sleep. Establish a sleep routine that is regular and at least 8 hours per night.

S- spirituality. If your soul is not at peace, your body won't be either.

Once those things are taken care of, you should be able to see what his true baseline is. If there is still a problem, he needs to have a his system checked for toxins and vitamin and mineral deficiencies. NOT A BLOOD TEST, but a hair mineral analysis. Many different imbalances can cause sleep disturbances, mood disorders, worry, anxiety, and lack of motivation. Fix the deficiency and the symptoms will go away.

I suspect he will see a vast improvement just from doing MEDDSS though.

If he's too sluggish to do that, try a calcium/magnesium supplement with a 1:1 ratio. This may help him sleep better the same night (if you have a bioavailable supplements). If this happens, he definitely has a deficiency and needs to see someone who can help him with diet and supplements to get rebalanced.


Laura Giles

P.S. He may also be helped with zinc.

DISCLAIMER: This is not intended to diagnose any particular disease or be treatment for any particular problem. It's just a suggestion. Check into it yourself.

NO supplement should be taken for any length of time without the guidance of a hair mineral analysis as what's beneficial now can unbalance you if taken too long or in the wrong quantity.


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Laura Giles, MSW


I can answer questions about sexual assault, sex offending, domestic violence, substance abuse, acudetox, hypnosis, biofeedback, neurofeedback, ADHD, relationship issues, and run of the mill mental health questions.


Extensive inpatient, outpatient and criminal justice experience.

BS counseling, MSW social work

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