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Critics of Jehovah`s Witnesses/Your Faith now?
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Hi Andrew;
Your name sake, Andrew the Apostle; the brother to Peter and usually mentioned second in the list of the Apostles; must have been that extra push to get the answer to your prayers. I sure do praise God for all that have escaped the Watch Tower's hold on them.
As you can see I am a Roman Catholic, with a wife that is a JW. I have studied with them and because of that study have gained a deeper faith as a Catholic.
Just how did you finally come to the conclusion that the watch Tower and it's faith is wrong?
I am always concerned though that that when some one brakes free, that they might be turned off all together on religion. Do you find that as a problem?
I whish you all the Blessings of God in all your endeavors.
In the love of Christ,
At the foot of the CROSS
A Catholic Friend.
Dear "Catholic Friend",
"Andrew" is a pseudonym that I use for self-protection because Witnesses who disapprove of my ministry can be very vindictive.
Thank you for your kind and supportive words. You have my sympathy for the conflict that you surely suffer with because of your religiously divided family.
My indoctrination as a Witness was very thorough. I would never have begun the road to recovery had it not been for a message from God. After having experienced many doubts over a long period of time, and after my faith had become a painful trial for me because of it's own nature, I prayed to God and asked if I should stay with the Witnesses or leave.
He showed me a sign that I should leave. That was how I finally came to the conclusion that the Watchtower is not the one true way that it claims to be.
I don't believe that the Watchtower is wrong in every way. Probably, their religious beliefs are as valid as those of any church.
What is not valid, however, is the way they control their followers. They insist on absolute compliance in thought and action, which does not allow for their own human error. This control, and the mechanisms that justify and enable such control, is the fundamental problem with the Watchtower organization, in my opinion.
When faithful Witnesses equate the word of their leaders with the word of God, and then that word fails (as it has many times), their faith in God--not men--is damaged. So it is reprehensible for Watchtower leaders, or any religious leader for that matter, to claim to be a unique spokesman for God (without having been directly appointed by God).
Many faithful people believe that it is right and proper to allow God to guide their lives, and even to give over to Him one's decision making. 'Throw your burdens upon God', and 'Let God guide your steps', the scriptures say.
I respect people who by faith follow such a course, and try to seek out God's will for them. However, giving one's decision making over to God, who is perfectly loving, just, and wise, is not at all the same as giving one's decision making over to men claiming to speak for God, even if the intentions of such men are pure (which it may not always be).
My mental health has taken a tremendous leap forward after leaving the Witnesses, merely because I am now free to believe that something less than 100% of Watchtower teachings are correct; and am no longer in profound conflict when I discover errors.
I am not turned off altogether on religion, although I am generally turned off by most Christians, no disrespect intended.
My study of Christ himself leads me to believe he was humble and reasonable and slow to judge, while most of the Christians I have known (before AND after leaving the Witnesses) do not emulate him with regard to these qualities.
Most Christians do not seem to consider it important to regard non-Christians with honor. This may seem proper because of the teaching that Christianity is the only way to God, and that non-Christians are therefore Godless.
But I don't think it was ever Christ's intention for his followers to treat non-Christians with dishonor.
I was a Christian for 30 years. Today, I believe that Christ was filled with holy spirit, and while so filled, uttered the words, "I am the way". I further believe that others can be filled similarly, and that the holy spirit can utter through them also, "I am the way" to God, which is consistent with virtually every belief system on the planet.
Perhaps the conflict I keep observing between Christians and non-Christians centers on tolerance. After all, there are limits to proper tolerance. Christians have been religiously intolerant throughout history, out of a righteous jealousy for God. And there is a certain beauty in that zealous loyalty.
But was Christ intolerant? I suggest that he was tolerant of others, and allowed others freedom of thought and action, except when they blasphemed by dishonoring the Creator.
I think conflict is unnecessary because all spiritual people can agree on affirming life and honoring the Creator of life. Those who disclaim the value of life or blasphemously dishonor God are the ones who deserve indignation, not those who perceive or conceive of God differently.
I am glad your faith in God is strong, and I wish you success in your faith and your life. Likewise, I hope you can accept my choice without despair to no longer embrace Christianity as the only way to God.
I have had people telling me the "only way" to do things for far too long, and my relationship with God is now far stronger when I seek guidance directly from Him rather than through a mediator.
May your wife gently open her eyes to God's love and kindness and to the fact that the Watchtower organization has never been directly appointed by God.
If you wish ever to assist her toward that end, it would be wise not to make any frontal attack against her beliefs, as Witnesses are well trained to counter such an approach by many means, including closing their minds.
I suggest subtle and simple thought-provoking questions, followed up with simple facts, a little at a time. I have found the information found in the book "Crisis of Conscience" to be very helpful to many Witnesses, since it offers a window on the inner workings of the Watchtower organization, and since it is written by an authority on the subject, without any malice or negativity of any kind.
However, since Witnesses judge a message by its source, and the author has been denounced by their leaders, presenting the information is a hurdle, and must be done wisely.
Best wishes for success.
Sincerely,
Andrew
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Andrew
Expertise
I don't object to Witness theology, but rather their use of social pressure & deceptive manipulations to undermine family ties and control minds. (This may seem contradictory to Witnesses, who draw no distinction between spiritual belief and organizational policy.) I do not engage in theological debate. I support persons impacted by an experience with the Witnesses and advocate early education for everyone so that they can protect themselves from cults by understanding what to watch out for. (It's not what most people think.)
(Ex-)Witnesses: I know how upsetting it is to experience doubts (or anger) about your experience. Time does not heal this wound until you first remove the splinter, which takes more time and effort than you may realize. So, unless you have already put in that time and effort, don't be surprised if you are deeply affected long after the experience. But there is good news! You're NOT an enemy of God for doubting or for failing to meet the requirements of a human organization. An organization that lies cannot be the exclusive spokesman for the God of Truth. Tell me where you're at. I'll understand. I can show you how to begin or continue your recovery and make a life for yourself worth living.
Non-Witnesses: Describe your experience with your friend/relative who is (becoming) a Witness. I can help you understand the Witness indoctrination and social dynamics that are affecting him or her. I can help you put your options into perspective. Keep in mind that people do make their own choices (even though they may sometimes do so under outside influence) and you may not be able to affect this person's choices, even though they impact on you. After all, you do not have the arsenal of tactics that a cult does (and wouldn't want to). A few people manage to save their friend/relative, but don't count on it. What you can count on is navigating the maze more successfully by becoming more informed about your own options.
Experience
I was a Witness for 30 years, and a volunteer at their headquarters in Brooklyn, New York, for a year. I have attended meetings with many Witness congregations across the United States, a thorough cross-section, carefully observing patterns of behavior. Although being a Witness was difficult, and I gradually had more and more doubts about Witness teachings--I was a true believer, so I kept trying to make it work somehow. I stopped attending meetings in 1997 only after receiving an answer to a prayer about doing so, and have since been actively involved in recovery. This includes both my own and supporting others in theirs. Recovery can include reading books, communicating with others in recovery, and participating in support groups and/or therapy. It always involves reclaiming one's own mind and discovering the other sides of the issues that you have been blinded to in the past.
My gradual awakening was socially, psychologically, and spiritually tumultuous. I lost everything from my former life. My suffering was substantial.
But I have gained everything, so it was worth it. Only after beginning my recovery did I gain social, psychological, and spiritual healing and growth, peace of mind, and self-respect. Only then did I discover who I am; and--for the first time--the meaning of real brotherly love.
For more resources on this topic, try these web sites:
http://freeminds.org/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/freedomofmind/
Education/Credentials
Like most Cult Recovery Counselors, I am a cult survivor. I have life experience, not professional training. Also I feel no need to apologize for that. People with professional training cannot understand what it is like to survive a cult unless they have been through it themselves, which few professional therapists have. Understanding what really happened and what works in this unusual social context is as important as psychological training. Most professional therapists are not specifically trained to support cult survivors. Those who are represent a rare and precious resource.
I sometimes refer people to professional therapists regarding deep personal issues. But surviving a cult is a broad experience with other dimensions. Professional therapy can be very helpful as part of your recovery process, assuming that you choose the right therapist. When choosing a therapist, remember that you are the client and they are a service provider. You are the one who holds authority about the relationship. You get to interview the therapist and decide which one to employ.
Be sure to ask what specific training and experience they have around recovery from cult mind control. Most therapists do not have relevant training. Some carry serious misunderstandings about what cult mind control is; and therefore will misunderstand your struggle. So it pays to be selective as a consumer of professional therapy services.
Past/Present Clients
The Witness organization is not like other churches. Most non-Witnesses really cannot imagine what it is like to be a Witness. The organization has unimaginably extensive rules and monitoring that affect every aspect of life, so there is no privacy and no sense of personal independence. "Independent thought" is considered their greatest "sin".
The organization insists on absolute conformity, and claims to directly represent God; so dissent is not tolerated, and authority is totalitarian. Being a Witness is more like living in China or the former Soviet Union than being a member of a religion as you know it. It was the research of Robert J. Lifton, who was studying--not religions--but totalitarian governments, who first began to illuminate the problem of religious cults around the world, which employ exactly the same tactics as totalitarian governments. His work remains a cornerstone for Cult Recovery Counselors still today. (This may be why many governments are tolerant of cults, to avoid exposing their own control tactics.)
Witnesses often experience unusually dysfunctional lives and an extensive array of personal problems stemming from broken family ties, stunted social development, inner unrest resulting from repressed doubts, inability to defend boundaries, and an extreme, persistent feeling of irrational shame. I can help people impacted by an experience with the Witnesses by revealing in detail the policies and social dynamics in the Witness organization that cause these problems.
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