Expert: Robin Sexton - 5/25/2008

Question
I posted my question regarding a neighbor that owed us 1,500 in loans. And I thank JP for his response.
Here's additional info that is pertinent, in the 1st certified letter sent to these people that owed us. I addressed again, the fact that my husband is seriously Developmentally Disabled, and has been taken advantage of repeatedly by this couple that owes us this money. This neighbor told my husband that the beer in my garage was rotting and instructed my husband to bring it over to his house (and of course he drank all of it) During this same time period, I was helping another man, that we knew, that was previously homeless, and on the first day of his arrival at my home this neighbor said he was calling the police to have this man hauled out of my home, because He did not want an undesirable in His neighborhood.
I wrote in my 1st certified letter regarding these unpaid loans: I am a very decisive adult quite capabled of making my own choices and decisions. I do not appreciate you thinking you can dictate or control what goes on in my home, I own this house. I also do not appreciate you bringing my developmentally disabled husband into my home and telling him what to do, that is not your place. You had no legal right to have done so. I am tired of you thinking that you can control my husband or that you have the right to do. You Do Not. This certified letter will act as verification that I want nothing more to do with you, along with the fact that I demand you leave my developmentally husband alone. That means no conversation, no telphone calls, NO NOTHING.LEAVE US ALONE and get yourself some help. The neighbor signed for this certified letter and then the verbal abuses to us increased. When I would drive my husband to work at night for his 3rd shift job, this neighbor would be outside in front of my home, and with his crew of cohorts, call out my husbands name, to intimidate him. We were harrassed by another neighbor demanding that I tell him, the name of this homeless man, so that he could inform association memebers. I told this man to go away and leave us alone and to attend to his own personal problems. The harrassment to us, continued daily and we could not even be out in my front yard without this neighbor calling out nasty remarks to us. I repeatedly called the police here in SC, when this neighbor would hold his weekly and sometimes daily pot smoking & drinking parties, and the police would never come when these parties were taking place. In addition to the pot this neighbor smokes, he  daily consumes 1 to 2 cases of beer. I repeatedly called the police so that they would bust him and my thinking was that then perhaps then this neighbors daily harrassment of all of three of us in my home would stop.
Regarding the response that JP provided, I did address the loans and sent receipts to support my request to finally be paid back, along with stating my position - Out of control, in my opinion, (to the neighbor) you know very well, as you have been trying to control my life and my husband's life ever since you met us. A guest at my home observed you and your need to control everything, along with your manipulations of my husband. To this neighbor I wrote: Why don't you scrutinize your own life and your own actions, and your own habits? Instead of scrutinizing what everyone else does and in your believing that you have the right to dictate what others do in their own personal lives, on their own property.
Please advise me of how to incorporate my written notice to protect my developmentally disabled husband, myself and then this previously homeless man that we were helping at this hearing that I am going to have regarding these charges the wife placed against me for Harrassment/2nd degree harrassment.
Sarah

Answer
Sarah,

You have a very difficult, frustrating, stressful situation.  Also it could be quite dangerous, neighbors like this are unstable and unpredictable.  Also as you have experienced these are not situations that are easily handled by law enforcement. You are doing the right thing by keeping a record of the problems with your neighbors.  Also if you can record the harassment either via audio or video, with out letting them see you do it, would be of great benefit.  I read through your question to J.P. and his response and I agree with his advise.  In this situation though you need to limit the neighbors harassment of you separate from the charge leveled against you.  The court will probably not be interested. I believe this situation has gotten to the point that you need to consult with an attorney.  You obviously have a criminal charge on you that needs to be mitigated and a potentially very difficult and hazardous civil issue that in my experience are never handled very well.

Good Luck


Robin