Expert: Rick Jackson - 7/14/2007

Question
1.Wife (87) died recently and I keep finding evidence of the kind and wonderful things she did for me and others while I ignored her in a "tolerable"53 year faithful marriage.Both born and raised Catholic but quit church 10 years ago.Three kids also quit when they left home. How can I "pray to" or apologize or thank her. Now not positive there is a god or even heaven.
2.Am also 87 and been depressioni for 50 yrs. Dr says have
"major depression disorder in brain just as real as cancer" and nothing he tried has helped. I know of a pleasant way of suicide and want to go meet wife. Butam ingrained in lifetime of Catholic threats of burning in  hell forever holding me here.If a god is there would he order such a horrible consequence . Oblivion would be more merciful-and wife is now incapable of unhappines.

Answer
Bill I can not imagine your grief - no doubt worse with existing depression.  I strongly suggest you speak to a priest.  

You can surely thank her and tell her how much you love her now.  There is no benefit to a theology discussion in that area.  Thank her, tell her how much you love her, and also pray for own soul.  ALSO, pray daily for your own strength.

You know there is a God.  Pray for strength and His guidance.  

I bet your wife is even as we speak pleading to God for Peace for you - and that God would knock the thought of taking your life out of your head.  Can't you agree that she'd be quite disappointed to see you give up in that way?

Bill, get to your local Priest.  You need one on one.  I'm not talking about Confession right now, I'm just talking about talking: verbalizing can be curative.

My family will pray for you for the next week; that you be Blessed in a special way...and recognize it.

Rick.