Expert: Gordon Cook - 9/17/2008

Question
Mr Cook,

My question pertains to the marital rules/obligations for a friend of mine, and recent convert, to the Jehovah's Witnesses. Specifically, her husband, who she married before her conversion, is not a Jehovah's Witness. Can reconciliation of JW doctrine and their irreligious marriage be made, or is the doctrine too stringent?

Many thanks from a concerned friend.  

Answer
This is often an area that can cause conflict.
I have known many JW women with non-JW husbands.
Quite often things go well. But that can depend on the husbands attitude. Is he happy to accept her going to meetings and on field service at times when he may want to go out somewhere with her. Also at times when there are 2 day assemblies and 3-4 day conventions. Will he be happy for her to go to these.
Then she will of course have to stop having to celebrate Christmas and Birthdays. How will this affect her family?
There ar also some areas within the sexual side of marriage that are frowned upon by JWs.
Of course in JW teaching the husband is regarded as head of the house.  But, if his demands or views conflict with Watchtower teachings, then she must obey the Watchtower. If problems arise at home with her husband the congregation will side with her. For to them the husband is an "unbeliever" and therefore not considered of consideration.
Some husbands do feel that they have lost their wife to some organisation and can become to feel neglected. That can happen  if the wife puts the all JW related activities etc before her husband and family.
As I said it is an area which can lead to conflict or it can work OK.