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Critics of Jehovah`s Witnesses/Opening the closed mind of Jehovah's Witnesses
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Question
Hi Andrew
My mum and sister are Jehovah's Witnesses & I am an ex JW. Often they have a go at preaching to me. I have until recently quickly changed the subject.
Last time I asked asked them where in the bible it says I can't celebrate my birthday? Of course they mentioned the two occasions when people in the bible had a bad time. But they could not name a scripture.
They then ask where I think I go when I die? I said heaven. The quoted a scripture that only 144.000 go to heaven. They always have an answer for everything grrrrrr.
What I would like to ask you is how can I get them stuck. I do have a copy of Crisis of conscience but it looks quite deep. A bit like reading another bible and would take quite a while to get through.
What I would like is something short and sweet where I can get them stuck & get them thinking.
Jackie
Dear Jackie,
As you probably know by now, it is very difficult to counter their intellectual arguments with intellectual arguments, since they are so exhaustive in their training along those lines.
So perhaps a better approach in trying to stimulate thinking is to focus on areas where we are stronger and they are weaker. They do not exercise critical thinking faculties, we may. They do not endeavor to have any direct connection to God (but only through their organization), we may. They close their eyes to the errors in their organizational policy and system of logic, we do not.
Still, any questions to stimulate thinking in them will only succeed if they are introduced very gently, which may mean open-endedly. If you use questions to stimulate thought, for which there is only one fairly obvious answer, even that obviousness may strike them too abruptly, thereby causing them to raise their mental defenses again.
It is very difficult to walk the razor's edge of stimulating thought just enough to make them think without raising their defenses, which would again shut down their thinking. You must walk the razor's edge on this and be willing to use sublety and patience in order to succeed; and even then there are no guarantees. Be ready for the possibility that you might invest decades trying, only to fail.
Do not allow your thinking to play into the Witness stereotypes about former members. We do not use subtlety because of any similarity to the devil, not because of any attempt to introduce falsehood slyly. Rather we must use subtlety because they themselves are ensnared by a deceptive system which is very thorough at controlling their minds, and regaining freedom requires they navigate an extremely complex labyrinth in order to find their way out.
Likewise, in order to help them, we must navigate the labyrinth somewhat from the outside in, in order to shine lights they will begin to see and hopefully follow.
One of the chinks in their armor is their concept of a spirit-directed organization. If spirit directs their organization, what is the method of direction? How does spirit direct the Governing Body members? Do they cast the Urim and Thummim like dice to get answers to questions as the ancient Israelites did? There is a weak point in their system of logic because they insist on two contradictory points of logic:
1) The organization is spirit-directed
2) There is no mechanism of direction
Of course the logical conclusion is that if there is no mechanism of direction, there is no direction; but members blind themselves to this somewhat obvious logical conclusion.
The organization must insist on (1) in order to maintain their control over the flock. They must insist on (2) in order not to appear ridiculous for PR reasons. This is a chink you might use.
Another chink in their armor is their teaching that the end is always near. Ask them to do exhaustive research in Watchtower literature to make a list of each time the Watchtower Society has predicted a date for the end of the world. You also do exhaustive research using Watchtower literature and resources offered by former Witnesses such as http://freeminds.org Your list will be longer than theirs, because they do not allow themselves to look at non-Witness literature, and because their indexes exclude certain old Watchtower publications that contain "inconvenient" facts. Then come together again with your relatives and ask them why their research missed these other examples your research produced? Is the Watchtower Society hiding something about it's history and methods?
Another chink in their armor involves love. If your relatives are emotionally very aware, this may work. It will require a different approach, because it does not involve intellectual arguments. Set up situations in which they can begin to experience the meaning of the bible passage, "God is Love". Set up situations in which they can begin to see the contradiction of judgement and condemnation by a being who IS LOVE.
Best of success to you. Keep in mind there is only so much we can do. Ultimately, your relatives may choose to stay lost, wandering in their labyrinth of deception. Yes, grown people do choose such things at times.
I'm sorry this has been a difficult experience for you. I understand your struggle. I really do.
Blessings,
AndrewXJW
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- Order of Operations
Andrew
Expertise
I don't object to Witness theology, but rather their use of social pressure & deceptive manipulations to undermine family ties and control minds. (This may seem contradictory to Witnesses, who draw no distinction between spiritual belief and organizational policy.) I do not engage in theological debate. I support persons impacted by an experience with the Witnesses and advocate early education for everyone so that they can protect themselves from cults by understanding what to watch out for. (It's not what most people think.)
(Ex-)Witnesses: I know how upsetting it is to experience doubts (or anger) about your experience. Time does not heal this wound until you first remove the splinter, which takes more time and effort than you may realize. So, unless you have already put in that time and effort, don't be surprised if you are deeply affected long after the experience. But there is good news! You're NOT an enemy of God for doubting or for failing to meet the requirements of a human organization. An organization that lies cannot be the exclusive spokesman for the God of Truth. Tell me where you're at. I'll understand. I can show you how to begin or continue your recovery and make a life for yourself worth living.
Non-Witnesses: Describe your experience with your friend/relative who is (becoming) a Witness. I can help you understand the Witness indoctrination and social dynamics that are affecting him or her. I can help you put your options into perspective. Keep in mind that people do make their own choices (even though they may sometimes do so under outside influence) and you may not be able to affect this person's choices, even though they impact on you. After all, you do not have the arsenal of tactics that a cult does (and wouldn't want to). A few people manage to save their friend/relative, but don't count on it. What you can count on is navigating the maze more successfully by becoming more informed about your own options.
Experience
I was a Witness for 30 years, and a volunteer at their headquarters in Brooklyn, New York, for a year. I have attended meetings with many Witness congregations across the United States, a thorough cross-section, carefully observing patterns of behavior. Although being a Witness was difficult, and I gradually had more and more doubts about Witness teachings--I was a true believer, so I kept trying to make it work somehow. I stopped attending meetings in 1997 only after receiving an answer to a prayer about doing so, and have since been actively involved in recovery. This includes both my own and supporting others in theirs. Recovery can include reading books, communicating with others in recovery, and participating in support groups and/or therapy. It always involves reclaiming one's own mind and discovering the other sides of the issues that you have been blinded to in the past.
My gradual awakening was socially, psychologically, and spiritually tumultuous. I lost everything from my former life. My suffering was substantial.
But I have gained everything, so it was worth it. Only after beginning my recovery did I gain social, psychological, and spiritual healing and growth, peace of mind, and self-respect. Only then did I discover who I am; and--for the first time--the meaning of real brotherly love.
For more resources on this topic, try these web sites:
http://freeminds.org/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/freedomofmind/
Education/Credentials
Like most Cult Recovery Counselors, I am a cult survivor. I have life experience, not professional training. Also I feel no need to apologize for that. People with professional training cannot understand what it is like to survive a cult unless they have been through it themselves, which few professional therapists have. Understanding what really happened and what works in this unusual social context is as important as psychological training. Most professional therapists are not specifically trained to support cult survivors. Those who are represent a rare and precious resource.
I sometimes refer people to professional therapists regarding deep personal issues. But surviving a cult is a broad experience with other dimensions. Professional therapy can be very helpful as part of your recovery process, assuming that you choose the right therapist. When choosing a therapist, remember that you are the client and they are a service provider. You are the one who holds authority about the relationship. You get to interview the therapist and decide which one to employ.
Be sure to ask what specific training and experience they have around recovery from cult mind control. Most therapists do not have relevant training. Some carry serious misunderstandings about what cult mind control is; and therefore will misunderstand your struggle. So it pays to be selective as a consumer of professional therapy services.
Past/Present Clients
The Witness organization is not like other churches. Most non-Witnesses really cannot imagine what it is like to be a Witness. The organization has unimaginably extensive rules and monitoring that affect every aspect of life, so there is no privacy and no sense of personal independence. "Independent thought" is considered their greatest "sin".
The organization insists on absolute conformity, and claims to directly represent God; so dissent is not tolerated, and authority is totalitarian. Being a Witness is more like living in China or the former Soviet Union than being a member of a religion as you know it. It was the research of Robert J. Lifton, who was studying--not religions--but totalitarian governments, who first began to illuminate the problem of religious cults around the world, which employ exactly the same tactics as totalitarian governments. His work remains a cornerstone for Cult Recovery Counselors still today. (This may be why many governments are tolerant of cults, to avoid exposing their own control tactics.)
Witnesses often experience unusually dysfunctional lives and an extensive array of personal problems stemming from broken family ties, stunted social development, inner unrest resulting from repressed doubts, inability to defend boundaries, and an extreme, persistent feeling of irrational shame. I can help people impacted by an experience with the Witnesses by revealing in detail the policies and social dynamics in the Witness organization that cause these problems.
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