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Critics of Jehovah`s Witnesses/Witness Children > Preserve Your Family > Don't Get Baptized
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Question
It is very sad, everytime I hear janko speak I hear a complete watchtower literature. I do not see an individual who is speaking in it's own mind by trusting only in God for wisdom. It is very obvious everything pointed out by Janko is all literature and not biblical. As if everything was taught by men. I can clearly see gaps when a witness speaks especially in Janko's writting.
Andrew, how long were you a bethelite?
By the way thanks for your service.
Dear Luis,
Thanks for your support.
I worked at the Watchtower world headquarters in Brooklyn, New York, for just over a year in the early 80's.
My 30-year career as a Witness also includes having been a member of many different congregations across the US, so this geographically broad experience is how I can tell the difference between intrinsic phenomena and local anomalies among the Witnesses.
I'm sure Janko is a good man, and like most Witnesses, I'm sure he means well. He only needs to learn to overcome judgementalism and embrace love.
I feel sad for the Witnesses, because they have to live in a social environment absolutely bereft of love, and riddled with shame. And that they exercise such complicated mind games, not only on others, but even on themselves, never even realizing it. That is what it takes to keep the doubts of common sense at bay. Life is hard, truly a thing to be endured, when there is no celebration of anything, and every step you take on every matter, no matter how minor, can so easily become a serious issue you can lose your whole world over.
Especially tragic it is for those who were raised as Witnesses. The poor children have no choice that they are born into such dysfunction; and as they mature, their only choice is to adopt the dysfunction as their own or walk away from their whole world. It is not fair that they don't have a better choice.
My advice to Witness children, if they should ever have an opportunity to hear, is to be respectful and try to keep an open mind, but DO NOT GET BAPTIZED until you are at old enough to move out on your own, and decide later when you are under less pressure whether to officially become a Witness through baptism. You can respectfully decline by saying "I want to make sure I'm old enough to understand such an important step before I take it".
They will pressure you to get baptized at age 13 or 14, and you may be the only one of your peers not yet baptized. But at least when you grow older and find it isn't for you, you will then have the option of choosing another path and not lose your family by doing so. (The Witnesses do not shun those who were never baptized; as they are thought to "know no better".)
Best wishes,
Andrew
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Andrew
Expertise
I don't object to Witness theology, but rather their use of social pressure & deceptive manipulations to undermine family ties and control minds. (This may seem contradictory to Witnesses, who draw no distinction between spiritual belief and organizational policy.) I do not engage in theological debate. I support persons impacted by an experience with the Witnesses and advocate early education for everyone so that they can protect themselves from cults by understanding what to watch out for. (It's not what most people think.)
(Ex-)Witnesses: I know how upsetting it is to experience doubts (or anger) about your experience. Time does not heal this wound until you first remove the splinter, which takes more time and effort than you may realize. So, unless you have already put in that time and effort, don't be surprised if you are deeply affected long after the experience. But there is good news! You're NOT an enemy of God for doubting or for failing to meet the requirements of a human organization. An organization that lies cannot be the exclusive spokesman for the God of Truth. Tell me where you're at. I'll understand. I can show you how to begin or continue your recovery and make a life for yourself worth living.
Non-Witnesses: Describe your experience with your friend/relative who is (becoming) a Witness. I can help you understand the Witness indoctrination and social dynamics that are affecting him or her. I can help you put your options into perspective. Keep in mind that people do make their own choices (even though they may sometimes do so under outside influence) and you may not be able to affect this person's choices, even though they impact on you. After all, you do not have the arsenal of tactics that a cult does (and wouldn't want to). A few people manage to save their friend/relative, but don't count on it. What you can count on is navigating the maze more successfully by becoming more informed about your own options.
Experience
I was a Witness for 30 years, and a volunteer at their headquarters in Brooklyn, New York, for a year. I have attended meetings with many Witness congregations across the United States, a thorough cross-section, carefully observing patterns of behavior. Although being a Witness was difficult, and I gradually had more and more doubts about Witness teachings--I was a true believer, so I kept trying to make it work somehow. I stopped attending meetings in 1997 only after receiving an answer to a prayer about doing so, and have since been actively involved in recovery. This includes both my own and supporting others in theirs. Recovery can include reading books, communicating with others in recovery, and participating in support groups and/or therapy. It always involves reclaiming one's own mind and discovering the other sides of the issues that you have been blinded to in the past.
My gradual awakening was socially, psychologically, and spiritually tumultuous. I lost everything from my former life. My suffering was substantial.
But I have gained everything, so it was worth it. Only after beginning my recovery did I gain social, psychological, and spiritual healing and growth, peace of mind, and self-respect. Only then did I discover who I am; and--for the first time--the meaning of real brotherly love.
For more resources on this topic, try these web sites:
http://freeminds.org/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/freedomofmind/
Education/Credentials
Like most Cult Recovery Counselors, I am a cult survivor. I have life experience, not professional training. Also I feel no need to apologize for that. People with professional training cannot understand what it is like to survive a cult unless they have been through it themselves, which few professional therapists have. Understanding what really happened and what works in this unusual social context is as important as psychological training. Most professional therapists are not specifically trained to support cult survivors. Those who are represent a rare and precious resource.
I sometimes refer people to professional therapists regarding deep personal issues. But surviving a cult is a broad experience with other dimensions. Professional therapy can be very helpful as part of your recovery process, assuming that you choose the right therapist. When choosing a therapist, remember that you are the client and they are a service provider. You are the one who holds authority about the relationship. You get to interview the therapist and decide which one to employ.
Be sure to ask what specific training and experience they have around recovery from cult mind control. Most therapists do not have relevant training. Some carry serious misunderstandings about what cult mind control is; and therefore will misunderstand your struggle. So it pays to be selective as a consumer of professional therapy services.
Past/Present Clients
The Witness organization is not like other churches. Most non-Witnesses really cannot imagine what it is like to be a Witness. The organization has unimaginably extensive rules and monitoring that affect every aspect of life, so there is no privacy and no sense of personal independence. "Independent thought" is considered their greatest "sin".
The organization insists on absolute conformity, and claims to directly represent God; so dissent is not tolerated, and authority is totalitarian. Being a Witness is more like living in China or the former Soviet Union than being a member of a religion as you know it. It was the research of Robert J. Lifton, who was studying--not religions--but totalitarian governments, who first began to illuminate the problem of religious cults around the world, which employ exactly the same tactics as totalitarian governments. His work remains a cornerstone for Cult Recovery Counselors still today. (This may be why many governments are tolerant of cults, to avoid exposing their own control tactics.)
Witnesses often experience unusually dysfunctional lives and an extensive array of personal problems stemming from broken family ties, stunted social development, inner unrest resulting from repressed doubts, inability to defend boundaries, and an extreme, persistent feeling of irrational shame. I can help people impacted by an experience with the Witnesses by revealing in detail the policies and social dynamics in the Witness organization that cause these problems.
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