Critics of Jehovah`s Witnesses/------------------------- ...

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Expert: - 4/15/2004


Question
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Followup To
Question -
Any more data on causes of above symptoms?
Answer -
Dear Cary,

"More data" suggests there was initial data. I'm not aware of having written you before. "Above symptoms" refers to what? It sounds like you have me mixed up with someone else.

If you have a question for me, please ask a complete


question with context. Thank you.
I would like know specifically why the problems occur.

These problems include broken family ties, stunted social development, inner unrest resulting from repressed doubts, inability to defend boundaries, and an extreme, persistent feeling of shame for no apparent reason.

Cary

Answer
Dear Cary,

Thanks for the clarification. Now I understand what you're asking, and will try to answer, although the answer is far more complex than the question...

Jehovah's Witnesses consider their religious doctrines more important than anything else, as they believe they come quite directly from God. Organizational policies likewise are considered virtually God's word, as the organization is supposedly "spirit-directed" and the "visible part of God's heavenly organization".

Therefore, everything else takes a back seat, including family ties. If your sister or mother or son were to break a rule they consider grave (and there are hundreds of such rules), you would be obliged to turn him in in order to "keep the congregation clean". If organizational mandates can be prioritized ahead of family loyalty, then anything can happen, and does.

Witnesses are taught not to have any friends except other Witnesses. Many Witnesses have noted that they have "automatic friends" whenever they visit a new place just by finding the local Kingdom Hall. When friends are automatic, one never has to work at developing friendships, and therefore never develops the social skills required to do so. Friends are always tentative, however. There are no unconditional friendships among Witnesses that others take for granted. If you're always on guard that your best friend might turn you in for a trivial offense, you never really get close to anyone. Imagine how that would impact the social development of a person who never knew any other environment.

Witnesses like me are the "bad" ones. I eventually brought my doubts into the light and examined them. When doubts are brought into the conscious mind, and ideas are considered on their own merit rather than based on associations and consequences for not believing, when a question is considered from all sides rather than ignoring half the data which does not support a preconceived answer, different conclusions are reached. In order to avoid such an open examination, and continue to support beliefs approved by the organization, "good" Witnesses have to repress doubt, ignore data, and avoid logical/critical thinking. This naturally causes inner unrest over time. When the pain of the inner unrest exceeds the pain of losing everything you care about, that's when Witnesses finally leave the organization.

Witnesses are taught to submit to the organization in every respect, because the organization represents God to them. If an elder probes into private personal matters, Witnesses must comply and answer any and all questions willingly and without hesitation. The real reason tens of thousands of Witnesses get excommunicated ("disfellowshipped") each year is because they did not comply with such probing questions, and therefore did not appear "repentant" for supposed sins. No boundaries are recognized. This conditions Witnesses not to defend any. This means never drawing healthy boundaries, not defending body space, never defending mind space.

Witnesses are not capable of saying, "whatever" and calmly walking away from an elder (representative of the organization), because they stand to lose everything: family, friends, home, community, their God, even their lives. Witnesses are so mentally conditioned that most who leave the organization never recover, considering themselves for the rest of their lives an enemy of God, destined to die. The suicide rate among former Witnesses is very high, because most never find recovery.

For most non-Witnesses, guilt can be constructive, because it tells us when we've done something wrong, and we can catch ourselves or make another choice or make restitution. However, shame serves no useful purpose. Shame is the inherent feeling, not that you have done a wrong, but that you are inherently wrong in your nature. There is no reason for it. Ultimately, shame is a device used by one group of people to control another. Witnesses have raised it to an art form.

This is why these problems occur. I hope this serves to answer your question.

Best wishes,
Andrew

Critics of Jehovah`s Witnesses

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I don't object to Witness theology, but rather their use of social pressure & deceptive manipulations to undermine family ties and control minds. (This may seem contradictory to Witnesses, who draw no distinction between spiritual belief and organizational policy.) I do not engage in theological debate. I support persons impacted by an experience with the Witnesses and advocate early education for everyone so that they can protect themselves from cults by understanding what to watch out for. (It's not what most people think.)

(Ex-)Witnesses: I know how upsetting it is to experience doubts (or anger) about your experience. Time does not heal this wound until you first remove the splinter, which takes more time and effort than you may realize. So, unless you have already put in that time and effort, don't be surprised if you are deeply affected long after the experience. But there is good news! You're NOT an enemy of God for doubting or for failing to meet the requirements of a human organization. An organization that lies cannot be the exclusive spokesman for the God of Truth. Tell me where you're at. I'll understand. I can show you how to begin or continue your recovery and make a life for yourself worth living.

Non-Witnesses: Describe your experience with your friend/relative who is (becoming) a Witness. I can help you understand the Witness indoctrination and social dynamics that are affecting him or her. I can help you put your options into perspective. Keep in mind that people do make their own choices (even though they may sometimes do so under outside influence) and you may not be able to affect this person's choices, even though they impact on you. After all, you do not have the arsenal of tactics that a cult does (and wouldn't want to). A few people manage to save their friend/relative, but don't count on it. What you can count on is navigating the maze more successfully by becoming more informed about your own options.

Experience

I was a Witness for 30 years, and a volunteer at their headquarters in Brooklyn, New York, for a year. I have attended meetings with many Witness congregations across the United States, a thorough cross-section, carefully observing patterns of behavior. Although being a Witness was difficult, and I gradually had more and more doubts about Witness teachings--I was a true believer, so I kept trying to make it work somehow. I stopped attending meetings in 1997 only after receiving an answer to a prayer about doing so, and have since been actively involved in recovery. This includes both my own and supporting others in theirs. Recovery can include reading books, communicating with others in recovery, and participating in support groups and/or therapy. It always involves reclaiming one's own mind and discovering the other sides of the issues that you have been blinded to in the past.

My gradual awakening was socially, psychologically, and spiritually tumultuous. I lost everything from my former life. My suffering was substantial.

But I have gained everything, so it was worth it. Only after beginning my recovery did I gain social, psychological, and spiritual healing and growth, peace of mind, and self-respect. Only then did I discover who I am; and--for the first time--the meaning of real brotherly love.

For more resources on this topic, try these web sites:
http://freeminds.org/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/freedomofmind/



Education/Credentials
Like most Cult Recovery Counselors, I am a cult survivor. I have life experience, not professional training. Also I feel no need to apologize for that. People with professional training cannot understand what it is like to survive a cult unless they have been through it themselves, which few professional therapists have. Understanding what really happened and what works in this unusual social context is as important as psychological training. Most professional therapists are not specifically trained to support cult survivors. Those who are represent a rare and precious resource.

I sometimes refer people to professional therapists regarding deep personal issues. But surviving a cult is a broad experience with other dimensions. Professional therapy can be very helpful as part of your recovery process, assuming that you choose the right therapist. When choosing a therapist, remember that you are the client and they are a service provider. You are the one who holds authority about the relationship. You get to interview the therapist and decide which one to employ.

Be sure to ask what specific training and experience they have around recovery from cult mind control. Most therapists do not have relevant training. Some carry serious misunderstandings about what cult mind control is; and therefore will misunderstand your struggle. So it pays to be selective as a consumer of professional therapy services.

Past/Present Clients
The Witness organization is not like other churches. Most non-Witnesses really cannot imagine what it is like to be a Witness. The organization has unimaginably extensive rules and monitoring that affect every aspect of life, so there is no privacy and no sense of personal independence. "Independent thought" is considered their greatest "sin".

The organization insists on absolute conformity, and claims to directly represent God; so dissent is not tolerated, and authority is totalitarian. Being a Witness is more like living in China or the former Soviet Union than being a member of a religion as you know it. It was the research of Robert J. Lifton, who was studying--not religions--but totalitarian governments, who first began to illuminate the problem of religious cults around the world, which employ exactly the same tactics as totalitarian governments. His work remains a cornerstone for Cult Recovery Counselors still today. (This may be why many governments are tolerant of cults, to avoid exposing their own control tactics.)

Witnesses often experience unusually dysfunctional lives and an extensive array of personal problems stemming from broken family ties, stunted social development, inner unrest resulting from repressed doubts, inability to defend boundaries, and an extreme, persistent feeling of irrational shame. I can help people impacted by an experience with the Witnesses by revealing in detail the policies and social dynamics in the Witness organization that cause these problems.

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