AboutAndrew Expertise I don't object to Witness theology, but rather their use of social pressure & deceptive manipulations to undermine family ties & control minds. (This may seem contradictory to Witnesses, who draw no distinction between spiritual belief & organizational policy.) I do not engage in theological debate. I support persons impacted by an experience with the Witnesses & advocate early education for everyone so that they can protect themselves from cults by understanding what to watch out for.
(Ex-)Witnesses: I know how upsetting it is to experience doubts (or anger) about your experience. Time does not heal this wound until you first remove the splinter, which takes more time & effort than you may realize. So unless you have already put in that time & effort, don't be surprised if you are deeply affected long after the experience. But there is good news! You're NOT an enemy of God for doubting or for failing to meet the requirements of a human organization. People who lie cannot represent a God of Truth. Tell me where you're at. I'll understand. I can show you how to begin or continue your recovery & make a life for yourself worth living.
Non-Witnesses: Describe your experience with your friend/relative who is (becoming) a Witness. I can help you understand the Witness indoctrination & social dynamics that are affecting him or her (which are probably not apparent to you). I can help you put your options into perspective. Keep in mind that people make their own choices, & you may not be able to affect this person's choices, no matter how much they impact on you. A few people manage to do so, but don't count on it.
Despite my struggle to recover from my experience with the Witnesses, it was worth it. I will never let anyone cloud my clarity of mind again. Let me use that clarity to help you gain clarity. You deserve it. Every living thing deserves truth, compassion, discovery, and wonder; not manipulation, judgementalism, dogma, or control.
Experience
I was a Witness for 30 years, and a volunteer at their headquarters in Brooklyn, New York, for a year. I have attended many congregations across the United States, carefully observing patterns of behavior. Although being a Witness was difficult and I gradually had more and more doubts about Witness teachings, I was a true believer, so I kept trying to make it work somehow. I stopped attending meetings in 1997 only after receiving an answer to a prayer about doing so, and have since been actively involved in recovery, both my own, and supporting others in theirs. Recovery can include reading books, communicating with others in recovery, and participating in support groups and/or therapy. It always involves reclaiming one's own mind and discovering the other sides of the issues that you have been blinded to in the past.
The Witness organization is not like other churches. Most non-Witnesses really cannot imagine what it is like to be a Witness. The organization has unimaginably extensive rules and monitoring that affect every aspect of life (so there is no privacy and no sense of personal independence).
The organization insists on absolute conformity, and claims to directly represent God; so dissent is not tolerated, and authority is totalitarian. Being a Witness is more like living in China or the former Soviet Union than being a member of a religion as you know it. It was the research of Robert J. Lifton, WHO WAS STUDYING TOTALITARIAN GOVERNMENT BEHIND THE IRON CURTAIN, that first began to illuminate the problem of totalitarian cult religions around the
world.
Witnesses often experience extremely dysfunctional lives and problems including broken family ties, stunted social development, inner unrest resulting from repressed doubts, inability to defend boundaries, and an extreme, persistent feeling of shame for no apparent reason. I can help people impacted by an experience with the Witnesses by revealing in detail the policies and social dynamics in the Witness organization that cause these problems.
My gradual awakening was socially, psychologically, and spiritually tumultuous. I lost everything from my former life. My suffering was epic.
But I have gained everything, so it was worth it. Only after beginning my recovery, I gained social, psychological, and spiritual healing and growth; I gained peace of mind; I gained self-respect; I discovered who I am; and for the first time I discovered the meaning of real brotherly love.
My two best friends have become Jehovah witness. I have studied with my cousin who is also Jehovah witness. I accepted basic teachings in my hart and I delivered myself to Jehovah in my prayer but did not baptize. I do not plan to do it. Now I am nowhere. Not here , not there. I can not come inside the organization because I do not want to do it. General I accept their theology but do not accept fundamentalism at all. Do you have any advice for me or maybe we can exchange our experiences??
Regards,
Goran
Answer Dear Goran,
I think it is insightful and wise of you to avoid fundamentalism.
It is arrogant for men to speak as if they can fully know the mind of God. No one really knows God's mind, such that they could intellectually and linguistically interpret it for others. Therefore no man is qualified to speak for God or direct others as if he were God's spokesman.
On the other hand, if someone claims to have actually been appointed as an official spokesman through a direct action of God himself, he had better be able to prove it. The Watchtower Society does make such claim, but offers absolutely no proof; and is therefore as arrogant and presumptuous as any clergy who make such claim.
I am sorry you have lost your two best friends to a fundamentalist religious cult. Since you are not joining them in becoming Witnesses, they will pull away from you socially, which will erode your friendship. This is the world's primary complaint against religious cults: Cutting off prior relationships, including friends and family.
Religious cults do this because people who do not have a longstanding foundation of pre-existing relationships are easier to control. Of course they have different excuses, but control is what it comes down to; as there are common denominators such as these across all cults.
Although it is difficult to lose good friends, I believe it would be more difficult (and more soul-distorting) for you to join them. May you have peace as you grieve the loss of these friends and eventually reach out to make new friends.
I wish you success in finding a non-fundamentalist environment in which to practice your theology. Does your theology allow you to practice in private, or with a small group of friends? If not, then you remain at risk of being swallowed up by a religious cult, either the Jehovah's Witnesses or a similar organization.
Have you considered studying the tactics of cult mind control? If you plan to explore other organizations that may be less fundamentalist, yet enable you to practice your theological beliefs in community, a study of cult mind control in advance would help you avoid being ensnared by the manipulations and deceptions of cult mind control. I think it would be a wise precaution.
Very few people actually know what to watch out for, because education in the tactics of cult mind control is not present unless you look for it; yet disinformation about the nature of cults is present. So please be careful, and let me know if I can help further.
