Critics of Jehovah`s Witnesses/Annoying Jehovah's Witnesses

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Expert: - 1/3/2010


Question
Hi, I noticed that you commented about annoying Jehovah's Witnesses. They bother me too. Except that I am Jewish and I am not a Christian. I am very proud of my faith and go to synagogue regularly. What I am annoyed about is that they bother my Jewish neighbors and myself. What is worse is that twice they bothered me on the Sabbath which is Saturdays. I told them to leave my doorstep because I am proud to be Jewish and that this is my Sabbath and the girl was too ignorant to get it. She actually handed me a pamphlet which I flung back at her and told her to pick it up and leave before I call the police. I am annoyed because we Jews lost 6 million in the Holocaust. Why do they think that they can come unannounced to your home. Don't they know that you can be busy and not available? Decent people call people first. More importantly, it is very rude to judge other peoples' beliefs and tell them that their way is wrong. How do you feel about what I am saying. Thanks for your time.

Answer
Dear Louis,

I understand you feel annoyed by Jehovah's Witnesses because they knock on your door without calling by telephone to make an appointment first. It is very rare for Witnesses to call by telephone unless you are in a security building or behind a locked gate. If you prefer telephone calls, it is possible to install a gate?

If you prefer not to be bothered at all ever again, the only way I know of to accomplish this is to install a sign at eye level on the outside of your door in one-inch-high letters that reads "No Jehovah's Witnesses".

If you do not wish to install a sign, you might throw cold water on them when they visit, and they will leave you alone (but perhaps only for one year; they keep records with expiration dates). You may have to repeat the process the following year.

I think you are right to be annoyed (and more) by the six million Jewish deaths during the Holocaust. "Annoyed" is putting it mildly. It is a horror to the discredit of our entire species what occurred during the Holocaust. May we find our humanity as a species so that such things never recur. But that nightmare perhaps has little to do with the Witnesses knocking on your door. These seem unrelated to me.

I think you are right to be annoyed that Witnesses judge your beliefs and denounce your ways as "wrong". No one, including the Witnesses, has the right to play God by denouncing his fellow man. "Judgmentalism" means withholding compassion because of disapproval. It is not our place as human beings to approve of or disapprove of one another. This is arrogance. We are not God. The bible (even the one used by Witnesses) tells how wrong it is to judge our fellowman; yet Witnesses still do so. They pretend to be innocent of judging by claiming they judge only actions not persons; but this is merely mental gymnastics. The effect is the same, withholding compassion from one's fellowman. It is wrong to use disapproval as "justification" for withholding compassion. It is our place as human beings to exercise compassion for our fellow man, especially those who claim to follow Judeo-Christian teachings which equate love of neighbor with love of God. May the Witnesses learn these simple things, so as to annoy you and I less.

May you and I achive greater inner peace despite the annoyance. May all learn tolerance rather than judgment; for intolerance leads ultimately to acts such as were committed in the Holocaust.

I am angry at times because of the ongoing and massive injury that Witnesses cause to their families, friends, and neighbors. Yet I hope God will give me the ability to love despite this anger, to take a stand against wrongdoing without taking a stand against persons. Tolerance is rightly exercised for every class of persons, but not for every class of actions. There are some actions that should not be tolerated. The intolerance/judgmentalism of Jehovah's Witnesses should not be tolerated.

In this respect (their teaching to take a stand against actions but not persons), the Witnesses are correct. Yet what they miss is that compassion for the person is still possible despite the necessity to draw firm boundaries against wrong action. You and I would be more compassionate toward individual Witnesses than they would be toward us; because they are taught to judge, treating those they believe to be "ignorant" condescendingly; while we know better.

This is how I feel about what you have said.

Best wishes,
AndrewXJW

Critics of Jehovah`s Witnesses

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I don't object to Witness theology, but rather their use of social pressure & deceptive manipulations to undermine family ties and control minds. (This may seem contradictory to Witnesses, who draw no distinction between spiritual belief and organizational policy.) I do not engage in theological debate. I support persons impacted by an experience with the Witnesses and advocate early education for everyone so that they can protect themselves from cults by understanding what to watch out for. (It's not what most people think.)

(Ex-)Witnesses: I know how upsetting it is to experience doubts (or anger) about your experience. Time does not heal this wound until you first remove the splinter, which takes more time and effort than you may realize. So, unless you have already put in that time and effort, don't be surprised if you are deeply affected long after the experience. But there is good news! You're NOT an enemy of God for doubting or for failing to meet the requirements of a human organization. An organization that lies cannot be the exclusive spokesman for the God of Truth. Tell me where you're at. I'll understand. I can show you how to begin or continue your recovery and make a life for yourself worth living.

Non-Witnesses: Describe your experience with your friend/relative who is (becoming) a Witness. I can help you understand the Witness indoctrination and social dynamics that are affecting him or her. I can help you put your options into perspective. Keep in mind that people do make their own choices (even though they may sometimes do so under outside influence) and you may not be able to affect this person's choices, even though they impact on you. After all, you do not have the arsenal of tactics that a cult does (and wouldn't want to). A few people manage to save their friend/relative, but don't count on it. What you can count on is navigating the maze more successfully by becoming more informed about your own options.

Experience

I was a Witness for 30 years, and a volunteer at their headquarters in Brooklyn, New York, for a year. I have attended meetings with many Witness congregations across the United States, a thorough cross-section, carefully observing patterns of behavior. Although being a Witness was difficult, and I gradually had more and more doubts about Witness teachings--I was a true believer, so I kept trying to make it work somehow. I stopped attending meetings in 1997 only after receiving an answer to a prayer about doing so, and have since been actively involved in recovery. This includes both my own and supporting others in theirs. Recovery can include reading books, communicating with others in recovery, and participating in support groups and/or therapy. It always involves reclaiming one's own mind and discovering the other sides of the issues that you have been blinded to in the past.

My gradual awakening was socially, psychologically, and spiritually tumultuous. I lost everything from my former life. My suffering was substantial.

But I have gained everything, so it was worth it. Only after beginning my recovery did I gain social, psychological, and spiritual healing and growth, peace of mind, and self-respect. Only then did I discover who I am; and--for the first time--the meaning of real brotherly love.

For more resources on this topic, try these web sites:
http://freeminds.org/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/freedomofmind/



Education/Credentials
Like most Cult Recovery Counselors, I am a cult survivor. I have life experience, not professional training. Also I feel no need to apologize for that. People with professional training cannot understand what it is like to survive a cult unless they have been through it themselves, which few professional therapists have. Understanding what really happened and what works in this unusual social context is as important as psychological training. Most professional therapists are not specifically trained to support cult survivors. Those who are represent a rare and precious resource.

I sometimes refer people to professional therapists regarding deep personal issues. But surviving a cult is a broad experience with other dimensions. Professional therapy can be very helpful as part of your recovery process, assuming that you choose the right therapist. When choosing a therapist, remember that you are the client and they are a service provider. You are the one who holds authority about the relationship. You get to interview the therapist and decide which one to employ.

Be sure to ask what specific training and experience they have around recovery from cult mind control. Most therapists do not have relevant training. Some carry serious misunderstandings about what cult mind control is; and therefore will misunderstand your struggle. So it pays to be selective as a consumer of professional therapy services.

Past/Present Clients
The Witness organization is not like other churches. Most non-Witnesses really cannot imagine what it is like to be a Witness. The organization has unimaginably extensive rules and monitoring that affect every aspect of life, so there is no privacy and no sense of personal independence. "Independent thought" is considered their greatest "sin".

The organization insists on absolute conformity, and claims to directly represent God; so dissent is not tolerated, and authority is totalitarian. Being a Witness is more like living in China or the former Soviet Union than being a member of a religion as you know it. It was the research of Robert J. Lifton, who was studying--not religions--but totalitarian governments, who first began to illuminate the problem of religious cults around the world, which employ exactly the same tactics as totalitarian governments. His work remains a cornerstone for Cult Recovery Counselors still today. (This may be why many governments are tolerant of cults, to avoid exposing their own control tactics.)

Witnesses often experience unusually dysfunctional lives and an extensive array of personal problems stemming from broken family ties, stunted social development, inner unrest resulting from repressed doubts, inability to defend boundaries, and an extreme, persistent feeling of irrational shame. I can help people impacted by an experience with the Witnesses by revealing in detail the policies and social dynamics in the Witness organization that cause these problems.

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