Expert: Andrew - 1/20/2011

Question
QUESTION: Hi Andrew,
I guess we emailed too much so I had to ask a new question. Thx for your honesty.  What I really would like to know is how do I get out of it.... I work with my study partner, & I love her, I want to go to the hall but not all the time.  The sisters like me & I guess 'cause I bring them news from the world. I know what you mean that I can't live in their world and mine.  At this time I'm looking for a place to worship.  I know God is going to lead me to the right place, just as he showed you the way. I think in time things will be revealed to me.  My religion is the Bible...Once at the hall they asked why would it be nice being around when Jesus was here on earth....I wanted to comment & say...it would have a pleasure to hear Jesus without man's interpretation....

Thx,

Dee

ANSWER: Dear Dee,

I understand it's been pleasant. But there are lots of other churches and chapels out there that would not expose you to the dangers of cult mind control. If you must continue attending meetings with the Witnesses, may I suggest you read the book "Releasing the Bonds" by Steven Hassan to protect yourself from the mind games that occur there?

I agree that your spiritual path is your own. I'm sure you will find your way without third party interpretations of God's will.

The best way to get out of an entanglement with the Witnesses depends on your personality. If you can politely offer tea and cookies but insist on talking about the weather, that is, firmly change the subject when they bring up Witness doctrine, then you could go cold turkey on Witness doctrine. You can still visit politely with the ladies when they come to visit without exposing yourself to Witness dogma and cult mind control tactics. But you would have to be able to firmly change the subject when it comes up, and they would get the hint.

If you're not the kind of person who can firmly change the subject, then I suggest gradually drifting away by showing less and less interest. That also means never saying anything about your doubts, just that you're "too tired for a meeting or bible study today", that sort of thing. By drifting away gradually and not giving them any objection to work against, they are more likely to leave you alone without applying mental pressure.

However, the very first step, as I suggested before, is to tell your friends and family that you've discovered the Witnesses are a cult, and you want out, but you need their help. You need the counterbalancing moral support of your friends and family to successfully deal with the mental pressure that's likely to come when you start to pull away from the Witnesses.

That's what I'd suggest.

Blessings,
AndrewXJW

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hi Andrew,
I will take your advise. As a matter of fact tonight is my meeting but I have to stay at work to help with an event...really I volunteered because I need not to show up sometime. I don't believe in the trinity & that's not from them but what I've read myself.  So I'm still searching.  My study partner works with me so there isn't any visiting at my house, I like it like that...& she doesn't go to the same hall I do... My friends & family are the ones that tell me they are a cult, so I won't have to bring that up. Most of the things that they do believe aren't true about the Witnesses.  Do you remember a book they have I think it's the reasoning book,in the book it talks about what a cult is & they claim they aren't one. What I think is that they want to imitate Jesus that they forget there is only one Jesus & that's why God sent him because he was perfect & none of us are. At the end of the day we should be good to one another....I will take your advice & see what happens.  

Thx,

D

ANSWER: Dear Dee,

You mention the trinity, as a point in common with the Witnesses. I share some beliefs in common with them too. But remember, organizational policy and religious belief are two entirely different things. The Witnesses try to blur the line as if they are the same thing; but they are not. Even if all their religious beliefs are correct (perhaps they are, I don't know); their organizational policies are still absolutely wrong, because their organizational policies divide families, isolate members socially so that they become more dependent on the organization, withhold key information from new recruits with the justification that they aren't yet "mature" enough to hear the whole "truth", pretend to speak for God, etc.

You say your friends and family already believe the Witnesses are a cult, which is true; but they also believe other things about the Witnesses that are not true. Perhaps it would help to show them my column at AllExperts.com. I'd be glad to clear up any misunderstandings they might have about the Witnesses so that they are in a better position to offer you the moral support you need and deserve.

Yes, I remember the Witnesses' "Reasoning" book. Yes, that and other publications address the question of whether the Witnesses are a cult, and make themselves look innocent. Of course, they completely miss the real definition of what a cult is. You wouldn't expect the Witness leadership to admit to their own greatest error, right? A cult is an organization that employs the tactics of cult mind control. It's that simple. Once you learn what the tactics are, then you can identify the organizations that are cults by whether or not they employ those tactics. The Witnesses employ all of them. That makes them a cult.

The difference is freedom vs. enslavement. If God grants free choice; then anything that impairs free choice, such as mental slavery, is contrary to God's will. (I am promoting clear reasoning here, not attempting to define God's will. I don't know God's will any better than anyone else.)

You're right, no man can compare himself to God, and no man who is not a prophet should elevate himself to the same level as the prophets he claims to believe in. The Witnesses, out of one corner of their mouths, claim they are NOT prophets of God, and out of the other corner of their mouths, speak as if they had the same authority a duly-appointed spokesman or prophet would have. This is duplicitous. Not only do they speak, but also insist on compliance with their regulations, and harshly punish members who do not comply. This is very authoritarian, yet they claim not to be a prophet, so from what source does such authority derive? Out of thin air.

I respect Jesus because he taught love, peace, self-sacrifice, and other virtues. However, I'm afraid the Jesus who is taught by most religious organizations today is not the same Jesus who was born in Bethlehem two thousand years ago. The religious organizations have codified and legalized Jesus. They have created control structures and intellectual strictures out of what was supposed to be a spiritual path.

If we all practice universal virtues like love of neighbor, the world would be so much a better place.

Blessings,
AndrewXJW

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hi Andrew,
I agree with everything you say...What this whole thing of faith says to me is....study the gospel...& react to what you have read...everyone reads the Bible & try to do & be all they see in there...instead of being the best person they can be which should be what a person gets from the bible. How many folks in the Bible turned away from God, but then turned back to him again...what about the man who was crucified with Jesus...Did Jesus say...you didn't follow all the rules...so that's it for you buddy...Jesus said to him...See ya in Paradise...if he had a chance so what about us...the ones who try to love our neighbors & God....don't we get a chance too..It a good thing God is the judge & not humans...'cause we are unforgiving...My study partner is so surprised when someone does something nice & they are not a Witness, like there aren't other folks in the world who believe in the gospel & also try to do the right thing. I think Witnesses want to be right so much they are missing the message...LOVE..Predicting,they heard from God & so on...stop & just Preach & Teach....& let it roll. Also, we read from the reasoning book about why they don't do charity work & so on...it was just a small paragraph stating What they do...do....they help their neighbors, if so why are so many areas still with so much sin...they have been preaching for yrs. in some areas...& why aren't the halls full by now, everyone knows where the halls are.  You are so right....they claim not to prophesize, yet they claim that God talk to the folks at Bethel..& only to them. But on the funny side if God is talking to them...it's a change because most folks claim the devil talks to them...I use to often wonder about that...I digress....You said nobody knows what God's will is...& I think most folks don't know & when they guess...they make a religion out of it...I think Jesus best put....love each other & love God, the stuff in between is just that...stuff.  I kind of think God gave us a bunch of rules...we couldn't do them...so he broke it down to 10...we couldn't do that...now it's down to 2...Love Each other & God...why do you think he did that....'cause we are hardheaded...ex: You give your children chores..maybe 4...they only do 3, so now you say ok, I'll give you a break just do 2 & they can't even do those 2..so you just break it down to 1 chore....& maybe just maybe they'll do that one...that's us. I like communicating with you. You make me feel that I'm on the right track & help me to trust my instinct...& look before I leap....

Thx,

D  

D

Answer
Dear Dee,

Yes, the Witnesses are so focused being part of the "chosen" crowd, and staying part of that crowd, in their minds, by means of rule-following, that they have missed the message and meaning of love. In fact, I don't think it's possible to be loving when one's mind is subjected to such extensive controls. Real brotherly love gets suspended as a by-product of the mind control process. Having grown up among Witnesses, the first time in my life I ever saw brotherly love, it was among non-Witnesses. This was the number one factor that opened my eyes and enabled me to see a way out. Jesus said I would know his followers by the love among them. The Witnesses always apply this scripture to themselves, but turned out it was somewhere else all along.

From my point of view, it's not that "nobody knows what God's will is" but rather nobody has authority to define that any more than anybody else. It's when someone gets up on a pedestal and claims the authority to define God's will that problems occur. Perhaps we all know, at some level, what God's will is; and therefore don't need anybody to tell us.

You're right, when somebody has a clear and strong spiritual experience, they are sometimes tempted to codify it and freeze it into a religion for others to follow, when really it was only for them in that moment, and such things cannot be successfully codified. Why? Because spirituality occurs in the right hemisphere of the brain; while intellect occurs in the left hemisphere. It requires us to use the wrong mode of thinking when we try to translate a spiritual experience into words, and then expect others to follow those words.

Absolutely trust your instincts. Your soul knows the answer.

Blessings,
AndrewXJW