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Critics of Jehovah`s Witnesses/Afraid of leaving
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Question
It has to be the truth, I was raised in it, but my sister whom is a witness, has always put me down, I never felt good enough to become one. Now I am terrified of Armageddon or letting Jehovah down. I am also afraid that all other Religions are false, if not? Why do they kill one another? As in Wars and so on.
I loved your profile, and wish I could become un afraid, and to really know what is truth?
Thank you.
Dear Joy,
I reread my profile just now to see which part of it might have spoken to you. Of course, I don't know. But guess which part jumped out at me as pertaining to you?
"It always involves reclaiming one's own mind and discovering the other sides of the issues that you have been blinded to in the past."
What I'm trying to say is that the reason you feel "it has to be the truth" is because you've never seriously considered any alternative. There are many other sides to all the issues you embrace as a Witness, and you have never really considered them. It's not your fault; you weren't allowed to consider them because they were preemptively labelled as having come "from the Devil"; and who would want to read anything from the Devil? But is it really true that anything contrary to Witness teaching must be from the Devil? Or is that just a way that the Witness leadership uses to keep the rank and file under control "for their own good"?
I cannot tell you the right thing to do. Because the decision is yours. But nobody else can either; and I think you've been letting people tell you what to do.
I cannot tell you what's true about God. You should pray to God and listen for his answers. They might surprise you. His answers surprised me; and it was because I had spent a lifetime not listening to God. Since instead I always had listened to people claiming to represent God rather than God himself, I bought into their claims, which were wildly different from what God told me when I finally started listening for real answers to prayers. You should listen too. Because that's the only way you'll ever really know about God.
How can you let Jehovah down by asking Him what he wants from you and then doing it? You can't. But you can perhaps let Him down, and certainly you can let yourself down by asking others what Jehovah wants and then doing that.
Perhaps some day it is not the answers that will change, but the questions will change. Perhaps some day you will no longer be concerned so much about "falsehood" because you will gradually realize that this is an artificial fear that has been cultivated in you by people who want to cut off your options so you will have no choice but to capitulate to them.
Armageddon may indeed be real. The world has ended many times before, and will again. But if it comes at the hand of God himself, then I will stand to receive blessings from the God of Truth as much as any Witness because I tell the truth more than they do.
You have been lied to, Joy. And it has hurt you. You deserve healing from the damage caused by Witness lies. You deserve a real solid relationship with Spirit such as the Witnesses will never allow you to have. You deserve unconditional love such as they are incapable of.
Ask God what to do, Joy. Pray harder than you ever have, and listen carefully for answers. You will know it is Jehovah Himself speaking by how you feel when you hear the answer. If you feel afraid or ashamed, then it is your own inner demons planted by Witness lies.
If you feel joy and ease and comfort and security and well-being and love when you hear an answer to a prayer, then you know it comes from the Most High.
Do you have Witness relatives? Then don't disassociate yourself if you can help it. If you decide that the Witnesses don't have all the answers, then just drift away if you can. Your Witness relatives will never understand, so don't expect them to understand more than they are capable of. Be very careful what you say.
Yet you don't have to stay enslaved to their mind games either, once you begin to recognize the mind games for what they are.
Blessings to you Joy,
AndrewXJW
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Andrew
Expertise
I don't object to Witness theology, but rather their use of social pressure & deceptive manipulations to undermine family ties and control minds. (This may seem contradictory to Witnesses, who draw no distinction between spiritual belief and organizational policy.) I do not engage in theological debate. I support persons impacted by an experience with the Witnesses and advocate early education for everyone so that they can protect themselves from cults by understanding what to watch out for. (It's not what most people think.)
(Ex-)Witnesses: I know how upsetting it is to experience doubts (or anger) about your experience. Time does not heal this wound until you first remove the splinter, which takes more time and effort than you may realize. So, unless you have already put in that time and effort, don't be surprised if you are deeply affected long after the experience. But there is good news! You're NOT an enemy of God for doubting or for failing to meet the requirements of a human organization. An organization that lies cannot be the exclusive spokesman for the God of Truth. Tell me where you're at. I'll understand. I can show you how to begin or continue your recovery and make a life for yourself worth living.
Non-Witnesses: Describe your experience with your friend/relative who is (becoming) a Witness. I can help you understand the Witness indoctrination and social dynamics that are affecting him or her. I can help you put your options into perspective. Keep in mind that people do make their own choices (even though they may sometimes do so under outside influence) and you may not be able to affect this person's choices, even though they impact on you. After all, you do not have the arsenal of tactics that a cult does (and wouldn't want to). A few people manage to save their friend/relative, but don't count on it. What you can count on is navigating the maze more successfully by becoming more informed about your own options.
Experience
I was a Witness for 30 years, and a volunteer at their headquarters in Brooklyn, New York, for a year. I have attended meetings with many Witness congregations across the United States, a thorough cross-section, carefully observing patterns of behavior. Although being a Witness was difficult, and I gradually had more and more doubts about Witness teachings--I was a true believer, so I kept trying to make it work somehow. I stopped attending meetings in 1997 only after receiving an answer to a prayer about doing so, and have since been actively involved in recovery. This includes both my own and supporting others in theirs. Recovery can include reading books, communicating with others in recovery, and participating in support groups and/or therapy. It always involves reclaiming one's own mind and discovering the other sides of the issues that you have been blinded to in the past.
My gradual awakening was socially, psychologically, and spiritually tumultuous. I lost everything from my former life. My suffering was substantial.
But I have gained everything, so it was worth it. Only after beginning my recovery did I gain social, psychological, and spiritual healing and growth, peace of mind, and self-respect. Only then did I discover who I am; and--for the first time--the meaning of real brotherly love.
For more resources on this topic, try these web sites:
http://freeminds.org/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/freedomofmind/
Education/Credentials
Like most Cult Recovery Counselors, I am a cult survivor. I have life experience, not professional training. Also I feel no need to apologize for that. People with professional training cannot understand what it is like to survive a cult unless they have been through it themselves, which few professional therapists have. Understanding what really happened and what works in this unusual social context is as important as psychological training. Most professional therapists are not specifically trained to support cult survivors. Those who are represent a rare and precious resource.
I sometimes refer people to professional therapists regarding deep personal issues. But surviving a cult is a broad experience with other dimensions. Professional therapy can be very helpful as part of your recovery process, assuming that you choose the right therapist. When choosing a therapist, remember that you are the client and they are a service provider. You are the one who holds authority about the relationship. You get to interview the therapist and decide which one to employ.
Be sure to ask what specific training and experience they have around recovery from cult mind control. Most therapists do not have relevant training. Some carry serious misunderstandings about what cult mind control is; and therefore will misunderstand your struggle. So it pays to be selective as a consumer of professional therapy services.
Past/Present Clients
The Witness organization is not like other churches. Most non-Witnesses really cannot imagine what it is like to be a Witness. The organization has unimaginably extensive rules and monitoring that affect every aspect of life, so there is no privacy and no sense of personal independence. "Independent thought" is considered their greatest "sin".
The organization insists on absolute conformity, and claims to directly represent God; so dissent is not tolerated, and authority is totalitarian. Being a Witness is more like living in China or the former Soviet Union than being a member of a religion as you know it. It was the research of Robert J. Lifton, who was studying--not religions--but totalitarian governments, who first began to illuminate the problem of religious cults around the world, which employ exactly the same tactics as totalitarian governments. His work remains a cornerstone for Cult Recovery Counselors still today. (This may be why many governments are tolerant of cults, to avoid exposing their own control tactics.)
Witnesses often experience unusually dysfunctional lives and an extensive array of personal problems stemming from broken family ties, stunted social development, inner unrest resulting from repressed doubts, inability to defend boundaries, and an extreme, persistent feeling of irrational shame. I can help people impacted by an experience with the Witnesses by revealing in detail the policies and social dynamics in the Witness organization that cause these problems.
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