Critics of Jehovah`s Witnesses/MUST READ: ABOUT HONESTY HERE

Advertisement

Expert: - 3/30/2011


Question
Hello Andrew, I am greatly annoyed by several JW "experts" on this site. They seem to be purposely manipulating the system to their advantage point. I have asked questions to Ms. Martin several times and she usually responds to the initial question, but when you ask a follow up (that she apparently does not like)she ignores it. This tactic allows her the last word and does not allow the readers to see the rebuttal. I spend my time as well with my question and am not disrespectful in any way. I think I deserve an answer, or at the very least, to have it shown so others can read what I think. She has the right not to answer, however, in all fairness, readers should see she is objecting to giving a response. The first few times she did this, I let it go. Her last answer, to another reader proved to me, that she is indeed doing this on purpose, so readers see only her view! Her exact words were "The great thing about this site is, I can choose what to answer and what not to answer, and when I choose not to answer, their question can't be read by the public" ! Are you kidding? She just ruined any credibility she had by actually admitting to this behavior! Another "expert" will change a "private" question to "public" based on what he wants people to see! If a reader wanted it "private" should you not respect what they wanted? Who gives him the right to make it "public"? The more I see of these people and how manipulative they are, the less I respect them. Thanks for listening.

Answer
Dear Chris,

Thanks for shining a light on this important matter. You are astute and correct in your assessment that persons claiming to be experts on the topic of Witness policies and dynamics are really just Witnesses trying to save the reputation of their organization. In my opinion, they cannot be considered credible experts on the topic, because they do not consider the subject from all sides.

It is typical of Witnesses to dodge questions and answer selectively; because it is not their goal to provide forthright answers in the belief that forthright answers are beneficial; rather it is their goal to steer your thinking process in the belief that you must conform to their way of thinking in order for your life to be saved.

It is also typical of Witnesses, as you have observed, to hide rebuttals, and show only one side of issues. Remember they are absolutely disinterested in allowing people to make informed decisions after having gathered complete information based on multiple perspectives; as they believe the whole truth is found by focusing on just one perspective and silencing others.

There is a time to withdraw from unproductive debate, so in all fairness, I may not always allow all rebuttals on my column either, once a topic has been adequately covered; but because I believe in finding a more complete truth through a multiplicity of perspectives, I do not have to try to silence perspectives that are inconvenient; since none are inconvenient to me.

I would suggest not expecting fair-minded treatment of subjects when dealing with the recruiters and advocates of cult organizations. You will be disappointed every time.

I also agree with you that changing a message from "private" to "public" contrary to the wishes of the questioner is bad manners and contrary to customary "netiquette". I almost never do that, and only if it's clear that a message contains no private information.

Witnesses, and all members of cult organizations, are adept at manipulation and deception. It is their stock and trade. I would not say they are usually malicious about it, however. Most of them are desperate and wishful, and psychologically impaired, meaning well. This impacts, not only in their behaviors with others, but more primarily their own psyche. We should pity them.

I would encourage the readers of this column to read and re-read what Chris has said here. It is a very important and valid observation.

Best wishes,
AndrewXJW

Critics of Jehovah`s Witnesses

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts

Volunteer

Andrew

Expertise

I don't object to Witness theology, but rather their use of social pressure & deceptive manipulations to undermine family ties and control minds. (This may seem contradictory to Witnesses, who draw no distinction between spiritual belief and organizational policy.) I do not engage in theological debate. I support persons impacted by an experience with the Witnesses and advocate early education for everyone so that they can protect themselves from cults by understanding what to watch out for. (It's not what most people think.)

(Ex-)Witnesses: I know how upsetting it is to experience doubts (or anger) about your experience. Time does not heal this wound until you first remove the splinter, which takes more time and effort than you may realize. So, unless you have already put in that time and effort, don't be surprised if you are deeply affected long after the experience. But there is good news! You're NOT an enemy of God for doubting or for failing to meet the requirements of a human organization. An organization that lies cannot be the exclusive spokesman for the God of Truth. Tell me where you're at. I'll understand. I can show you how to begin or continue your recovery and make a life for yourself worth living.

Non-Witnesses: Describe your experience with your friend/relative who is (becoming) a Witness. I can help you understand the Witness indoctrination and social dynamics that are affecting him or her. I can help you put your options into perspective. Keep in mind that people do make their own choices (even though they may sometimes do so under outside influence) and you may not be able to affect this person's choices, even though they impact on you. After all, you do not have the arsenal of tactics that a cult does (and wouldn't want to). A few people manage to save their friend/relative, but don't count on it. What you can count on is navigating the maze more successfully by becoming more informed about your own options.

Experience

I was a Witness for 30 years, and a volunteer at their headquarters in Brooklyn, New York, for a year. I have attended meetings with many Witness congregations across the United States, a thorough cross-section, carefully observing patterns of behavior. Although being a Witness was difficult, and I gradually had more and more doubts about Witness teachings--I was a true believer, so I kept trying to make it work somehow. I stopped attending meetings in 1997 only after receiving an answer to a prayer about doing so, and have since been actively involved in recovery. This includes both my own and supporting others in theirs. Recovery can include reading books, communicating with others in recovery, and participating in support groups and/or therapy. It always involves reclaiming one's own mind and discovering the other sides of the issues that you have been blinded to in the past.

My gradual awakening was socially, psychologically, and spiritually tumultuous. I lost everything from my former life. My suffering was substantial.

But I have gained everything, so it was worth it. Only after beginning my recovery did I gain social, psychological, and spiritual healing and growth, peace of mind, and self-respect. Only then did I discover who I am; and--for the first time--the meaning of real brotherly love.

For more resources on this topic, try these web sites:
http://freeminds.org/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/freedomofmind/



Education/Credentials
Like most Cult Recovery Counselors, I am a cult survivor. I have life experience, not professional training. Also I feel no need to apologize for that. People with professional training cannot understand what it is like to survive a cult unless they have been through it themselves, which few professional therapists have. Understanding what really happened and what works in this unusual social context is as important as psychological training. Most professional therapists are not specifically trained to support cult survivors. Those who are represent a rare and precious resource.

I sometimes refer people to professional therapists regarding deep personal issues. But surviving a cult is a broad experience with other dimensions. Professional therapy can be very helpful as part of your recovery process, assuming that you choose the right therapist. When choosing a therapist, remember that you are the client and they are a service provider. You are the one who holds authority about the relationship. You get to interview the therapist and decide which one to employ.

Be sure to ask what specific training and experience they have around recovery from cult mind control. Most therapists do not have relevant training. Some carry serious misunderstandings about what cult mind control is; and therefore will misunderstand your struggle. So it pays to be selective as a consumer of professional therapy services.

Past/Present Clients
The Witness organization is not like other churches. Most non-Witnesses really cannot imagine what it is like to be a Witness. The organization has unimaginably extensive rules and monitoring that affect every aspect of life, so there is no privacy and no sense of personal independence. "Independent thought" is considered their greatest "sin".

The organization insists on absolute conformity, and claims to directly represent God; so dissent is not tolerated, and authority is totalitarian. Being a Witness is more like living in China or the former Soviet Union than being a member of a religion as you know it. It was the research of Robert J. Lifton, who was studying--not religions--but totalitarian governments, who first began to illuminate the problem of religious cults around the world, which employ exactly the same tactics as totalitarian governments. His work remains a cornerstone for Cult Recovery Counselors still today. (This may be why many governments are tolerant of cults, to avoid exposing their own control tactics.)

Witnesses often experience unusually dysfunctional lives and an extensive array of personal problems stemming from broken family ties, stunted social development, inner unrest resulting from repressed doubts, inability to defend boundaries, and an extreme, persistent feeling of irrational shame. I can help people impacted by an experience with the Witnesses by revealing in detail the policies and social dynamics in the Witness organization that cause these problems.

©2012 About.com, a part of The New York Times Company. All rights reserved.