Expert: Philip Sweeting - 9/25/2006

Question
i have resently pressed charges of assult on my ex boyfriend for hitting me and i want to drop the charges because i do not feel right about it. i did not lie about anything just want this to be over with. i no longer want to be with him, i just want this over. can you please tell me if i can dropped the chrges and how?
thank you very much,
elizabeth

Answer
Even though you are the victim, in any crime it is the state that prosecutes and it is the prosecutor/state attorney in your area who is responsible for making the decision to go forward and charge someone OR dropping the charges.

The reality is you are just another witness to the assault. You can discuss your feelings with the prosecutor and depending on their position on domestic violence they may or may not agree to drop the charges.

Depending on your ex botfriend's past/prior criminal record, the prosecutor may agree to him pleading to something that in the long run may benefit him and potential future victims...such as taking anger management counseling and if he successfully completes that then they might drop the charges.

If he or his friends are pressuring you to drop the charges, you should tell them it is not your decision. In addition you might tell them they could be charged with tampering with a witness. Your ex should not be contacting you about the case. If that is the case you should condider telling the police.

There is little to benefit you by dropping the case and in the long run your ex may view it as weakness on your part and abuse you or someone else in the future. That's the way these guys operate by bullying and intimidation until they get their way. He will do it again, if not to you then to someone else.But...you are the one in the situation so you should  make the decision that makes you comfortable. But just remember he is the bad guy...not you. Hope this helps.