Counseling/social

Advertisement


Question
The thing about the social world is that it's too difficult. Relationships are hard. When you have a pervasive developmental disorder diagnosis the social world is way more difficult than for typical people. Although I have been reading books and talking to people about this, it is still hard. When I try to have different kind/forms of relationships I seem to fail. Perhaps people do not want to have relationships with me. Maybe people already have enough relationships or maybe I am not the right person for them. People say they like me but relationships are still too hard and kind of impossible. Not even do interesting activities with people works well for me. I have normal intelligence so I'm not stupid, but even if being well-informed about the social world I  often fail. Although some people know about my diagnosis I fail. According to psychological testing I can not really interpret what people feel or think in a good way that would work in the social settings. Sometimes I talk with people about how to interpret social situations and how they think/feel but still It's too difficult.
What wisdom can you give me?

Answer
Hi Anders,

How are you?

I do apologize for the delayed response as I have been busy for the past few days and thank you for your quick time to ponder on your concern.

I would like to begin your query with your ability to focus on the "difficulty of your relating to people".  I wonder if you have noticed that what you are focusing on is the hardship of the situation rather than relaxing yourself to deal with a relationship.  

For one thing I know that you are able to express yourself quite well with your e-mail so I do not think that a relationship can be difficult for you.  When a person can speak his mind he is able to communicate what he likes or wants and what he doesn't like or not want.  What is making it difficult I guess is that you have not found the one you are compatible with.  

With that, I suggest that do not analyze more of what the behaviorist told you or what the results of psychological assessment was given to you.  Most anxieties or struggles arise because the counselee is only seeing the results of the psychological testing and other behavioral assessment.  Just to remind you that these tools are there to just assist but it does not necessarily mean true.  Circumstances can change it like counseling sessions and therapeutic hypnosis or gestalt procedure.

First thing to remind you:  not all can interpret what people think or feel so if this was the result of your psychological testing; do not obsess yourself with this results.  Secondly, there is no need to interpret and think of what others feel or having in mind.  Relationship is a two-way process and it always needs to clarify all the words and gestures that need to be communicated so if one interpret it the wrong way it could even be a danger in a relationship.  And this is why one should never interpret one's feelings or idea- instead clarify everything with the other person to make the relationship work.  

Always think that you are at the right time at the right place, that is how we are in the present time.  Loosen up and feel good about yourself; that is by finding your things you like and want.  Then you will be able to find the right relationship and right person for you.  

Never give up and all the best :)

Maia  

Counseling

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Maia

Expertise

I can answer any counseling concern related to coping with stress, emotional imbalance, sibling rivalry, marital relationship, spiritual confusion that affected/affecting and will affect your well-being. I am not the usual "what is in the box!" type of counselor. I am very polite and gentle but direct to help you understand your situation. I also use pastoral technique to help you understand that human needs supernatural power from the source in order to cope with stressors. Please be informed that I am very much welcoming in any questions you would like to ask but PLEASE DON'T BE RUDE in the stating the subject/concern. ANY FOUL LANGUAGE can restrict me to entertain your queries. Thank you very much.

Experience

I am a Counselor with BS Behavioral Sciences degree. I have experienced in counseling both individual and groupd sessions. I have conducted a lot of workshops related to peer counseling and healthy mind body and spirit related topic. I did a couple of thesis counseling session when I used to work in a Medical College. I have been commended for my research work. My passion is to listen and be able to assist anyone who needs problem-solving solution.

Organizations
Psychological Educators' Society (2001-2004)

Education/Credentials
BS Behavioral Sciences Counselor for 5 years Researcher for 2 years Psychometrician for 2 years Adept in counseling, use of psychological testing and administration and interpretation/use e-clectic technique

Awards and Honors
Graduated with Honours (CLINICAL OFFICE ASSISTANT)

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.