Criminology and Forensic Psychology/discussing crime

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Question
Hello,

I apologize if this is not in your area of expertise exactly.

My boyfriend has recently started studying criminology. I am very happy for him, he struggled finding his passion in college. Now that he has found this field, he loves to talk about crime, who killed who and so forth, motivation and other details.

I'm a girl and I have very little interest in the topic of crime. There are no red flags, but how do I tell this guy that I don't want to talk about death/crime without sounding discouraging and that I don't care about his passion? In other words, how to do balance bringing your personal interest in criminology into your personal life and how do I encourage him to do the same? I don't know how much longer I can feign interest in the murder cases, it is creeping me out how much he know about murder now...

thanks!
Katie

Answer
Katie,

When people begin to date they often (and incorrectly) believe that they can and will change the perceived annoying faults and peccadilloes of their love interest.  Without mincing words it does not work.  People will not change.  Adhere to the old maxim "what you see is what you get."  Now with that out of the way, if you are considering staying with him you should be completely honest and tell him how you feel.  He will not think less of you.  If you do not he will continue to treat your politeness as interest and will begin to believe you share his interest.  Be gentle and tell him that you want him to find his place in the World and you support him but you do not share as keen of an interest.  With that said you should then tell him about your area of interest.  Persons dating should not keep their interests mutually exclusive.  You will need to show support.  In short, it is a compromise.  There will be times when he wants and needs to talk about his career choice (if that is where he goes) and that applies to you as well.  What is that old saying?...oh yes, it is a "two way street."  As to his focusing in on the particulars of murder to the point where it is creeping you out?  It is often said that there is a fine line between cop and criminal.  There is still time to get out now!  

Criminology and Forensic Psychology

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Jeffrey Hauck

Expertise

I would welcome the opportunity to answer questions relating to or related to the fields of criminology and forensic psychology.

Experience

Criminologist. Professor of Criminal Justice. Licensed Private Detective with expansive clientele base encompassing hundreds of cases. Donates resources and time to the Children's Rescue Network in Orlando, FL.

Education/Credentials
Associate of Science; Bachelor of Arts; Master of Science, Doctor of Jurisprudence Degree.

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