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Critics of Jehovah`s Witnesses/Witnesses Have to Seek Recovery Clandestinely

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Question
hi, i came across your site, this is hard for me, but i want to believe what you say.  Im going and have been thru so much with the jw religion. This is highly confident.  Help me trust its okay to comment without being spyed on.

Answer
Dear Kathi,

It puts us through the wringer trying to be faithful to God by following the requirements of men. So I understand how you've "been thru so much". So was I.

And recovery from any cult experience is difficult because of the social and mental pressures that cult organizations exert on their members. Due to deception and an orchestrated system of cult tactics, the Witnesses really do use cult mind control; and I know that's hard to hear. So I feel for you. Take your time, consider the evidence, and THINK FOR YOURSELF rather than letting other people do so for you.

The social and mental pressures make it hard for Witnesses to leave the organization even after significant evidence and years of doubt. They pressure us to stay as if by holding for ransom our families, our friends, our relationship with God, even our eternal lives.

God is love and doesn't operate that way. You deserve freedom. I suggest you be cautious but not afraid. You have God within you.

It's good that you didn't give your last name or locality. Make sure you don't give any information that's personally identifiable, then you'll be OK.

There's also a setting on AllExperts.com when you ask a question to keep it "private", which means you and I will see the question, but the general public will not. If you don't check the "private" box, then others can see your question and my answer.

Also be careful about your computer. If you have another Witness who lives with you or has access to your computer, I suggest you use FireFox as your web browser, not Internet Explorer, because FireFox is trustworthy (open source), and a free download. When FireFox says it has erased your "private data"--it really has. See "Tools/ClearPrivateData" in the FireFox menu after visiting web sites you don't want family members to know you visited.

If you've already visited my area at AllExperts.com using Internet Explorer, try Tools/InternetOptions/General, then click "Delete Files" and "Clear History"; although it is still not as trustworthy as FireFox that it has really cleared all private data.

A simpler way might be to correspond with me from an Internet cafe using a computer that many people have access to, that way if anything sensitive is found on the computer it can't be traced to you personally.

I'd be glad to offer you support if I can, and help you put your experience into perspective. I can help with that because I've been where you're at.

Let me know if you'd like further support.

Best wishes,
AndrewXJW

Critics of Jehovah`s Witnesses

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Expertise

I don't object to Witness theology, but rather their use of social pressure & deceptive manipulations to undermine family ties and control minds. (This may seem contradictory to Witnesses, who draw no distinction between spiritual belief and organizational policy.) I do not engage in theological debate. I support persons impacted by an experience with the Witnesses and advocate early education for everyone so that they can protect themselves from cults by understanding what to watch out for. (It's not what most people think.)

(Ex-)Witnesses: I know how upsetting it is to experience doubts (or anger) about your experience. Time does not heal this wound until you first remove the splinter, which takes more time and effort than you may realize. So, unless you have already put in that time and effort, don't be surprised if you are deeply affected long after the experience. But there is good news! You're NOT an enemy of God for doubting or for failing to meet the requirements of a human organization. An organization that lies cannot be the exclusive spokesman for the God of Truth. Tell me where you're at. I'll understand. I can show you how to begin or continue your recovery and make a life for yourself worth living.

Non-Witnesses: Describe your experience with your friend/relative who is (becoming) a Witness. I can help you understand the Witness indoctrination and social dynamics that are affecting him or her. I can help you put your options into perspective. Keep in mind that people do make their own choices (even though they may sometimes do so under outside influence) and you may not be able to affect this person's choices, even though they impact on you. After all, you do not have the arsenal of tactics that a cult does (and wouldn't want to). A few people manage to save their friend/relative, but don't count on it. What you can count on is navigating the maze more successfully by becoming more informed about your own options.

Experience

I was a Witness for 30 years, and a volunteer at their headquarters in Brooklyn, New York, for a year. I have attended meetings with many Witness congregations across the United States, a thorough cross-section, carefully observing patterns of behavior. Although being a Witness was difficult, and I gradually had more and more doubts about Witness teachings--I was a true believer, so I kept trying to make it work somehow. I stopped attending meetings in 1997 only after receiving an answer to a prayer about doing so, and have since been actively involved in recovery. This includes both my own and supporting others in theirs. Recovery can include reading books, communicating with others in recovery, and participating in support groups and/or therapy. It always involves reclaiming one's own mind and discovering the other sides of the issues that you have been blinded to in the past.

My gradual awakening was socially, psychologically, and spiritually tumultuous. I lost everything from my former life. My suffering was substantial.

But I have gained everything, so it was worth it. Only after beginning my recovery did I gain social, psychological, and spiritual healing and growth, peace of mind, and self-respect. Only then did I discover who I am; and--for the first time--the meaning of real brotherly love.

For more resources on this topic, try these web sites:
http://freeminds.org/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/freedomofmind/



Education/Credentials
Like most Cult Recovery Counselors, I am a cult survivor. I have life experience, not professional training. Also I feel no need to apologize for that. People with professional training cannot understand what it is like to survive a cult unless they have been through it themselves, which few professional therapists have. Understanding what really happened and what works in this unusual social context is as important as psychological training. Most professional therapists are not specifically trained to support cult survivors. Those who are represent a rare and precious resource.

I sometimes refer people to professional therapists regarding deep personal issues. But surviving a cult is a broad experience with other dimensions. Professional therapy can be very helpful as part of your recovery process, assuming that you choose the right therapist. When choosing a therapist, remember that you are the client and they are a service provider. You are the one who holds authority about the relationship. You get to interview the therapist and decide which one to employ.

Be sure to ask what specific training and experience they have around recovery from cult mind control. Most therapists do not have relevant training. Some carry serious misunderstandings about what cult mind control is; and therefore will misunderstand your struggle. So it pays to be selective as a consumer of professional therapy services.

Past/Present Clients
The Witness organization is not like other churches. Most non-Witnesses really cannot imagine what it is like to be a Witness. The organization has unimaginably extensive rules and monitoring that affect every aspect of life, so there is no privacy and no sense of personal independence. "Independent thought" is considered their greatest "sin".

The organization insists on absolute conformity, and claims to directly represent God; so dissent is not tolerated, and authority is totalitarian. Being a Witness is more like living in China or the former Soviet Union than being a member of a religion as you know it. It was the research of Robert J. Lifton, who was studying--not religions--but totalitarian governments, who first began to illuminate the problem of religious cults around the world, which employ exactly the same tactics as totalitarian governments. His work remains a cornerstone for Cult Recovery Counselors still today. (This may be why many governments are tolerant of cults, to avoid exposing their own control tactics.)

Witnesses often experience unusually dysfunctional lives and an extensive array of personal problems stemming from broken family ties, stunted social development, inner unrest resulting from repressed doubts, inability to defend boundaries, and an extreme, persistent feeling of irrational shame. I can help people impacted by an experience with the Witnesses by revealing in detail the policies and social dynamics in the Witness organization that cause these problems.

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