AboutDanielle Spence Expertise I can answer questions on anxiety, depression, homosexuality, suicide, family problems, friend problems, school problems and general problems (parenting, personal problems).
I can`t answer:
Population questions, Why do innocent people suffer?, Questions about the future, drugs, alcohol and politics. (I just have my opinions)
Experience I've been involved in many organizations and have general knowledge in counseling. I have one counseling course and several psychology courses. I am use to counseling friends and people who I don't know. I will keep everything confidential.
Organizations that I've been involved in the past are: Its Teens
Teen Central
Big Brothers Big Sisters
Girl Guides
Vera Perlin Association (disabilities)
The organizations that I'm currently involved in are:
Girl Guides
Vera Perlin Association
I have also been "there" as well in most cases.
I am planning to pursue counseling/ministry.
I recently had a non-question post, which was rather rude along the lines of "do you really think one counseling course makes you feel qualified. I have been reading your responses and you are WAY off. You have to stop this, this is a profession not a lonely hearts club to make you feel good about yourself." They were creative and used name as questioner. Well, a polite answer to this is a simple no. I am doing this to help others, gain more knowledge, etc and I plan on pursuing this field. There is a notice in the disclaimer that not all volunteers are "certified". I am not "running a lonely hearts club to make myself feel good." Everyone has their own opinions and interprets things differently. Some may not like it while others will appreciate it.
Question Hi Danielle,
I am looking for some input please! I am 40 year old, single mother to 5 children ages 15 through 5. My x lives states away and I raise my children all alone. The only help I have is from my parents who live an hour and half south of me. Here is my situation.
I moved from CT to VA 5 years ago. Now that i have my children all in school full time I want to go back to work. I survive on child support only at this time. I want to know I can take care of my children on my own and now that they are getting older (and so am I) I would like to know in the future I can supply money for schooling, driving, etc. In order to do that i need to work. I also need insurance because I currently don't have any. The job market in my area is very depressed. I can get a full time job making 6-8 an hour in my local area. The job market here is worse than the pay.
I have decided that I want to move back north where I can get a job with my skills for at least 45,000 a year if not more, plus benefits. I have been searching in MD, PA, and back in CT where I use to live. I want my children to have better schooling also and would also like a more metro area to raise them. Those are my 3 criteria in my move.
The problem is my parents, who are in their early 70's, they believe that I am making a mistake by moving north. They think I should be moving an hour and half south of where I live now to be closer to them. I don't like the area they live..I don't like the south..and I don't want to move closer to them. I have tried to explain my reasons for wanting to move and they still say I am making a mistake. Seeing as I have no one else in my area to ask to watch my children so I can go on job interviews or look in the areas I would like to move I am trapped because my parents don't agree with my decision so they are refusing to help watch my children, making it impossible for me to do what I need to do. They have said that since they don't agree with my decision that they will not watch the children..period.
I am very upset by this. I am angry. I am sick of being treated like a child. I am sick that they think at my age they have this much power over me. Any relationship that we had is slowly being destroyed! And the more times they refuse to help me..the further away I am pulling from them.
I will add this in here for your knowledge. In the process of looking up north for a job I did meet a wonderful man. We have been dating 3 months now. We have gotten together 3 different times and my job search is now been narrowed down from 3 states to 1. Yes, I am wanting to focus on the area he lives for my move. I look at it like this, I have 3 reasons for my move...better schools, higher paying jobs and better job market, and more metro area with more to do. Now, I have a 4th reason to move to PA..that would be him. If things didn't work out, I still would have met my goals on my move. I am not looking to move in with him..just closer so we can see if our relationship is everything think it is. Now of course my parents are saying it is about HIM and they don't agree with it and they wont watch the kids so I can even go visit him and the area. No matter what..they refuse to help if THEY think what I am doing is wrong.
I am at my wits end. I feel trapped, angry and don't know how to handle this or them! Could you please help me??? I am so desperate! If I could afford a counselor I would be at one NOW!
Thanks for taking the time to read this. I appreciate any help you could offer me!
Sincerely,
Karen
Answer Dear Karen:
Hello, how are you? I hope you are well and all is okay there. Thank you for choosing to write to me. Please feel free to write at anytime. I understand where you are coming from. I think it would be best if you did relocate to PA, at least you will be closer to your boyfriend, the job market is better (from the sound of things), and it would be less complicated. I am sorry to hear that you parents are not in favor of this. I do understand thtat you really don't want to move closer to them and that they are driving you away. I think all parents, regardless of age tend to try to intrude. There are times that mine make me mad then I keep reminding them that I am 25. Please do what you want to do and do not let anyone get in your way. So sorry to hear that your parents won't watch your kids for you to visit him :s May I suggest to try to talk with them about the situation. I mean to tell them that they are treating you like a kid and you would appreciate it if you can make your own decisions, etc. (Somehow say this because what I just said sounds saucy and I appologize for that). My input to you is relocate to PA and start a new life there with your kids and your boyfriend. I strongly believe that it would be for the better. What do you think? I am sorry if this is not much help. However, please feel free to write at anytime and I will do what I can. Take Care
