AboutDanielle Spence Expertise I can answer questions on anxiety, depression, homosexuality, suicide, family problems, friend problems, school problems and general problems (parenting, personal problems).
I can`t answer:
Population questions, Why do innocent people suffer?, Questions about the future, drugs, alcohol and politics. (I just have my opinions)
Experience I've been involved in many organizations and have general knowledge in counseling. I have one counseling course and several psychology courses. I am use to counseling friends and people who I don't know. I will keep everything confidential.
Organizations that I've been involved in the past are: Its Teens
Teen Central
Big Brothers Big Sisters
Girl Guides
Vera Perlin Association (disabilities)
The organizations that I'm currently involved in are:
Girl Guides
Vera Perlin Association
I have also been "there" as well in most cases.
I am planning to pursue counseling/ministry.
I recently had a non-question post, which was rather rude along the lines of "do you really think one counseling course makes you feel qualified. I have been reading your responses and you are WAY off. You have to stop this, this is a profession not a lonely hearts club to make you feel good about yourself." They were creative and used name as questioner. Well, a polite answer to this is a simple no. I am doing this to help others, gain more knowledge, etc and I plan on pursuing this field. There is a notice in the disclaimer that not all volunteers are "certified". I am not "running a lonely hearts club to make myself feel good." Everyone has their own opinions and interprets things differently. Some may not like it while others will appreciate it.
Question Hello, I was wondering if you could give me your insight/advice. I’m 22 and am pretty reasonable and live with my younger sister and a roommate, who is my dearest and closest friend. I’ve leaded a pretty good life but have had some very hard times. My mother left when I was young and then my father who raised us ended up raping me when I was older. Basically during a two-year trail I started cutting myself and now know what a habit that can become. I also know my close friend does it as well. We are working on it and her and I am pretty open with each other. We don’t like it and are trying to get help. We have talked a lot and know it is not the best way of handling stress at all and in our society it is very much looked down upon. When you hear it most people think physo right away which I know is not the case. Anyways we were talking and we know it is bad for the fact that it is not the healthiest way of handling stress and because in our society we hear that it is physo as well. But in the end it does calm us down and then once we calm down we can usually work out our problems better. We are not trying to kill ourselves nor would it ever come to that. We are not hurting anyone else and if we are careful we are not really causing ourselves that much harm. Anyways we were talking and started questioning this and was wondering what someone else had to say to see if they could maybe point out something we don’t understand. I don’t want you to think we are always doing this and usually can handle things pretty well. It is just every once in a while when we get overwhelmed. Her and I talked though to each other and being pretty opened has prevented me from doing it a lot and has helped. I also do understand the health risk of doing it but beside that why is it really so bad? Any thoughts? We even talked about maybe seeing someone but I don’t have insurance.
Answer Hello Angela:
How are you today? I hope you're well and all is well. Thank you for choosing to write to me about your situation. I fully understand where you are coming from. I am very sorry to hear that your mother left and that your father raped you when you were older. I am glad to hear that you, your younger sister and roomate are living together.
How do you and your close friend deal with stress? Some tips that may help you are: Humour, Hobbies, Meditation, Biofeedback and massage therapy. It discourages medications as it does not solve, it just temporarily covers a condition. I believe that what this link covers is very important and everyone should add some of these or all (except for biofeedback) in their daily lives. :) Which can be found here: http://www.ehealthmd.com/library/stress/STR_manage.html
A great book is Self Coaching, how to heal anxiety and depression . If you like I can give you more details.
I understand how you both would like to see someone but how you have no insurance. I am sure that you both can get through it with each others support.
Some tips to stop cutting:
1) Write in a "feeling" journal:
Write down all of your feelings and closing the book. This technique allows you to get
everything out of your head and move on from those feelings.
2) Snapping an Elastic Band:
Put an elastic band around your wrist and snap it every time you have the urge to cut.
When those urges begin to lessen, stop using the band.
3) Physical Exercise:
Getting out your feelings through exercise not only helps you get exercise but it really does release a lot of
tension or feelings you are having. Activities like kickboxing, running, and aerobics are good.
4) Be Creative:
Write, take pictures, paint, draw, or compose music: these are all great ways to release frustrations
and be creative at the same time.
5) Get Mad:
Punch or scream into a pillow, scream or yell: these are a great way to release anger while not hurting yourself.
6) Talk:
Talk to others about what is happening in your life. (like you are doing already)
Cutting is not bad, it is for releasing anger, frustration and so forth. I also understand that society looks down on it and I think they need to consider those who do cut and understand why and reach out to them. I totally agree with you.
I know you and your friend can do this. Thank you for writing, it must have took a lot of courage but I hope you feel much better and I hope you feel much better after reading my response. Please know that there is always a way to solve a problem and as the saying goes "Where there is a will, there is a way". :)
Please feel free to write to me at anytime or even feel free to e-mail me, therose_dds@hotmail.com . Take care and hope to hear from you.
Kind Regards,
Danielle
"Even when you can't feel deep in your heart any words of encouragement, just believe in your dream and your heart will finally show you the way."
