I am in my 20's and I have difficulties when it comes to cennecting with people and people have difficulties connecting with me. I am what people Think I'm a kind guy so I guess they don't disslike me or anything like that. I have interesters such as music or just being in beatiful nature environment. There might be a difficulties in places where there are many people since I get a lot of things for my brain to process but that shouldn't be everything since I am not always at place with too much people.
I am also aware that a lot of people don't have great relationships and that isn't very pleasant.
Anyway, do you have any tips on how I can connect better with people and create friendships?

Hi, Andrew:  I think the best way to connect with people is to find others who share your interests and values.  My suggestion is rather than focusing on making friends, focus on engaging in activities that you enjoy and that you can share with others.  For example, since you like nature, how about joining a hiking club, or a bird watching club?  Since you enjoy music, maybe find groups that share your interest.  If you play a musical instrument, how about joining a local community orchestra or band?  I think you probably get the idea.  By finding ways to enjoy and share your interests with others, the friends will eventually come. Finally, remember; you don't need a lot of friends to live a satisfying life.  A few good friends is good enough.  Joel  


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Joel Simon


General questions about counseling, psychotherapy and mental health.


Over 30 years as a therapist, clinical supervisor and solution-focused trainer. I've worked in a variety of settings including adolescent day treatment, inpatient psychiatric hospitals, community mental health clinics, and hospice. Further information is available on my website:

A founding member of the Solution Focused Brief Therapy Association, Academy of Certified Social Workers, Board Certified Diplomate in Clinical Social Work, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) in New York State.

Co-authored "Solution-Focused Brief Practice With Long-Term Clients in Mental Health Services: I'm More Than My Label." Authored: "Solution-Focused Practice in End-of-Life and Grief Counseling" Several articles published in professional journals including 2 with Insoo Kim Berg. Further details are available at

Masters of Social Work (Yeshiva University 1978). 5 years training in Transactional Analysis, certified in Advanced Ericksonian Psychotherapy and Hypnosis with the New York Society (NYSEPH), Advanced training and advanced supervision seminar in solution-focused brief therapy with the co-developers of the approach, Insoo Kim Berg and Steve de Shazer

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