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QUESTION: I have a 31 yr old daughter with PDD. For the biggest part, I think all she needs is time to grow up. Years ago, trying to tell her something or teach her something was like talking to a brick wall. A year or 2 or 3 later, it seems to 'click' Except the one problem I have is that she gets time mixed up. She will tell me for example about something that happened just last week and I think and think trying to remember and then realize it happened last year!

So what I'm wondering is if she needs counseling for this? Or if this too will just 'click' one day.

We recently moved to Fl from Maine. She tried counseling down here but didn't like it.
I'm considering finding someone else and making her go.

Since your the professional give me your opinion please.

ANSWER: Hello Joyce. From your description, I doubt that your daughter "has POD." I also doubt that at age 31, she needs more time "to grow up." The time-distortion symptom may be organic (meriting a psychiatrist), or perhaps is a symptom she has inherited psychological wounds.

I encourage you and her to study and discuss these:

http://sfhelp.org/gwc/gwc.htm   http://sfhelp.org/gwc/means.htm

http://sfhelp.org/gwc/1_traits.htm

http://sfhelp.org/gwc/recover.htm   http://sfhelp.org/fam/cycle.htm

I strongly encourage you to hire a veteran family therapist for all of you, not an individual one for your daughter. "Finding" a therapist for an able adult - no matter how well intentioned - is inherently disrespectful, and is usually self-defeating.

If this brings up new questions, please ask - Pete

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: well she was formally diagnosed by a psychologist approx. 10 yrs ago. I have documentation from 2 different DRs.

She can be very wise and grown up and smart and turn around a play with dolls.

At any rate, I'm not sure what you mean by 'inherited' psychological wounds? Does that mean that I passed down the traits, the ones I didn't even know I had? And what does Organic mean? Something she ate?

She was in counseling in Maine and loved it. However we didn't love the winters.

Answer
OK  so what more do you need from me, Joyce? "Organic" means "from genes and biological malfunction." I suspect Your doctors did not know about inherited psychological wounds, so they misdiagnosed your daughter. I respectfully recommend you (1) read the articles I linked you to, and (2) get an evaluation from a family therapist - Pete  

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Peter Gerlach, MSW

Expertise

I can answer questions about mood disorders, depression, suicide, relationships, communication skills, problem solving, clear thinking, bonding disorders, trauma recovery, addiction management, grieving, shame, guilt, fear, reality distortion, and trust disorders; courtship, family functioning, "problem kids," mediation, (re)marriage, divorce, stepfamilies, stepparenting, boundaries, self-neglect, abuse, parental neglect, personality subselves, ("parts work"). I cannot answer legal or medical questions.

Experience

I maintained a private therapy practice near Chicago for 27 years, and have worked with over 1,000 men, women, couples, and families on a wide range of personal and family problems. I have been in personal recovery from growing up in an alcoholic family since 1986, and have worked with five therapists to heal my own psychological wounds. I maintained a "warm (phone) line" for callers on the topics above for 20 years, and have taught over 200 seminars and classes in midwestern universities, churches, support groups, and schools since 1981. I have practiced internal-family therapy ("parts work") with trauma-recoverers since 1991.

Organizations
National Stepfamily Resource Center (NSRC) Experts Council; SelfGrowth.com Compassion and Choices, and Final Exit Network

Publications
# Several hundred articles in my non-profit "Break the Cycle!" Web site at http://sfhelp.org These articles are augmented by over 150 educational YouTube videos .

# six books on childhood-trauma recovery, effective communication, and stepfamily courtship, coparenting, and management.

Education/Credentials
A bachelors degree in mechanical engineering (BSME, 1959) from Stanford University, a Masters degree in clinical Social Work, (MSW, 1981), and over 500 hours of post-grad training in the topics above - including clinical hypnosis, spirituality, codependence, addicrtion-management, and guided imagery. My post-grad traning includes two 9-month internships on doing internal-family therapy at the University of Illinois.

Awards and Honors
Hundreds of grateful emails and comments from students and clients all over the world.

Past/Present Clients
Over 1,000 average Midwestern-US women, men, couples, and families. A physical disability limits me to doing telephone and Skype counseling now.

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