Counseling/Suicidal

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Question
I am a 34 years old Indian man who went to study to UK for a period of 2 years. There i shared at house with 4 europeans and 1 indian. But i had an argument with this indian guy and he asked me not to talk with him anymore. We were living in the same house for more than 6 months without talking to each other. I developed a kind of hatred for him and started developing friendship with other european inmates. After 6 months suddenly he said he was sorry and we should be friends again. But i couldn't forgive him and kept ignoring him. I also noticed that some of my relatives living in Uk were also least interested in talking to me or asking me about my well-being. Same thing was true about my family back in india. I became very lonely and started feeling hatred for the indian community. So i found some solace in company of europeans but i started becoming distant from the indians, may it be abroad or in india. I have been carrying this bitterness till now after coming back to india and am not intereted in talking with any one. I committed suicide attempt when i was returning to india because i was worried about my future in india as i had moved away from my culture so much. Now i am not able to get along with people and culture here. So i keep getting suicidal thoughts as i can't hold on to a job or have good relationships. I have been diagonized with bipolar disorder and am receiving medication for the same.
Please advice.

Answer
Hello Prashant. From your description, you may have inherited significant psychological wounds from your family:

http://sfhelp.org/gwc/gwc.htm   http://sfhelp.org/gwc/means.htm

If this is so, you can regain genuine confidence and hope for your future by patiently studying and applying online "lesson 1" here:  http://sfhelp.org/gwc/guide1.htm  This is similar to a college course, so be patient and take your time.

You may also benefit from studying these other online lessons over time:  http://sfhelp.org/site/course.htm

If you have questions about these lessons, please ask.

Prashant, you are a unique, valuable man. I encourage you to believe in yourself and work toward identifying and pursuing your life purpose - Pete  

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Peter Gerlach, MSW

Expertise

I can answer questions about mood disorders, depression, suicide, relationships, communication skills, problem solving, clear thinking, bonding disorders, trauma recovery, addiction management, grieving, shame, guilt, fear, reality distortion, and trust disorders; courtship, family functioning, "problem kids," mediation, (re)marriage, divorce, stepfamilies, stepparenting, boundaries, self-neglect, abuse, parental neglect, personality subselves, ("parts work"). I cannot answer legal or medical questions.

Experience

I maintained a private therapy practice near Chicago for 27 years, and have worked with over 1,000 men, women, couples, and families on a wide range of personal and family problems. I have been in personal recovery from growing up in an alcoholic family since 1986, and have worked with five therapists to heal my own psychological wounds. I maintained a "warm (phone) line" for callers on the topics above for 20 years, and have taught over 200 seminars and classes in midwestern universities, churches, support groups, and schools since 1981. I have practiced internal-family therapy ("parts work") with trauma-recoverers since 1991.

Organizations
National Stepfamily Resource Center (NSRC) Experts Council; SelfGrowth.com Compassion and Choices, and Final Exit Network

Publications
# Several hundred articles in my non-profit "Break the Cycle!" Web site at http://sfhelp.org These articles are augmented by over 150 educational YouTube videos .

# six books on childhood-trauma recovery, effective communication, and stepfamily courtship, coparenting, and management.

Education/Credentials
A bachelors degree in mechanical engineering (BSME, 1959) from Stanford University, a Masters degree in clinical Social Work, (MSW, 1981), and over 500 hours of post-grad training in the topics above - including clinical hypnosis, spirituality, codependence, addicrtion-management, and guided imagery. My post-grad traning includes two 9-month internships on doing internal-family therapy at the University of Illinois.

Awards and Honors
Hundreds of grateful emails and comments from students and clients all over the world.

Past/Present Clients
Over 1,000 average Midwestern-US women, men, couples, and families. A physical disability limits me to doing telephone and Skype counseling now.

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