Expert: Andrew - 6/28/2006

Question
Andrew,
I see that you were a JW for over 30 years and then after a prayer was answered you ended your affiliation with the JWs?  Do you mind if I ask why?  

Also, a fellow person on the JW portion of the website had the following to say to a question, what do you think he meant by it?  I would ask him, but he is currently on vacation and not taking any questions.:

Something interesting about this subject that others may not know:   The Watchtower Society has in its history a long line of false prophecies, which according to the Word of God, disqualifies it from being "God's organization". While its doctrines are in regular need of change and revision, the Gospel of Jesus Christ never changes! It is man's only hope to be saved.

I'm thinking it has something to do with the fact that they JWs made so many prophecies as to when the world would end and none of them came true.  So now they just say we are in the "End of days" and that Jesus has been here on earth since 1914 or something like that.   

Let me give you a little bit of quick info about me:  I'm married, my wife, Maria is a practicing JW, but not baptized yet.  I'm not.  We have four children, three are ours and the oldest is from my previous marriage.  Ages are 18 mos, 3 yrs, 5 yrs and 13 yrs.  I'm stubborn, I don't like to be pressured into anything and feel that when I am around JWs that I'm being either pressured or judged.  

I don't think that it is the place of man to judge others.  John 8:7 states "Let he without sin cast the first stone." and John 8:15-16 states "Ye judge according to the flesh, I judge no one. And if also I judge, my judgment is true, because I am not alone, but I and the Father who has sent me."

In this aspect, shouldn't it be our duty to help others to find the right path and not disavow them?  It seems that JWs seem to think that they are the only ones that will be saved in the end.  All the rest of us will perish on the earth.

Would be interested in hearing what you have to say.

Thanks
Todd

Answer
Dear Todd,

I was raised as a Witness. My doubts started small and grew gradually. After many years of subtle doubts, I began to seriously doubt whether it was God's will for me to remain a Witness. Although I had serious doubts, I was also deeply indoctrinated. My mental processes were thoroughly conditioned by cult mind control tactics. So for a member of a cult to have "serious doubts" is very much more dramatic and tumultuous than it would be for a person unaffected by cult mind control tactics.

I was stuck for a very long time, unable to go forward and unable to go backward. Yes, I held doubts, but I also felt the stakes were very high if I were to make a mistake in this vital matter; as the Witnesses taught me that the eternal lives of my entire family hung in the balance if I were to leave the Witnesses.

My most significant doubt was based on John 13:35, "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." When I lived decades within the Witness organization finding only superficial "love" and conditional approval among "brothers", it did not phase me because I knew nothing better. But when I finally discovered what unconditional brotherly love is by experiencing it OUTSIDE their organization, that discovery was crippling to my faith in the Witnesses as God's "chosen vessel" based on John 13:35.

There came a time that I decided to pray about whether I should remain a Witness. And when I felt I received an answer to that prayer in the negative, I was suddenly no longer stuck, and could once again begin to move forward with my life. I ceased attending meetings immediately.

This escape amounted to a new beginning. My life only began at that point. This new beginning would never have been possible for me had I relied upon my own impaired judgement; but was only possible because I received a clear directive from God answering my doubts, in the form of an explicit sign that I asked for and immediately received.

Sure, the Witness elders asked to meet with me because they wanted to know why. But what could they say to contradict a sign from God himself?

I would speculate that your interpretation of what the other commentator meant, "I'm thinking it has something to do with the fact that they JWs made so many prophecies as to when the world would end and none of them came true" is correct. Yes, that is probably what he meant, based on what I know of the subject. Failure of dates, in my case a reinterpretation of the timeline that came in 1995, was one of my serious doubts.

Your observation is astute about pressure and judgementalism of Witnesses.

They are always extremely judgemental, meaning they use their conclusions about people as an excuse to withhold compassion. Tragically, I was aware of the concept of judgementalism, but with a particular Witness-induced blind spot, was completely unable to see myself as a judgemental person, later realizing and regretting I was most definitely so. So a major part of my recovery was discovering my past judgemental behaviors and eliminating them.

The Witness mental gymnastic that makes it impossible for individuals to see themselves as judgemental is this: They consider it proper to cease socializing with a person who they believe fails to obey God while knowing better based on a passage from Corinthians, "bad associations spoil useful habits". This scripture notably does not say "associates", that is persons, but rather says "associations", that is behaviors. So the scripture does not warn against certain persons but rather against certain behaviors or circumstances. The Witnesses may sometimes realize this in theory. But in practice, they behave as if that scripture justifies the permanent cessation of socializing with a particular individual. This is fundamentally a judgemental behavior.

They also exert pressure in many ways; always believing they are doing so for the BENEFIT of their students. It is a case of thinking that the end justifies the means. For people who believe they are saving the eternal life of their students, the end becomes all-important, and the means becomes less so. Early pressures are very light, mainly consisting of love-bombing. Gradually the pressures increase. The further along a student gets in their progress, the more is expected of them. Eventually, if they do not meet the increasing expectations, the Witness will terminate the bible study and treat the student as a traitor.

I agree completely that it isn't our place to judge one another, and this is what the bible teaches. But the Witnesses put more emphasis on "bad associations" than John 8 or "God is love".

"What is our spiritual duty?" is a theological question, and I do not comment on theology. I trust you will be inspired to find the path God wants you to find. But in general as a neighbor, I agree that it is far better to help others find their highest good than to turn our backs on them. The most fundamental basis of law and religion and society and family is compassion for others, which Witnesses disavow because their eschatological theology (which affects every aspect of their being) seems to justify doing so.

Yes, they believe they will be the only survivors of Armageddon, and that the rest will perish; that is, that most or all of the survivors of Armageddon will be Witnesses. They believe this because they think they are the ones who are uniquely doing God's will, and that non-Witnesses fall far short of doing, or even knowing, God's will.

It is not so much Witness theology that I object to, but rather their organizational policies which undermine family integrity, and their use of cult mind control tactics which undermine freedom of mind.

Organizations that deprive individuals of choice by circumventing their capacity to exercise their natural critical thinking faculties do not deserve the freedom of operation that other organizations deserve; because the fundamental reason why governments protect freedom of religion is so that individuals will have free choice.

I would strongly recommend that you and your wife temporarily discontinue your study with the Witnesses, and first innoculate yourselves against cult mind control tactics, so that you will be able to recognize those tactics when you encounter them, whether among Witnesses or any other organization.

If you yourself already agree with this course of action, but your wife alone decides to pursue her study with the Witnesses, you have a difficult struggle ahead. In that case, I recommend you quickly obtain and read the book, "Releasing the Bonds" by Steven Hassan. She will not have any overt grounds to object to this because the author is not a former Witness, nor does he mention Witnesses in his books. Nevertheless, it may be wise to use discretion as you read and digest such a book, because the Witnesses are very crafty about how they teach their students to expect and resist family objections to their indoctrination. She is being taught to expect resistance from family members, and even that you yourself would be an agent of the Devil if you were to resist her in her studies.

You won't want your wife's defenses to go up, making her impervious to your concerns, before you have an opportunity to educate yourself about how to get through to her. So I recommend reading the book privately before you speak to her about your concerns.

I hope this is helpful to you. Blessings to you and your family. You deserve more love, joy, peace, and freedom than you will get while engaged with the Witnesses.

Best wishes,
Andrew