Counseling/emotions

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Question
Hi!
I have studied social skills which sounds good but never really works. Whenever I am in a social situations there are many stimuli and even emotions/feelings that make it hard to socialize and do things in that situation. My executive functioning doesn't work very well in such situations. My emotions/feelings often make it difficult for me to take innitiative and do things (people have to approach me). I feel more on the inside than I express on the outside. Reading about social skills hasn't really helped. It is also difficult for me to meet beautiful women since then there are feelings involved (if ya know what I mean). I ussualy get frustrated and angry about how difficult life is. I am kind of a shy person who never really show my inner world to people. I want relationships but the social world is too difficult for me. For some people social behaviour is something more automatic but for me I have to give more energy into it since my brain is atypical. Sometimes I feel emotions of sadness (like my eyes need to weep).
What should I do???

Answer
Hi Anders,

What you’ve described to me is largely the trouble you are having with your feelings.

Feelings are the body's reaction to thoughts or thought processes. They are really two sides of the same coin.   If you have a bad feeling, there is a thought or group of thoughts in your memory somewhere that associates with it.  

Feelings are also the mechanism we use to tell if we are being our best self.  If we feel positive about something, we are being our best self.  If we feel negative about something, it is an indication we are going the wrong way.

You base the kind of feeling you experience on the “meaning” you attach to the thought.   If the meaning is positive, the feeling expressed will be positive.  If the meaning is negative, the feeling expressed will be negative.

We know that feelings motivate behavior.  What do you do when you get angry? Now take that same scenario   and tell me what you would have done if you did not get angry.

Now, what you are experiencing is programs in your deep mind that represent experiences that you have had in the past.  Something you do now, triggers them and out they come, replete with their associated feelings.  You experience this new episode as being real when it is not. It is just a program from your past playing in the now.  The result is your perception suffers. You see what is going on now as it happened in the past, not what is really happening to you now. This causes all kinds of problems like you described.

How do you fix this?

When you were a child, you experienced feelings about something, you expressed them, and then you let them go. Over time, you learned to hold on to those feelings. As a result, you suppressed them.  They went below your conscious awareness, however they did not go away.   As soon as you trigger them, out they come.

You wrote;

“It is also difficult for me to meet beautiful women since then there are feelings involved (if ya know what I mean).”

When you see beautiful women, it triggers old programs in your subconscious to include the associated feelings.  Can you name those feelings?  Are they fear?  How about guilt?  Is there anxiety there?

Now what do you do with those feelings so that they no longer motive your behavior?

I have a technique I can share with you and I also have a source where you can go and see this in action.

If you want that, write me again.  If you need further information or clarification, please write again.

Graig

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Graig Yarbrough

Expertise

Most of the problems you have, are connected to your emotions. Your body follows your mind. What you think or have been thinking, you express in your body. That includes, pain, sickness, and anxiety. If you experience anger, that experience is a bodily feeling event. These feelings motivate behavior. Think of how you behaved the last time you experienced anger. What would that experience be like if there was no anger? These experiences color everything you do. Learn more about this and ways you can release these feeling states for the freedom you desire.

Experience

I have been counseling here on AllExperts for over 15 years. I have over 100 hours in personal counseling. I have experience in both individual and group counseling. I am an advocate of Energy Psychology and a practitioner of FasterEFT. Are you tired of taking about it and are ready to fix it? I thoroughly enjoy helping other people with the knowledge I have to share!

Education/Credentials
I have a B.A Degree and many hours of self-study. I have about 120 graduate hours in sociology. I was an Equal Opportunity Adviser for the US Army for three years. I am US Army Retired.
I am a graduate of the US Army Primary Leadership Course, Basic Non-commissioned Officers Course, and Advanced Non-commission course. I am a graduate of the Defense Equal Opportunity Management Institute.

I am a graduate of the Longridge Writer's Group. I am a graduate of Star Power, level 1. I am a student of FasterEFT and the release technique.

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