Expert: Gordon Cook - 11/30/2007

Question
Greetings,
I have been dating a Jehovah's witness girl for about half a year, and known her for three years. We have had about 3 arguments about our religions. I'm a Catholic, and her religion believes that our belief of the Trinity is a form of Polytheism, when her religion has far more absurd ideas, such as their belief that education is a waste of time because it serves no purpose because the "Armageddon" is coming soon. Or their belief that whole blood should not be transfused, but partial amounts can. This is senseless. Its like eating a sandwich, but first the ham, later the bread, and maybe eventually the cheese, when a normal person would eat the sandwich all together. I try to show her the freedom of Catholics, and we are given freedom that way our judgement on whether we go to heaven or hell is unbiased and isnt manipulated or controlled like in her "religion".
I have done a good deal of research on JWs and I understand that her religion believes that a non-witness is "wordly" or to put it bluntly, evil.Does that mean she thinks i'm evil??
My main point is, i want to stay in my religion so badly, and she stays firm in hers, but the sad thing is, i am considering converting to her religion just to keep the relationship going. I love this girl very much for who she is, but her religion is stunting the growth of our love. I dont want to lose faith. I want to stay strong.And most importantly, I DONT WANT TO BREAK UP.Thoughts of just giving up and becoming agnostic have entered my mind. What should I do? I'm pleading for help, please accept. =(
Thank You

Answer
Hi
Unfortunately your situation is one that comes up quite often. Firstly its good that you have seen the falseness of JW teachings through your research. Their view of what they are taught on the Trinity is distorted. For instance that Trinitarians worship "three gods", when there is only one God.
Yes, you are right on their view of education. One member of the JW Governing Body recently remarked that further education was like "putting a gun to your head"  because it would stop you getting through Armageddon.
You analogy of the blood issue is good. This doctrine has gradually been watered  down over the years. At one time nothing connectted with blood was allowed. Now they allow certain fractions and components. see www.ajwrb.org for more information.
You are again correct on how JW's view those outside the organisation. People are worldly, wicked, immoral, evil and under Satans influence. Of course this is used to frighten the JW in staying within the organisation, the world is terrible outside you are safer in "Jehovah's organisation".
It this control by a man-made organisation that keeps a JW in. You would have to show how she is letting herself be controlled by the teachings of men, teachings that can change overnight. Can they truly be from God is they have to keep changing when they don't work anymore?
You say you love the girl very much. But does being a JW means more than to her than love for you. Would converting to being a JW make YOU happy. Would it be a true conversion?
If you did you would be expected to do all that a JW is supposed to do.Attending all meetings, go on the door-to-door work etc. It will not be a question of going to the odd meeting or on the doors now and then. You will be expected to be at ALL meetings, do at an average 10 hours a month door-to-door work.
Also if you become a JW and want to leave you will find that you will be shunned by other JW's. Which would make it awkward for your friend.
Also if the Elders know she is dating a non-JW she could be facing pressure to end the relationship. As a JW is only supposed to marry a JW. Also any immorality before marriage could lead to her being disfellowshipped. Do other JW's know she is dating a non-JW? Does she regularly attend meetings and go on door-to-door work?
The fact that she is dating you a non-JW is interesting in that they are strongly encouraged not to.
Giving up your faith is not the answer. Would that make you happy?
You say you have done research on the JW's. Then use what you have learned. Show her how the Watchtower changes teachings and doctrines over the years, made false prophecies etc. If they are "God's organisation"  why do they need to keep changing?  Who does she follow God or what the Watchtower organsation tells her to believe.  Get yourself a book like "Answering Jehovahs Witnesses" by David Reed. See also websites www.freemind.org ; www.silentlambs.org
Please feel free to ask anything else.