Expert: Andrew Foley - 12/14/2007

Question
If a born again Christian is struggling with sinful THOUGHTS(ie he does'nt want to commit it .... but commits it deliberatel losing control....) Will God forgive him....if he asks for forgiveness????
How do we control our thought life to lead a life pleasing to God?

Answer
Hello and thanks for writing! Without knowing more, I'm going to assume a few things: First, you're a man. Second, your sinful thoughts involve sex somehow. Third, for the sake of argument, I'll assume that you're referring strictly to sinful thoughts, and not actions.

I'd like to first make it clear that I am not extremely well versed on this subject, so you should take my thoughts for what they're worth, as coming from a fellow Christian who is on the same earthly journey as yourself. My position is this: being human beings, we are going to have sinful thoughts, particularly sexual. As creatures of the flesh, sex is a natural instinct of our bodies. When a beautiful women crosses our path, showing off most of her attributes, there's not a <straight> man alive who's not going to look on her in a lustful way. That's only natural. The sin- and thoughts can indeed be sinful- is when we indulge such thoughts for our sensual enjoyment, when we purposely allow those thoughts to stay in our heads, or intentionally call them forth to satisfy a sinful instinct. I once heard a preacher say something to the effect of "You can't prevent a bird from flying over your head, but you can stop him from perching on it." That's a wise and true statement. Satan is constantly tempting us, but we have the power to resist. As Christians, we have the help of the Holy Spirit to enable us to "...take every thought captive in obedience to Christ." (2 Cor 10:5) We have the divine power to do so. The only question is do we have the will. There are as many suggestions out there as to the method of taking thoughts captive as there are Christians. A few links are:
http://www.navpress.com/EPubs/DisplayArticle/1/1.12.3.html
http://www.porn-free.org/thoughts.htm

Some recommend saying certain prayers, reading the Bible, etc. when temptation strikes. All of those are good suggestions, and I'd say that you have to choose the ones that work best for you. Two things I might suggest are #1.-Keep busy. An old saying is that "Idle hands are the devil's workshop." The same goes for an idle mind. Keep busy, especially with the things of God- read the Bible, pray regularly, apply God's Word to your daily life. Oftentimes, sinful thoughts assault us when we're laying awake in bed. Give yourself a full day and go to bed tired. #2.- When we Catholics confess our sins, we say the prayer called "The Act of Contrition." In it we promise to avoid the "near occasion of sin." That means that we're going to do our best to avoid those places, people and situations that tend to lead us into temptation and sin. If you tend to get sinful thoughts with a certain group of vulgar friends, it might be best to avoid them. If you get those sinful thoughts while surfing certain web sites, it might be best to provide some accountability for yourself. Put the computer in the living room where your family can see what you're doing. Put a picture of Jesus or the Virgin Mary next to your computer as a kind of visual reminder of your spiritual nature and an example of the kind of person you can be. A picture of your wife or child can also serve as a spur to holiness.

One last thing needs to be mentioned. Sometimes, a person who is morally self-aware can descend into the error of scrupulosity. That is when they can hold themselves to such high moral standards that the slightest sin can send them into a spiral of self-hatred and eventual revolt against God. They feel that since it's impossible to live up to the perfection they've set for themselves, they might as well not try. As Christians, we need to live in a balance of grace and law. If we lean too much towards the law, we become Pharisees. If we lean too much towards grace, we become antinomian (I don't need to obey any moral law.) Here's a good article about scrupulosity:
http://www.catholicculture.org/library/view.cfm?recnum=7431

As for forgiveness, of course God will forgive your sins. "Though your sins be like scarlet, they may become white as snow." (Isaiah 1:18) You need to be sorry for disobeying and honestly intend not to commit the sin again. As Catholics, we also believe that in most circumstances it is necessary to confess your sins to a priest. Jesus sent out a specifically commissioned group of men, His Apostles, to whom He gave the power to either forgive or retain sins. (JN 20:22). We don't believe that sins are forgiven simply by thinking "I'm sorry." If you're not Catholic, I can attest that verbally confessing my sins to another person, to one I believe was appointed by Christ, is an act of amazing relief. When the priest absolves me in the name of Christ, I_know_that my sins have been washed away. No doubt about it. Even the simple act of saying your sins out loud to another person is a transformative act. It is a very different thing from simply knowing in your head that you have sinned. I would encourage you to try it if you haven't already. There is one other factor in absolution- restitution, or penance. If we confess a theft, our sin isn't forgiven until we return the property we stole. If we murder someone, our sin isn't forgiven until we give ourselves up to face justice. All sin has consequences, even those that don't directly effect someone else. A priest may ask you to say certain prayers, or even do something concrete. For instance, a priest once gave me the "penance" of doing something good for a stranger that day. A priest can often give you pragmatic advice as to how to avoid temptation and sin. After all, it's his job and he's heard it all. But just know that your sins can and will be forgiven.