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Counseling/Questions Answered by Expert Patricia A. Schafer, Ph.D.
| Subject | Date Asked |
| HELPING 14 YR OLD GRANDSON | 4/30/2012 |
| Q: We are seventy years old. I had custody of my grandson for years , on and off, due to my daughter's ... A: It is very difficult what you are going through. Not being able to influence your grandson is ... | |
| Depression | 4/12/2012 |
| Q: I have had mild depression(What my psychologist calls dysthymic depression) and moderate to severe ... A: Sorry I have not answered right away. I had a busy few days and have not checked my email. First, ... | |
| borderline depressed | 4/7/2012 |
| Q: I am male, 53. I suffer from adult A.D.D.,(I am on Wellbutrin) sleep apnea, I.B.S., osteo arthritis ... A: You have ADD and that usually means you are active. However, since you sound unmotivated, I am ... | |
| LEGAL HIGHS | 11/5/2011 |
| Q: I stopped my meds about a week ago - my doctor gave me it for psychosis - but I don't think I have ... A: Every body's bodies are different. You don't know how they are going to react to drugs. Some drugs ... | |
| my mother | 10/29/2011 |
| Q: My mother passed away three years ago from cancer. She was the only person who truly loved me and ... A: I am sorry to hear about your depress and anxiety, and also how you feel about yourself. You are ... | |
| Cutting ties with a toxic mother | 10/28/2011 |
| Q: Almost 2 years ago I cut ties with my mother after long and deep thought on my part. Growing up our ... A: It is wise to ignore them because they do not know how it feels to be in your position. They do not ... | |
| Cutting ties with a toxic mother | 10/26/2011 |
| Q: Almost 2 years ago I cut ties with my mother after long and deep thought on my part. Growing up our ... A: You have been doing the right thing by cutting ties from a very sick woman who will not get help. ... | |
| I know I need help but Im not sure what to do. | 10/5/2011 |
| Q: I'm a 33 year old female.Im married to a wonderful man and have much to be grateful for.Ive been in ... A: I am sorry you have been through so much in your childhood and young adult years. Also, I feel you ... | |
| attachments | 9/28/2011 |
| Q: I have a very silly problem that I'm hoping you can help me with. I seem to become very strongly ... A: Your question is not ridiculous. You are not a bad parent. There are a couple of things to think ... | |
| My girlfriend's abusive ex?! | 8/17/2011 |
| Q: Okay, well I’m 17, and my girlfriend Melanie is 18 (and yes, we’re lesbians. If you don’t like that, ... A: When a person has low self-esteem they may also have a negative body image. You can help her by ... | |
| Brothers problem | 7/2/2011 |
| Q: I just need to talk with someone so regarding that you have experiance in this i will try to write ... A: You stated your brother has been on weed for many years. You ask "is this effecting." The answer is ... | |
| Disability Issues | 2/21/2011 |
| Q: Schafer, I found your name at the bottom of a letter to allexperts.com about, "Can one be FORCED ... A: Yes, I am the one you are looking for. A group called: ALSUP (not sure of spelling) was hired by ... | |
| question about my brain | 2/18/2011 |
| Q: i am 50 years old this month. I have been in intensive therapy for the last 5 years. I was adopted ... A: Congrats on being clean and sober for 15 years. Are you active in AA and have a sponsor? If so, ... | |
| ocd | 2/6/2011 |
| Q: My name is Raj and i am a Hindu, my question is related to a problem i have been suffering for some ... A: God is a God of love. God knows what is in your heart, mind and soul and what you are struggling ... | |
| Anger toward mother | 1/13/2011 |
| Q: I'm wondering how a daughter might react, when the mother she was so upset with for 12 years, and ... A: It is hard to predict how the daughter might react. The daughter could have been carrying anger for ... | |
| borderline coworker | 7/4/2010 |
| Q: I'm writing to get info on borderline ie to see if my coworker might be. I know you have to meet her ... A: It sounds more like paranoia than Borderline Personality Disorder, but she does need to be ... | |
| my friend | 6/28/2010 |
| Q: A friend of mine (49) divorced called me yesterday up to tell me he was really worried because his ... A: Your divorced friend who is worried about his last "lover" needs to look at himself and what type of ... | |
| biological father | 6/20/2010 |
| Q: I have met my biological father.We had a wonderful visit and many phone conversations but when i ... A: You stated that you have met your biological father and you had a wonderful visit plus many phone ... | |
| cutting mostly | 4/30/2010 |
| Q: Pat, I wrote you earlier this year and talked about how I was cutting and burning myself and was ... A: I am glad to hear from you again and that things have improved. Also, I am glad you told your ... | |
| marrying and leaving parents | 4/29/2010 |
| Q: I want to marry a great woman who lives in another state. She has 2 kids and an excellent job and ... A: No, you are not being selfish by wanting to move and be with your wife to be and her family. If your ... | |
| Can counseling help me? | 4/28/2010 |
| Q: I’m a recently married 44 year old male. I married this woman a year ago but we have been living ... A: Yes, get help. You have to STOP yourself so get the professional help you need to stop your mind ... | |
| Overprotective mom -- at 20. | 4/26/2010 |
| Q: I'm a 20-year old full-time student, and I am writing because I am at my wit's end with my mother. I ... A: Your counselor is right for you to move out. Your mom is a very sick woman who is not getting ... | |
| questions | 4/1/2010 |
| Q: 1.What brought you to want to be a psychologist? 2.How much schooling did it take to get to where ... A: To answer your firstI got my BS in Psychology at the Univ of Pittsburgh and knew you cannot do ... | |
| swine flu | 3/31/2010 |
| Q: i just got swine flu vaccine. how long the swine flu vaccine can protect me? whole life?i wonder ... A: The swine flu vaccine is for this year only; it cannot protect you for life because different ... | |
| Too many things wrong | 2/24/2010 |
| Q: My name is Shelly. I am no longer living with my mother the hoarder. I do however want to help her ... A: Your mom has a mental illness that needs professional help for her. While your intentions are good, ... | |
| adhd | 2/22/2010 |
| Q: Hey my name is Sarah. I'm 21 and recently diagnosed with ADHD. I started taking medication about 6 ... A: First of all, I am so glad your grades have picked up with the help of medication. So, that is ... | |
| Fear after Loss | 2/18/2010 |
| Q: Dr. Schafer, I am writing hoping that I can get some advice. I lost my sister to an unexpected car ... A: To answer your question about this being a "normal reaction" - I would say it is a "common" reaction ... | |
| possible depression? | 1/12/2010 |
| Q: I recently was made redundant at work. I had a good job but no more. Ever since my last day I've ... A: Did this depression hit you before you lost your job? If no and you never had experienced ... | |
| question about myself | 1/11/2010 |
| Q: i just wanna ask this question coz its been bothering me.. i was suffering from depression now and ... A: Have you ever asked yourself these questions before (why am I me? ...alive?). These are fundamental ... | |
| boredom | 1/9/2010 |
| Q: Pat I am a 55 year old guy. My wife thinks I have S.A.D. I live in Canada and spend most of mfree ... A: Sounds like you may have a bit of SAD. When you have SAD it is hard to do things in the winter time ... | |
| hurting | 1/8/2010 |
| Q: I hurt myself. Cutting mostly. Burning sometimes. I hit my wrist against something hard or I hit my ... A: I am sorry you are suffering with self-cutting. It is not easy to break it. I think finding an ... | |
| Ref: question | 1/6/2010 |
| Q: Is there a book or books that one can read that gives questions and insights into deciphering ... A: No, there is no quick way. But, what I have learned as a therapist to help give me quick possible ... | |
| Worried I am in a prodrome state | 10/23/2009 |
| Q: Worried I am in a prodromal state Hello Thanks for answering my question in advance. I am ... A: Sounds like you have been suffering severely with forms of mood disorders. Also, check with your ... | |
| job change fear | 10/22/2009 |
| Q: sir,i am working as bdm in animation skool,and i am having 7yrs experience in sales,i have worked ... A: When applying for a new job, ask how much training do they give you to adjust to the new job? Their ... | |
| New therapist | 9/6/2009 |
| Q: Recently my therapist of 8 years disappeared, without notice. I am looking for a new therapist, but ... A: Sorry to hear about you therapist of 8 years disappeared without notice. It is very hard to start ... | |
| Estranged Children | 9/5/2009 |
| Q: My kids dont seem to care about me anymore havent seen my Grand Children for at least 9 months They ... A: I am sorry to hear about your kids not seeming to care and you have not seen the grandchildren. I ... | |
| i need help | 9/2/2009 |
| Q: I am a 18 year old female expecting in march. Me and the father of my child recently broke up ... A: Yes, it is wrong to make up a story that you were messing around with someone else. Just be the way ... | |
| Follow up | 8/29/2009 |
| Q: I have one more day left to go meet with my site manager. My Alleged point of contact sent a paper ... A: If you feel more comfortable waiting to verbally discuss Boshnaq, then do so. However, I would still ... | |
| Q | 8/28/2009 |
| Q: I have one more day left to go meet with my site manager. My Alleged point of contact sent a paper ... A: I am glad you are putting things in writing and your letter above looks very good and well thought ... | |
| coumselling | 8/24/2009 |
| Q: What attracts you to the field of counseling & human rights?? A: I like helping people. I think with the high costs of medical insurance in our country and many ... | |
| Should I tell my Psychologist | 8/6/2009 |
| Q: I've been seeing my psychologist for nearly a year - I really like her and she's really helping. ... A: I think it would be very wise to tell her your feelings. The main reason is that your feelings for ... | |
| whats wrong | 7/4/2009 |
| Q: Im 17 and i eat 24/7. Ive already gained 40 pounds since January. I just started smoking again. I ... A: It is hard to predict what is wrong. It is possible you may have an eating disorder, depression, ... | |
| Mother in Law | 6/10/2009 |
| Q: I have been married for 14 years and in that time my husband has stopped talking to his mother and ... A: I really don't think that your husband blaming his mother is the reason why you two do not have ... | |
| my boyfriend | 5/27/2009 |
| Q: ok, me and my bf have been dating for a few months now. He is a smart guy, goes to a well educated ... A: Hope the following thoughts help you. Does your boyfriend tend to yell at you after he has had a ... | |
| worst year ever | 5/19/2009 |
| Q: First in January i lost my youtube account, (my fault but still sucked) i had it for 4 years, i am ... A: I am sorry to hear about all of the loses you have had. In fact, I think that you are going through ... | |
| self harm and therapy | 5/18/2009 |
| Q: I have been in therapy for a little over a year. The reason for going to therapy was because of how ... A: Sorry to hear you are still feel sad and you are still having some difficulty with self-harming. ... | |
| Coping with a car crash | 5/15/2009 |
| Q: I hope I've posted this is the right place and that you can assist me. I was in a bad car crash a ... A: I am sorry to hear about the accident and the guilt you feel. You stated you were "almost ... | |
| sexual abuse | 4/8/2009 |
| Q: i am now 27, and i cant let go of what happened to me when i was a little girl. mostly i feel ... A: I am so sorry all of those things have happened to you. I wish I could answer your question "why ... | |
| Help needed. | 3/16/2009 |
| Q: I hope this is a situation you can help me with. I am a 31 year old woman, about to turn 32, and ... A: You ask "Why am I so in love with a person who doesn't even exist?" I think you are in love with an ... | |
| difficulty in therapy | 2/17/2009 |
| Q: I have been in therapy for a while. About 10 months. I have a great therapist but I do have trouble ... A: Because you have a long history of abuse (5-13), plus being sexually assaulted twice as an adult, it ... | |
| Bored with Life | 2/16/2009 |
| Q: I have been battling depression for a few years now, I think. It's never severe, always mild and ... A: There is so much going on in your life. Fist thing I thought of when you said you "used to be a ... | |
| guilt,depression,anxiety | 2/13/2009 |
| Q: I think i am having a problem with determination,and proposing what to do.I can not propose,and be ... A: It does sound like you are suffering from depression due to lack of motivation to do things and loss ... | |
| Am I straight or not? | 1/19/2009 |
| Q: I'm 13.I'm a girl.I don't know if I am attracted to girls.I couldn't really imagine being in a ... A: Having sexual thoughts, all kinds, at age 13 is very, very normal. It is what you do with those ... | |
| Confused | 12/27/2008 |
| Q: I have OCD, well that's what I've been told by a few nurses and psychologists, but I'm not sure - I ... A: Having suicidal thoughts is very serious. Having feelings that things just are not real is very ... | |
| Mental health | 12/24/2008 |
| Q: I am 21 year old male in college and I have no friends/social life. I work at a job doing manual ... A: I think you already know where the anger is coming from, that is how you have been treated in the ... | |
| problem accompanied | 12/22/2008 |
| Q: 1-there is a phenomena I feeling during my past experiments in live , when I made an any ... A: Feelings of being preyed upon by some people could be a insecurity within you due to past ... | |
| trauma | 12/19/2008 |
| Q: There are some things in life that are inevitable. For example pet loss. Is pet loss considered a ... A: A trauma is how it affects the individual. For example, if you were a 25 year old young man, who's ... | |
| Relationships | 12/13/2008 |
| Q: I hate that my brother likes my friend and my friend likes her back. He lives 700 miles away but ... A: What can you do? Well, the hard thing to do is absolutely nothing. You cannot control the actions ... | |
| OCD | 11/19/2008 |
| Q: I'm not sure how to go about this. I've been doing a lot of research lately on OCD and i'm pretty ... A: When you are reading about symptoms of OCD, make a check off list of your symptoms or print out a ... | |
| disconnectedness with others | 8/30/2008 |
| Q: I am looking for answers to why I haven't ever really connected to others in any kind of intimate ... A: Have you been diagnosed for depression? Depressional can easily cause feelings of disconnectedness. ... | |
| disconnectedness with others | 8/29/2008 |
| Q: I am looking for answers to why I haven't ever really connected to others in any kind of intimate ... A: Children growing up in a very dysfunctional home, such as parents who drank heavily, are seriously ... | |
| counseling | 8/19/2008 |
| Q: just recently diagnoses with: social phonia-anxiety, major depression & schizoid personality. so, i ... A: Sorry to hear about your anxieties, etc. Social phobia, anxieties, major depression and schizoid ... | |
| not going to cut | 7/11/2008 |
| Q: I am a senior psychology major currently doing an awesome internship in a hospital outpatient mental ... A: I would start to call Behavioral Health clinics at hospitals or mental health clinics and ask if ... | |
| my daughter | 5/11/2008 |
| Q: we have gotten ourselves into an awful situation. my daughter is almost 13. soon after she was born ... A: Kids like plain honesty. You can sit down with her - make sure you two have quiet time and are alone ... | |
| psy medicine which do not affect weight gain and diabetes | 2/18/2008 |
| Q: sir age 48,weight 100 kg,height 5.7,indian guj mail. our family is under creation of harresment ... A: Guj: I am sorry to hear your family is under so much pressure and you are getting unwanted ... | |
| trying to peice it together... | 1/27/2008 |
| Q: I am trying, for my own self knowledge, to understand my past, in particularly my mother. I don't ... A: Your mother has been through a lot and it sounds like a lot of brain chemistry has gone awry. That ... | |
| i feel i am being mistreated | 1/11/2008 |
| Q: I got into an arguement with my aunt and the next day she calls DHS on me and gets my daughter ... A: Is there a legal aid service in your community? They may be ablet to move the court date up for you ... | |
| Counseling Statistics/Demographics/Demand | 1/9/2008 |
| Q: I have been thinking of working towards a Masters Degree in Counseling or Counseling Psychology. The ... A: Here is what I know from experience: When going for a Master's in Counseling, make sure the ... | |
| REhashing | 12/10/2007 |
| Q: Can you suggest a technique to help me stop mentally rehashing something? On Jan 4 2007 I suffered ... A: Sounds like you worked through a lot and are pretty strong for only a year away from the incident. ... | |
| help me... | 11/4/2007 |
| Q: My name is Jessica and I'm seventeen. I don't know where to start this... I just wanted somebody ... A: You really have had it hard, not only with the disorders that affect you, yet through the eyes of ... | |
| Counselling | 10/23/2007 |
| Q: I am studying counselling and am doing a project on Art Therapy I am client centred and am using ... A: I cannot help you much, only with one suggestion. Since I did not major in art therapy, but I have ... | |
| quitting piano lessons | 8/1/2007 |
| Q: My granddaughter has been taking piano lessons for about five years now. She is 13 and and getting ... A: I agree with you and your son. Her mom sounds a bit controlling wanting her to take "lessons until ... | |
| ex-husband drinking child visitation | 7/31/2007 |
| Q: I have had previous difficulty with my ex-husband drinking heavily while exercising visitation with ... A: It is good you have taken away visitation rights. I cannot decide about how many AA meetings he ... | |
| words that hurt | 7/30/2007 |
| Q: someone I love was having a procedure done that I had heard from several people could be quite ... A: Letting go of words that hurt is hard. So, just rethink the words she told you and ask yourself why ... | |
| Please advice | 7/25/2007 |
| Q: I am 28 yr single virgin physically but not mentally, i am getting addicted to CFNM site ... A: I think you may need to see a specialist in human sexuality. That is, you are not a sexual deviant ... | |
| What do we tell our children? | 7/20/2007 |
| Q: My Fiance has two children, ages seven and four and a half. Their mother slit her wrists recently ... A: Yes, a family therapy session would be great, but, talk to the therapist first about why you need ... | |
| Reporting Obligation | 6/27/2007 |
| Q: It's my understanding that if a counselor hears from a client about physical or sexual abuse, they ... A: Situations that counselors are required to report, and thus break confidentiality between them and ... | |
| worry about career | 6/5/2007 |
| Q: I am married & I am doing job. I have 7 years job experience. I am staying in joint family with my ... A: Many cultures believe that the woman does all the work at home and the man just sits and waits for ... | |
| hurting and correlations | 5/23/2007 |
| Q: My girlfriend (23) was compared disfavorably to other women and cheated on by a series of boyfriends ... A: Sounds like your girlfriend, Laci, may have a OCD - obsessive compulsive disorder. It may have ... | |
| Mother in law ruining my marriage | 5/3/2007 |
| Q: I have a major problem that is causing me stress and heart ache in my life. It is my mother-in-law. ... A: Your husband may benefit from marriage counseling when he hears the therapist, and I suggest a male ... | |
| need counseling but have no money | 2/20/2007 |
| Q: I just found out yesterday that my boyfriend of three years has been lying to me (and others) for ... A: Check and see if you have a Free Clinic and also call 211 or 411, am not sure at the moment but it ... | |
| Tired | 2/14/2007 |
| Q: I suffer from depression and anxiety. It's been a problem most of my life but I coped somehow. I had ... A: Sounds like you might be on Paxil and you just gave yourself that nickname - a sense of humor ... | |
| kristen's fears | 1/19/2007 |
| Q: my name is Kristen. I am writing because I have been told I have borderline personality disorder. ... A: You have written out so well your sufferings with BPD. Many people do not understand how someone ... | |
| Getting better without meds | 1/8/2007 |
| Q: I am currently in counseling and really like my counselor a lot. I came to him having panic attacks ... A: Everyone is different and many people do not experience side affects from antidepressants, if they ... | |
| Estranged Adult Children | 12/27/2006 |
| Q: We need help and advice in coping with two audlt children. They are in their late twenties, a boy ... A: Your children are adults and off on their own. The sad thing is - is that you cannot force a ... | |
| improving myself | 12/22/2006 |
| Q: I am writing regarding two problems that I have, and it is my desire to achieve these goals soon, so ... A: Your talking is like the opposite of social anxiety. Do you think you talk a lot because you want ... | |
| help my marriage - help me understand | 12/20/2006 |
| Q: My husband has been having problems with my past lately. He says that all he can do / picture in ... A: The therapist you called does not sound very well educated in obsessive thoughts. What the ... | |
| situation | 9/24/2006 |
| Q: I seem to be having some difficulty in managing things. I feel tt's a complicated situation that i ... A: You sound like you are in a very complex situation because you cannot pinpoint what to do or where ... | |
| Re-occuring Dream | 9/3/2006 |
| Q: I have had this little re-occuring dream for as long as I could remember, since I was a small child, ... A: Recurring dreams may be telling you something by way of the emotion you are feeling in the dream. ... | |
| hello | 9/1/2006 |
| Q: i spent most of the summer working and didnt see hardly any of my classmates, jsut a few friends ... A: Congrats - a senior!! You made it this far - keep on going!!! YOu think people will ask you where ... | |
| Re: confusions | 8/21/2006 |
| Q: I left my ex-boyfriend in NJ and moved here to florida. Reasons because a lot of drama was going on ... A: You have answered your own question with the words about going back to him: "I don't think it's ... | |
| would like some help | 8/19/2006 |
| Q: I would like to first thank you and everybody for this service. It is really an amazing idea and a ... A: You are feeling so overwhelmed with things and you do need to talk it out with a professional. If ... | |
| Telling my son "daddy" is not his bilogical father | 5/28/2006 |
| Q: My friend is 25 and her fiance is 30. They will be married when she has completed her university to ... A: That is a delicate situation. The child is old enough to understand that there can by two types of ... | |
| Midlife Crisis? | 4/23/2006 |
| Q: I will be 40 in a few months. I am going thru a divorce that will be final in a few weeks. I have a ... A: I know what you are going through - I just turned 60 and I don't look it, but I've always looked ... | |
| Family Rights and HIPAA | 4/17/2006 |
| Q: Three days ago it appears my 52 year old dad had a "nervous breakdown". He has no prior history of ... A: Wow - what a mess! I have not had to deal with such an issue. I would check with the police ... | |
| y is it important for my 1... | 4/12/2006 |
| Q: y is it important for my 1 year old daughter to ahve a relationship with her father who i am ... A: First, lets look at your question from the "legal" aspect. Have the courts required you let her see ... | |
| suicide | 3/14/2006 |
| Q: Followup To Question - I have tried to sort things out. Tried to understand why I feel the way I ... A: I would like to know some other things about you. How old are you and are you in school or working? ... | |
| suicide | 3/13/2006 |
| Q: Followup To Question - I have tried to sort things out. Tried to understand why I feel the way I ... A: You are right, it did take courage for you to call. What happens when one is depressed, bipolar, ... | |
| releive uneasiness | 2/24/2006 |
| Q: actually i have lot of faith in god there are many times in our life when we are in confusion we ... A: Have you ever read any of Mahama Ghandi's writings? I think that might help you to understand God's ... | |
| releive uneasiness | 2/23/2006 |
| Q: ur advice was really good i am a hindu but still i beleive in christianity i do read new testament ... A: You ask such good questions. There is a book entitled: Ten mistakes Christians make" Ten Lies ... | |
| releive uneasiness | 2/22/2006 |
| Q: i am of age 21 i like a person i don't know whether he likes me or not we stay in diffrent cities ... A: Yes, God likes you and hears you. God is everywhere even out there in cyberspace. Maybe God has ... | |
| behavior of another therapist | 1/9/2006 |
| Q: I did confront him with the issue in an email and he responded. This is what I wanted your opinion ... A: Feel free to send me the therapists response. Also, let me know the credentials and how many years ... | |
| behavior of another therapist | 1/7/2006 |
| Q: Would you consider giving your opinion on a scenario between a therapist and patient that I feel is ... A: Trust your "gut". If you want to give the therapist another chance tell him/her something to the ... | |
| murder | 12/4/2005 |
| Q: I have had thoughts about killing some person. Not a specific person I can pinpoint, and I wish to ... A: Wow - you sure are suffering with such horrible thoughts. This feels urgent to you because it IS ... | |
| From a psychological perspective... | 11/2/2005 |
| Q: From a psychological perspective Does everything happen for a reason? A: From a "psychological" perspective, the word "everything" would encompass EVERYTHING that happens ... | |
| Mental condition . | 10/23/2005 |
| Q: Respetable Expert! I am 75 years old. I have no more sex vigour.I am depressed to ... A: I am sorry that this is not my area. But, I can suggest going to the library and look up books by ... | |
| What does it mean to accept... | 10/13/2005 |
| Q: What does it mean to accept the past and how is it done? A: Good question. First of all, "acceptance" does not mean "approval." If you had something in your ... | |
| how to broach a topic | 8/29/2005 |
| Q: Part of my conundrum is that the teacher makes extra hard detailed tests and he always tells a few ... A: I would directly ask him: "Is this all you have to give me or do you have some more?" If he said ... | |
| how to broach a topic | 8/28/2005 |
| Q: I hope I'm finding you in the best of health. I'm hoping that if I tell you my situation, you could ... A: Okay, this note collecting I would not depend upon even if it is from your cousin - who sounds ... | |
| career advice | 8/23/2005 |
| Q: S in human services and want to be a counselor specializing in drug addictions.I have an oppurtunity ... A: Congrats on the job. Your clinic should have assessment tools right there for you to use to get you ... | |
| Lonely,shy | 8/17/2005 |
| Q: How does a lonely single man of 54 find a good women ? for even just to be friends? I am a non ... A: There are some dating services that are "legal" and sincerely try to match people up. One is a ... | |
| Dealing with spouses old rape memories | 8/16/2005 |
| Q: I am in the Navy deployed for another 5 months. I have nobody to talk to. My wife and I have ... A: It is sad about your wife being raped/physically abused so many times. Being raped does take away ... | |
| Counseling | 7/24/2005 |
| Q: How do counselors help people in general? A: I can answer how Professional Clinical Counselors help people in general from my own work ... | |
| dealing with issues after abuse | 7/14/2005 |
| Q: I was in a very volatile marriage for 11 years; Physical and mental abuse on a regular basis by an ... A: Well, there are two things to do when seeking jobs and they question your variety of jobs: 1. Be ... | |
| Hi, Thank you for your advice... | 7/7/2005 |
| Q: it was such a good answer i thought you might be able to help me with another question. i used to ... A: It sounds like "stinkin thinking" is setting in and you are contemplating using again. Get to ... | |
| Hi, i was wondering if... | 7/6/2005 |
| Q: i was wondering if you had advice on how i can accept myself more. i'm bipolar, and i have some ... A: Knowing what "flaws" you have is a big step and you have accomplished that. The next big step is how ... | |
| friend | 7/5/2005 |
| Q: I am a young women of 35 very nice looking and a good person. Yet I am still single And because of ... A: Susan: The man has deep emotional problems which show he is also emotionally unstable (crying, ... | |
| Post-vacation depression | 6/22/2005 |
| Q: kindly. Perhaps you will permit me another observation: When I was on vacationing in Maui recently, ... A: I like your word "disconnect" - that that is what vacations are for. Yes, I agree cell phones are ... | |
| Post-vacation depression | 6/21/2005 |
| Q: Schafer, I am not sure if you can help me with this. I am writing an article about the deptression ... A: I've never heard of a clinical name for that type of depression. All I can think of his like the ... | |
| Lonely | 6/19/2005 |
| Q: Is there any hope for me at 54? I am single white and a male I am a little on thin size don't ... A: Sounds like you are lonely and want companionship. I've seen eharmony.com and that might be another ... | |
| help | 6/9/2005 |
| Q: How do yo know if it is bi-polar or not?I am 45 years old and am truly suffering. I've been married ... A: Bi-polar. Bi - think of two. Up and Down. Mood swings either up or down; can change overnight or ... | |
| help | 6/7/2005 |
| Q: I am 45 years old and am truly suffering. I've been married since 1985 to my college sweetheart and ... A: Sounds like you may be going through early signs of menopause, but I am not sure. To be sure if any ... | |
| Counseling | 5/19/2005 |
| Q: I have been a therapist for almost 22 years, have a very simalar client/treatment focus. I am ... A: I think striking out on ones own is different for everyone. THere are books on counseling and ... | |
| sexual fetish vs sexual violence | 3/20/2005 |
| Q: Im considering starting an 'amature fetish' adult site. Everything is consentual and legal. In ... A: First of all, you are not going to like how I am going to respond. Sounds like you are looking for ... | |
| loneliness | 2/22/2005 |
| Q: Problems: extreme loneliness and depressions Reasons:1)rejections from people 2)unable to ... A: Coming from a different culture does make differences that at many times neither side really ... | |
| telling is... | 1/19/2005 |
| Q: I want to know in other words the meaning of"telling is risky bussines" a book based on the stigma ... A: Ola Antonio: "Telling is a risky business" depends upon who and where you are at the time. For ... | |
| overly shy and anxious child | 11/23/2004 |
| Q: my daughter is 3 1/2 years old and has been attending day school for about 6 months now on a part ... A: 3 - 1/2 - she may not be ready for the "social" scene at her age. Yes, take her out of day care for ... | |
| career goals | 10/5/2004 |
| Q: I'm presently hold a BSN degree. I have been considering returning to school for some time, but ... A: My major for undergrad was Psychology - I received a Bachelor of Science from U. of Pittsburgh; My ... | |
| what is wrong with me? | 8/19/2004 |
| Q: I'm 18 years old and there's something wrong with me...at this moment i don't have insurance to see ... A: Yes - it sounds like something is seriously going on with your brain chemistry and it is probably an ... | |
| Ive been seeing a therapist... | 7/6/2004 |
| Q: Ive been seeing a therapist for a year and there has been a bit of change but not to the point i ... A: I suggest you go back to your previous therapist or find someone else. If the therapist is "feeling ... | |
| Helping my husband | 3/5/2004 |
| Q: When I was first dating my husband in the 90's I was shown a family tape while visiting. I noticed ... A: Ann: Growing up in alcoholism is extremely tough on the whole family. THe 73 yer old father, ... | |
| Letting go of my growing children | 7/30/2003 |
| Q: Brief background: I'm a 48 year old female. At age 24 I was widowed from 1st husband (he was ... A: You explained your feels so well that I feel you have answered your own question about fears. It ... | |
Counseling
Answers by Expert:
Patricia A. Schafer, Ph.D.
Top Expert on this page
Expertise
I specialize in various forms of depression and Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and also stress, phobias, life changes, grief, women's issues, men's issues, etc. My licenses are: Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor -Supervisor(LPCC-S) and Licensed Professional Chemical Dependency Counselor (LICDC) in the state of Ohio and a National Certified Counselor (NCC).
Experience
12 years experience. I counsel substance abusers, families of alcoholics/drug addictions, and codependency issues. I also specialize in social phobia; stress; anxieties; women`s issues; grief and adjustments to life changes. Some therapeutic techniques used are: CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), DBT (Dialectical Behaviorial Therapy)REBT (Rational Emotive), SFT (Solution Focused) and 12-Step, etc. If you live in the Cleveland area, you can contact me at my office for an appointment at: 440-349-4521. I am on various insurance panels and EAP programs.
Organizations
ACA, OCA, NCOCA, OMHCA
Publications
Experiences of prejudice among individuals in African American and Caucasian Interracial Marriages: A Q-methodological Study (Doctoral Dissertation - December 2008;
Wilsnack and Beckman's book: Alcohol Problems in Women (1984). Alcohol use and marital violence: Female and Male Differences in reactions to alcohol(pages 260-279.
Education/Credentials
Ph.D. In counseling
MA In Counseling
BS In Psychology
Awards and Honors
Previous president of NCOCA (North Central Ohio Counseling Association); previous president of Chi Sigma Iota. Two years VISTA volunteer on Navajo reservation in Inscription House and Shonto.
Past/Present Clients
Do to HIPAA privacy laws, I do not release any info about my client.
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