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Counseling/Infant and sleepless nights

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Question
Hello Maia. So I am a new father. My wife and I had our daughter three months ago. The first few weeks were the toughest!! The sleepless nights. Oh the sleepless nights!! We then found our rhythm. My wife started breastfeeding in the night and then we started to get sleep! It was great! My wife didn't get her sleep like she had before the baby,but it was much better than the first couple weeks.

Last week she decided that she wasn't going to breastfeed at night. Instead, she started giving our daughter formula to keep her sleeping longer (4 hours vs. 2-3 hours breastfeeding). I can now take a more active role in nighttime feedings. However, I suffer from insomnia. I really don't have issues falling back to sleep if I wake for a minute or two, but I've found that when I help with the nighttime feedings, it's pretty impossible for me to get back to sleep. I've had a week of sleepless nights. On average, I'll sleep the three or perhaps four hours after we initially feed and put our daughter to bed. Then once she wakes, I feed her and stay awake, struggling to sleep.

She is a stay at home mother and I work. Lately I've noticed I cannot focus on my job at work and find I sometimes don't even remember the drive to work or home, as in my sleep deprived mind, everything has become fuzzy. I wish I could ask my wife to start breastfeeding at night again, but don't want to sound selfish. I know the switch to formula for nighttime feedings has helped my wife have longer stretches of sleep, but I feel it is slowly killing me. How do I approach this? She sees how this is negatively affecting me, but hasn't acknowledged it. What do I do?
I appreciate the help. Thank you.

Answer
Hi Jared,

How are you?  Thank you for asking me a question regarding your concern.  I am not really an expert in terms of baby-caring nor on nightfeeding for the babies but I am going to try to answer your queries to the best of my ability.  

There are things/reasons that a baby cannot sleep aside from being hungry and what I did is to copy and paste articles that you can hopefully browse yourself in order to find the most appropriate concern that your daughter is having trouble sleeping.  

1) http://www.parentingscience.com/infant-sleep-problems.html

2) Tips on Keeping the baby to sleep: http://www.parents.com/baby/new-parent/sleep-deprivation/end-sleepless-nights/

3) http://www.triplepontario.ca/en/about_triple_p/Parenting_Tips_Listed_From_P_To_Z

4) http://www.cnn.com/2012/09/10/health/sleepless-infants-mom-depressed/

At the moment, there are things you have to consider whether the baby is really hungry on why she is not sleeping.  Otherwise, it could be her sleeping time is too early, or too late or just because the room temperature is not proper on her body temperature.   

Parents who are deprived of sleeping by infants can really feel depressed after a while and that it is also necessary to ask your pediatrician to get more solutions in terms of the baby's sleeping habit. I do apologize Jared that you are losing more of your sleep and that you cannot concentrate much on daily dealings.  But if you are able to discuss to your wife that Pediatrician can assist you both in helping your daughter to sleep without waking up in the middle of the night, you are also helping her to develop her bedtime and giving her a better rest ( and the same with you.)   

Thank you so much for asking question in my corner.  Have a wonderful evening.

Maia  

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Maia

Expertise

I can answer any counseling concern related to coping with stress, emotional imbalance, sibling rivalry, marital relationship, spiritual confusion that affected/affecting and will affect your well-being. I am not the usual "what is in the box!" type of counselor. I am very polite and gentle but direct to help you understand your situation. I also use pastoral technique to help you understand that human needs supernatural power from the source in order to cope with stressors. Please be informed that I am very much welcoming in any questions you would like to ask but PLEASE DON'T BE RUDE in the stating the subject/concern. ANY FOUL LANGUAGE can restrict me to entertain your queries. Thank you very much.

Experience

I am a Counselor with BS Behavioral Sciences degree. I have experienced in counseling both individual and groupd sessions. I have conducted a lot of workshops related to peer counseling and healthy mind body and spirit related topic. I did a couple of thesis counseling session when I used to work in a Medical College. I have been commended for my research work. My passion is to listen and be able to assist anyone who needs problem-solving solution.

Organizations
Psychological Educators' Society (2001-2004)

Education/Credentials
BS Behavioral Sciences Counselor for 5 years Researcher for 2 years Psychometrician for 2 years Adept in counseling, use of psychological testing and administration and interpretation/use e-clectic technique

Awards and Honors
Graduated with Honours (CLINICAL OFFICE ASSISTANT)

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