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About Philip Belove, Ed.D.
(Top Expert on this page)

Expertise
Hi. I`m Philip Belove (that is my name, really). I`m 60 and I`ve been a psychologist all my midlife, the past 25 years. My specialty has been counseling and coaching other midlife adults.  I think we all figure things out as we go along, but even more so at midlife. Being between 40-ish and 60-ish and single is like being a stranger in a strange land. I`ve learned which questions help people find their own way. I created this category, I publish a dating at midlife newsletter and I write articles for various web sites. My commitment is to help people 1) understand and improve how they deal with others, 2) understand the forces that rule the relationships they are in, and 3) make the decisions which will shape, or create, or end those relationships  so they achieve the goal of midlife development  to finally live with personal satisfaction. I`ve been divorced twice myself. I`m in a satisfying relationship with a fine person. I`m very interested in learning about your challenges and in offering what I can.

Experience
Professionally: Licensed Psychologist. Marriage and Family Therapist. Coach.Author. University Lecturer. Personally: I'm 61. I've probably made all the big mistakes, er, learned the big lessons.I've forgiven myself and made many apologies and I've made it into a good, stable, sweet relationship.
   

You are here:  Experts > People/Relationships > Divorce Support > Dating at Midlife

SubjectDate AskedExpert

dating7/21/2008Valerie
  Q: I recently found out that my old boyfriend from High School has been separated for 2 years after ...
  A: Lori, It seems to me from what you said is that your old boyfriend is cheating on his wife! There ...
teasing7/17/2008Leslie Meredith
  Q: I am 26 years old woman. I live with two roomates, they are both 24. I'm a very beautiful woman and ...
  A: Ana, Speak up for yourself. Their comments are unacceptable. Then take a look at W or Vogue for a ...
teasing7/17/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: I am 26 years old woman. I live with two roomates, they are both 24. I'm a very beautiful woman and ...
  A: I think it's already too toxic to fix and you'll have to either weather it or move or have a very ...
changing feelings...7/14/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: I'm 33, divorced for 6 years now and since then have been dating casually. I am a rare male that has ...
  A: Mark. Thanks for the follow up and the feedback. I’m afraid I don’t have very happy news for you. ...
lots of recent loss and now suddenly single at 35 and my 'rebound' doesn't know if he wants kids!7/12/2008Leslie Meredith
  Q: i have been dating the same guy for the past 2 years. we were friends for a few years before and got ...
  A: You have had to deal with so much in a very short amount of time. Be patient with yourself. It's ...
changing feelings...7/10/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: I'm 33, divorced for 6 years now and since then have been dating casually. I am a rare male that has ...
  A: There’s no telling whether your love for her is enough. You will be tested on it, that’s for sure. ...
dating6/26/2008Leslie Meredith
  Q: 1. Why is it that really beautiful women with nice personalities and successful careers ... seem to ...
  A: Mike, In a word: jealous. No one is supposed to be smart, beautiful, slender and ... NICE. To many, ...
married man6/22/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: Hey Phil, I met this handsome married guy, he has three kids. His wife and children live in another ...
  A: Sounds like a set up for a fling and Everything you said makes is sound like he is trying to create ...
Midlife Dating in a n Unusual, Transitional Situation?6/17/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: I'm a very attractive, tall, fit 53-year-old woman with a lot to offer a relationship. I'm looking ...
  A: You sound like a very interesting person. I have lots of friends like you and I'm sure my partner ...
Jealous6/14/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: I have been dating the same girl since September.For the first 6 months I basically was so busy ...
  A: Troy, I think you've correctedly identified a rival and your jealous is well placed. The fact that ...
cheating6/12/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: I notice that some really ugly, fat, hideous women with horrible personalities end up getting all ...
  A: First, you exaggerate. She probably isn't really that ugly. Still, it was fun to read. Very ...
cheating6/12/2008Leslie Meredith
  Q: I notice that some really ugly, fat, hideous women with horrible personalities end up getting all ...
  A: Simi, It's not all about appearance, but I would anticipate most overweight and unattractive women ...
5 year relationship is all about "him"6/11/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: I have been in a five year live together relationship. To me its all about him. He never inquires ...
  A: Nice question. It's your wake up call. You have baggage that makes you tolerate and even cultivate ...
Dating-age difference6/9/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: I'm a 37 yr old female who's dating a 29 yr old male. We've shared a 3yr friendship ever since ...
  A: The age difference is unusual but a lot of times stuff like that really works well. I can tell you a ...
mroe than friends6/8/2008Leslie Meredith
  Q: i used to be realy good friends with this guy joel. him and i started being friends back in january ...
  A: Alana, You're just going to have to tell him you appreciate his friendship but that's it. I'd also ...
more than friends6/8/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: i used to be realy good friends with this guy joel. him and i started being friends back in january ...
  A: You can not make it your problem that he might go home and cry. I don't even think you can be ...
roommates6/6/2008Leslie Meredith
  Q: I'm 27 years old and I have 2 roommates, one is 22 and the other 24. Back in February they both ...
  A: Laurie, Eleven weeks under those circumstances sound like an eternity to me, at least the end is in ...
roommates6/6/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: I'm 27 years old and I have 2 roommates, one is 22 and the other 24. Back in February they both ...
  A: Good for you. You are a brave soul. I really respect your willingness to consider this. It is not a ...
dating6/6/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: I've noticed lately that the current dating scene for men and women is very sad and bleak. Take a ...
  A: This wasn't about dating. It was about television. It was a performance posing as reality. The kids ...
follow up6/1/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: ------------------------ I am a 26 year old woman. I like a guy who is 39 years old and he seems to ...
  A: Probably all of the above. I'd guess he was motivated by a bored, sexless marriage (and he's in part ...
follow up6/1/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: ------------------------ I am a 26 year old woman. I like a guy who is 39 years old and he seems to ...
  A: Oh Thank you so much for this follow up. So this is the real story on Mr "Lonely. Horny. Basically ...
dating in 20086/1/2008Terri Matheis
  Q: I have noticed lately that when I meet a man, I have to do all the work. Such as asking him for his ...
  A: My impression is that you are a very strong women who tends to take charge. Some men like that and ...
dating in 20086/1/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: I have noticed lately that when I meet a man, I have to do all the work. Such as asking him for his ...
  A: You didn't quite ask a question. As I read through your description I thought you were setting up a ...
dating in 20086/1/2008Valerie
  Q: I have noticed lately that when I meet a man, I have to do all the work. Such as asking him for his ...
  A: Carrie, You sort of answered your own question! But if you want my own opinion on this subject - ...
dating in 20086/1/2008Leslie Meredith
  Q: I have noticed lately that when I meet a man, I have to do all the work. Such as asking him for his ...
  A: Carrie, Sounds like you prefer a guy who knows what he wants and how to get it. And you're right, ...
Serious Boyfriend Doesn't Invite Me To Family Functions5/30/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: I am a 38 year old divorced lady and have been dating a 37 year old man long divorced man for 8 ...
  A: Nice work. One of the principles in my practice is that I want people to fully imagine at least ...
Serious Boyfriend Doesn't Invite Me To Family Functions5/28/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: I am a 38 year old divorced lady and have been dating a 37 year old man long divorced man for 8 ...
  A: This is an excellent question and a very good example of one of the most common challenges in ...
sex5/25/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: Sex is a primary, basic human instinct. Both men and women were designed with sexual desire at the ...
  A: Ana, my own sense of things is that women are strongly allowed to, and encouraged to, express their ...
dating5/25/2008Christopher Pinhey, PhD
  Q: Why is it that when a man puts his arms around a woman, it is the BEST feeling in the world? This ...
  A: Isn't it interesting that we so often find older men dating younger women rather than the other way ...
dating5/25/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: Why is it that when a man puts his arms around a woman, it is the BEST feeling in the world? This ...
  A: Sounds like you do like getting your hugs. And yes, it is pretty universal. You do have a ...
dating5/25/2008Terri Matheis
  Q: Why is it that when a man puts his arms around a woman, it is the BEST feeling in the world? This ...
  A: It sounds to me like he has not made any moves towards you which makes you think that he doesn't ...
dating5/25/2008Leslie Meredith
  Q: Why is it that when a man puts his arms around a woman, it is the BEST feeling in the world? This ...
  A: Jaci, Yes, being held by a man, particularly by one you like and trust, is comforting. An instant ...
dating5/25/2008Jeanne
  Q: Why is it that when a man puts his arms around a woman, it is the BEST feeling in the world? This ...
  A: Jaci - I can't answer your first question. You need to ask someone who is trained in ...
dating5/25/2008Valerie
  Q: Why is it that when a man puts his arms around a woman, it is the BEST feeling in the world? This ...
  A: Jaci, Although I usually answer questions from older women who are in the dating scene, I will try ...
Getting over divorce5/24/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: We are in our mid/late 40's. 22 months into our relationship (he left his wife for me), he has been ...
  A: You guys have my sympathies. I've worked with a lot of couples in your situation and the odds are ...
Dating5/20/2008Leslie Meredith
  Q: I have been on Eharmony since early Dec and have not had much luck until recently. I have ...
  A: Bob, Looks like you said too much and too soon. There is no need to reveal personal information ...
Unhealthy relationships5/16/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: Everyone is saying our relationship is very unhealthy because we have been together for 3 years and ...
  A: If you'd asked my mother (1917-2006) how things were going and they were going well she would say ...
living together5/11/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: Philip - This is a continuing saga that I have written to you about a couple times. Once again ...
  A: Maybe you are right about the separation anxiety,...not a bad theory...then send him a message, ...
What to do?5/11/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: I've been dating this gentleman for quite some time now. He seems really nice, sweet, kind, funny, ...
  A: I re-read my answer. I suggest leaving soon. Do people like that ever change? Not always. Often ...
What to do?5/11/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: I've been dating this gentleman for quite some time now. He seems really nice, sweet, kind, funny, ...
  A: We can only guess here but guess we will. He sounds both old fashioned and also low functioning. ...

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Leslie MeredithAzurePhilip Belove, Ed.D.
Terri MatheisJeanneValerie
   

     
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