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Counseling/I'm afraid of what will happen to me


Almost 2 years ago I was raped, I was really just upset with myself that I allowed it to happen. This past year I had a miscarriage and for a while I was remembering a lot about the rape like the details of things and like he was tall and now tall men scare me. I've had a really hard time with the miscarriage, it's been 6 months and I still cry every day, very sad, I cut myself, I've thought a lot about killing myself, I've pushed my family and friends away, my anxiety/panic attacks are a lot worst. I just feel sad and miserable all the time. I know I need help I'm just afraid what will happen to me if I tell my doctor all these things.

Lucy, It's certainly common for women who have been raped to blame themselves; no matter how irrational that may be.  This is not something that you're going to be able to do alone, nor is it something that some guy you've contacted through this forum is going to adequately address except to offer a sense that you're not alone and the possibilities and hope that you don't need to do this alone; others who have gone through similar experiences have gotten help and that help can be effective.  You're absolutely right that you need help and you need to get it yesterday! It makes no sense for you to suffer when good therapists are available. While there's no guarantees, there's every reason to believe that your doctor (if he or she is a good one) will be understanding of your situation and refer you to a therapist that he or she knows and trusts.  The main thing right now is you need to break your silence and begin the process of healing.  Joel  


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Joel Simon


General questions about counseling, psychotherapy and mental health.


Over 30 years as a therapist, clinical supervisor and solution-focused trainer. I've worked in a variety of settings including adolescent day treatment, inpatient psychiatric hospitals, community mental health clinics, and hospice. Further information is available on my website:

A founding member of the Solution Focused Brief Therapy Association, Academy of Certified Social Workers, Board Certified Diplomate in Clinical Social Work, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) in New York State.

Co-authored "Solution-Focused Brief Practice With Long-Term Clients in Mental Health Services: I'm More Than My Label." Authored: "Solution-Focused Practice in End-of-Life and Grief Counseling" Several articles published in professional journals including 2 with Insoo Kim Berg. Further details are available at

Masters of Social Work (Yeshiva University 1978). 5 years training in Transactional Analysis, certified in Advanced Ericksonian Psychotherapy and Hypnosis with the New York Society (NYSEPH), Advanced training and advanced supervision seminar in solution-focused brief therapy with the co-developers of the approach, Insoo Kim Berg and Steve de Shazer

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