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| Subject | Date Asked | Expert |
| Evidence as a Basis for Reasoning | 5/30/2010 | Andrew |
| Q: I am back with the Jehovah's witness girl I already mentioned a couple of weeks ago. Everything ... A: It sounds like you plan to discover more evidence, and use that as a basis for reasoning. Please ... | ||
| truth | 5/26/2010 | Gordon Cook |
| Q: i have been witnessing to a j.w and have seemed to have bought him to a realization that Jesus is ... A: The JW view that Christ is Saviour is different from the Christian view. They in a sense do not ... | ||
| Witnesses preying upon the handicapped | 5/11/2010 | Andrew |
| Q: I work with adults with developmental disabilities (mild mental retardation), and two of my clients ... A: This is ghastly. I'm so sorry that you find yourself in this ever-so-awkward and ever-so-outrageous ... | ||
| I know this is insane | 5/9/2010 | Andrew |
| Q: As written on the other follow ups question dear Andrew; I have used my previous experiences to ... A: It's wonderful that you have worked to overcome fears, and therefore are now less driven by them. I ... | ||
| Love and Determination | 5/9/2010 | Andrew |
| Q: I have been a best friend to a Jehovah's witness for over 2 years now (and still are) but for the ... A: I see that she means a lot to you, and you may have the determination it takes to help her overcome ... | ||
| Gravity of the Danger Ahead | 5/9/2010 | Andrew |
| Q: I have been a best friend to a Jehovah's witness for over 2 years now (and still are) but for the ... A: Your assessment that the JW's in the UK are significantly different from JW's elsewhere in the world ... | ||
| Danger of "Studying the Bible" with JW's | 5/9/2010 | Andrew |
| Q: I have been a best friend to a Jehovah's witness for over 2 years now (and still are) but for the ... A: By "learning what the Truth is from a JW point" of view and studying "the bible" with them, without ... | ||
| FROM ME A BAPTIST/ JESUS OWN WORDS! | 3/25/2010 | Andrew |
| Q: My question to you is and WITHOUT YOUR OPINIONS OR THE USE OF THE DOCTRINE OF THE TRINITY, but ONLY ... A: Sorry, but theology is beyond my area of expertise. My area of expertise is freedom of mind and ... | ||
| Razor's Edge with Father in Law | 3/16/2010 | Andrew |
| Q: Many thanks in advance for taking the time to answer my question. I have quickly read your responses ... A: Also, thank you for stating your question so clearly. I think I understand the scenario you're ... | ||
| A Deeply Ingrained Habit of Mind Games | 2/27/2010 | Andrew |
| Q: My boyfriend basically courted me for months trying to get me to go out with him. He was always a ... A: I'm sorry you've had a difficult experience with your lover, who is a Witness. I suggest you count ... | ||
| Nightmare of Marriage to a Witness | 1/25/2010 | Andrew |
| Q: I met and married a man who was Disfellowshipped from the Kingdom Hall. Soon after we married, he ... A: I'm glad for your long-term freedom of mind that you discovered the mess before you became fully ... | ||
| Taking Decisive Steps in Time | 1/9/2010 | Andrew |
| Q: Good evening Andrew, Gradually for the past six months, my mother has become more involved with ... A: so that others can benefit from your experience. I'm so glad you wrote me, because in your case ... | ||
| Lost family to JW's; Long term effects | 1/8/2010 | Andrew |
| Q: Would like for you to read some email exchanges between me and my 34 year old son. Give your ... A: You're welcome. Congrats on your book. I hope your book serves the purpose of helping other families ... | ||
| Lost family to JW's; Long term effects | 1/7/2010 | Andrew |
| Q: Would like for you to read some email exchanges between me and my 34 year old son. Give your ... A: I'm so sorry your family members have turned their backs on you. I know from first-hand experience ... | ||
| Annoying Jehovah's Witnesses | 1/3/2010 | Andrew |
| Q: I noticed that you commented about annoying Jehovah's Witnesses. They bother me too. Except that I ... A: I understand you feel annoyed by Jehovah's Witnesses because they knock on your door without calling ... | ||
| Abused 16-year-old | 12/15/2009 | Andrew |
| Q: what should a 16yr is being mentally abuse by a jehovah witness...? A: I will try to help as best I can if the scenario is within my area of expertise. Please clarify so I ... | ||
| Obstacles to rewarding relationship w/unrecovered XJW | 11/24/2009 | Andrew |
| Q: Andrew - Thank you so much for taking the time to read through this. I've been dating a guy for ... A: I'm so sorry for your conflict and turmoil about this relationship. > he drinks occasionally...all ... | ||
| Dating between Witnesses and non-Witnesses Causes Suffering | 11/16/2009 | Andrew |
| Q: I was raised Catholic and feel in love with a JW girl. She has been my friend for a long time. After ... A: On the one hand, congratulations that you have found something pleasant. On the other hand, I am ... | ||
| The devastating effects of normal dating | 11/11/2009 | Andrew |
| Q: For the past 14months I have been dating and having a sexual relationship with a non-practicing ... A: > From the beginning I was honest and upfront about what I wanted > from a relationship. It was by ... | ||
| Young love between a Baptist and a Witness | 11/4/2009 | Andrew |
| Q: I'm 15 years old. And I am a Baptist young man. I have fallen in love with a wonderful young girl ... A: > her mother said she and her husband are trying to raise > her daughter to be a pure Christian. ... | ||
| Marriage between Witness & non-Witness | 11/3/2009 | Andrew |
| Q: I have been with my partner almost 1 yr not till 3wks into r relationship did he tell me that he is ... A: > To be honest i have no idea what a J.W is all about Some of us hold the position that they are ... | ||
| Marriage between Witness & non-Witness | 11/3/2009 | Andrew |
| Q: I have been with my partner almost 1 yr not till 3wks into r relationship did he tell me that he is ... A: You haven't given me much specific information about your case so that I could zoom in and respond ... | ||
| Surrounded by Witnesses | 10/31/2009 | Andrew |
| Q: I recently started working at a place that has several JW employees. They are not being agressive ... A: You are in a situation where your intellectual certainty about what seems wrong with the Witness ... | ||
| Dangerous Intimate Partnership | 10/10/2009 | Andrew |
| Q: I am a non-witness and began dating a witness a few months ago. From the beginning he told me he ... A: I'm so sorry you got in so deep without knowing what was involved. Witnesses should have "danger" ... | ||
| Witness insanity & divided households | 9/30/2009 | Andrew |
| Q: Some Background I married a JW 4 yrs ago, one of the nicest people I know. All of her family are at ... A: In order for a Witness to marry a non-Witness, your wife would have had to be in a state of decline ... | ||
| Friendliness to preachers? | 9/30/2009 | Andrew |
| Q: Just finished a "visit" from a couple of JW's (they have actually been coming around for a couple of ... A: I understand your desire to be friendly with the visiting Witness preachers. However, they are not ... | ||
| The Plausible Deniability Campaign of JW's | 9/23/2009 | Andrew |
| Q: Andrew. I realize that you are an ex-witness. Sorry to hear that. But your discussions about how ... A: I realize you are under the spell of cult mind control as practiced by the Witnesses, and therefore ... | ||
| Sometimes Better Off as a Witness? | 9/22/2009 | Andrew |
| Q: My mom is just such a wonderful person. I was raised in a Lutheran home, we went to church on ... A: If she is only 55, and grandkids are likely at some point, I think you should try to steer her away ... | ||
| Sometimes Better Off as a Witness? | 9/22/2009 | Andrew |
| Q: My mom is just such a wonderful person. I was raised in a Lutheran home, we went to church on ... A: There isn't just one right answer to every question. Although I would rarely look at it from this ... | ||
| will it work? | 9/19/2009 | Andrew |
| Q: I'm a non jw but my boyfriend is. we've been dating for about two years now and he has promised me ... A: Based on the limited information available to me, no, I don't think it will work. Although ... | ||
| Dangers of Association Between Witness & Non-Witness | 8/2/2009 | Andrew |
| Q: Recently I started a new job and learnt that my manager is a practising Jehovah's Witness. He ... A: I don't think you have anything to worry about in terms of getting your manager in trouble with his ... | ||
| Witnesses & Masturbation | 7/30/2009 | Andrew |
| Q: Why do Jehovah's Witnesses see male masturbation as such a bad sin? A: My area of expertise involves the social and psychological dynamics used by Jehovah's Witnesses ... | ||
| Friend converting -- not healthy. | 7/6/2009 | Andrew |
| Q: My best friend met a guy at the end of last year who had been exiled from the congregation for ... A: I don't know your friend personally, and there is huge variation from person to person; but based on ... | ||
| Who Can Speak for God? | 6/17/2009 | Andrew |
| Q: My two best friends have become Jehovah witness. I have studied with my cousin who is also Jehovah ... A: My area of expertise is exposing cult tactics in the preservation of family integrity and freedom of ... | ||
| Who Can Speak for God? | 6/12/2009 | Andrew |
| Q: My two best friends have become Jehovah witness. I have studied with my cousin who is also Jehovah ... A: I think it is insightful and wise of you to avoid fundamentalism. It is arrogant for men to speak ... | ||
| Getting a visit from a JW girl | 6/11/2009 | Gordon Cook |
| Q: I wanted to ask for some advise, because I'm getting a visit from a JW girl, that I have knowen for ... A: Firstly let me say that I am surprised that a JW, is going to visit you, in fact that she has a ... | ||
| where am i | 6/11/2009 | Andrew |
| Q: i wanted to say hi and find out who you are. i imagine the possibility you know me or someone in my ... A: I feel it's essential to achieve a state of somewhat complete recovery before we can enjoy a new ... | ||
| Confused by JW's ex boyfriend actions | 6/9/2009 | Gordon Cook |
| Q: 4 months ago I met a guy who had recently left his wife. He left after finding out she had been ... A: By the sounds of it you have hit JW double standards. Yes he was quite happy to smoke, drink, have ... | ||
| working for homosexuals and accepting charity | 5/24/2009 | Gordon Cook |
| Q: Both my sister and husband are landscapers. In the past three years their main clients have been ... A: Firstly working for homosexuals. I don't think that would conflict with their beliefs. They are ... | ||
| new findings | 4/6/2009 | Gordon Cook |
| Q: I have come across some information that jws can't become a police man, does that pertain to the ... A: I will try to answer you questions as best as I can, from what I recall having been a JW. 1) Police ... | ||
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Top Expert on this page
I don't object to Witness theology, but rather their use of social pressure & deceptive manipulations to undermine family ties and control minds. (This may seem contradictory to Witnesses, who draw no distinction between spiritual belief and organizational policy.) I do not engage in theological debate. I support persons impacted by an experience with the Witnesses and advocate early education for everyone so that they can protect themselves from cults by understanding what to watch out for. (It's not what most people think.)
(Ex-)Witnesses: I know how upsetting it is to experience doubts (or anger) about your experience. Time does not heal this wound until you first remove the splinter, which takes more time and effort than you may realize. So, unless you have already put in that time and effort, don't be surprised if you are deeply affected long after the experience. But there is good news! You're NOT an enemy of God for doubting or for failing to meet the requirements of a human organization. An organization that lies cannot be the exclusive spokesman for the God of Truth. Tell me where you're at. I'll understand. I can show you how to begin or continue your recovery and make a life for yourself worth living.
Non-Witnesses: Describe your experience with your friend/relative who is (becoming) a Witness. I can help you understand the Witness indoctrination and social dynamics that are affecting him or her. I can help you put your options into perspective. Keep in mind that people do make their own choices (even though they may sometimes do so under outside influence) and you may not be able to affect this person's choices, even though they impact on you. After all, you do not have the arsenal of tactics that a cult does (and wouldn't want to). A few people manage to save their friend/relative, but don't count on it. What you can count on is navigating the maze more successfully by becoming more informed about your own options.
I was a Witness for 30 years, and a volunteer at their headquarters in Brooklyn, New York, for a year. I have attended meetings with many Witness congregations across the United States, a thorough cross-section, carefully observing patterns of behavior. Although being a Witness was difficult, and I gradually had more and more doubts about Witness teachings--I was a true believer, so I kept trying to make it work somehow. I stopped attending meetings in 1997 only after receiving an answer to a prayer about doing so, and have since been actively involved in recovery. This includes both my own and supporting others in theirs. Recovery can include reading books, communicating with others in recovery, and participating in support groups and/or therapy. It always involves reclaiming one's own mind and discovering the other sides of the issues that you have been blinded to in the past.
My gradual awakening was socially, psychologically, and spiritually tumultuous. I lost everything from my former life. My suffering was substantial.
But I have gained everything, so it was worth it. Only after beginning my recovery did I gain social, psychological, and spiritual healing and growth, peace of mind, and self-respect. Only then did I discover who I am; and--for the first time--the meaning of real brotherly love.
For more resources on this topic, try these web sites:
http://freeminds.org/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/freedomofmind/
Education/Credentials
Like most Cult Recovery Counselors, I am a cult survivor. I have life experience, not professional training. Also I feel no need to apologize for that. People with professional training cannot understand what it is like to survive a cult unless they have been through it themselves, which few professional therapists have. Understanding what really happened and what works in this unusual social context is as important as psychological training. Most professional therapists are not specifically trained to support cult survivors. Those who are represent a rare and precious resource.
I sometimes refer people to professional therapists regarding deep personal issues. But surviving a cult is a broad experience with other dimensions. Professional therapy can be very helpful as part of your recovery process, assuming that you choose the right therapist. When choosing a therapist, remember that you are the client and they are a service provider. You are the one who holds authority about the relationship. You get to interview the therapist and decide which one to employ.
Be sure to ask what specific training and experience they have around recovery from cult mind control. Most therapists do not have relevant training. Some carry serious misunderstandings about what cult mind control is; and therefore will misunderstand your struggle. So it pays to be selective as a consumer of professional therapy services.
Past/Present Clients
The Witness organization is not like other churches. Most non-Witnesses really cannot imagine what it is like to be a Witness. The organization has unimaginably extensive rules and monitoring that affect every aspect of life, so there is no privacy and no sense of personal independence. "Independent thought" is considered their greatest "sin".
The organization insists on absolute conformity, and claims to directly represent God; so dissent is not tolerated, and authority is totalitarian. Being a Witness is more like living in China or the former Soviet Union than being a member of a religion as you know it. It was the research of Robert J. Lifton, who was studying--not religions--but totalitarian governments, who first began to illuminate the problem of religious cults around the world, which employ exactly the same tactics as totalitarian governments. His work remains a cornerstone for Cult Recovery Counselors still today. (This may be why many governments are tolerant of cults, to avoid exposing their own control tactics.)
Witnesses often experience unusually dysfunctional lives and an extensive array of personal problems stemming from broken family ties, stunted social development, inner unrest resulting from repressed doubts, inability to defend boundaries, and an extreme, persistent feeling of irrational shame. I can help people impacted by an experience with the Witnesses by revealing in detail the policies and social dynamics in the Witness organization that cause these problems.

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