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Dating at Midlife/Questions
| Subject | Date Asked | Expert |
| dating in midlife | 2/5/2012 | Lauren Kaufman |
| Q: I am 49 y.o, divorced, living with 54 y.o male who has been separated for a bit more then 3 years. ... A: Your letter states that he is very very sincere about NOT GETTING MARRIED. This must be taken at ... | ||
| dating in midlife | 2/5/2012 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: I've just read your article Dating in Midlife. I'm browsing the web to find some answers helping me ... A: This is a very difficult moment for you. You are asking yourself some difficult questions You are ... | ||
| Embarrassing parents! | 2/4/2012 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: When I'm at home with my parents, they act nice and normal. However, when I take my parents to any ... A: It won't change. YOu can mention it to your boyfriend. He can mention it to his family. You can all ... | ||
| Embarrassing parents! | 2/4/2012 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: When I'm at home with my parents, they act nice and normal. However, when I take my parents to any ... A: First of all, don't expect them to change. You'll have to find some way of forgiving them for ... | ||
| Marriage & Dating 2012 | 2/4/2012 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: Belove, How has marriage changed since the days you were a kid? How do you feel marriage in 2012 is ... A: In the 70's with feminism's second (or third) wave, "no fault" divorce was instituted and you no ... | ||
| Doctor crossing the line | 2/2/2012 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: I am so confused about my feeling for my doctor i was diagnoied with a life threating illness in ... A: Well, he has indeed crossed the line. He might not know it. Tell him that you find some of his ... | ||
| My man's ex | 1/30/2012 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: My 61 year old boyfriend of 4 years just informed me, during a fight, that his ex is nicer than me ... A: You might be right. Again, I don't have enough to know. It' like this other woman is his private ... | ||
| Women's sexuality, violence, and control | 1/29/2012 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: Why is it, that throughout the world, women's sexuality is always tried to be controlled? Women are ... A: See Sex at Dawn by Chris Ryan He says that the invention of agriculture meant the invention of ... | ||
| Women's sexuality, violence, and control | 1/29/2012 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: Why is it, that throughout the world, women's sexuality is always tried to be controlled? Women are ... A: Lots of very smart and wise folks have explored this question. The answers I've seen that I liked ... | ||
| My man's ex | 1/29/2012 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: My 61 year old boyfriend of 4 years just informed me, during a fight, that his ex is nicer than me ... A: The story gets more and more strange. And dark. The amount of hatred sloshing around in this story ... | ||
| Couples Relationship Advice: Fair Fighting Rules | 1/28/2012 | April Braswell - Dating Expert |
| Q: "Hi Dr, My 61 year old boyfriend of 4 years just informed me, during a fight, that his ex is nicer ... A: Oh how awful that your 61 year old boyfriend behaved so badly as to stoop to bringing in comparisons ... | ||
| My man's ex | 1/28/2012 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: My 61 year old boyfriend of 4 years just informed me, during a fight, that his ex is nicer than me ... A: Your information seems a bit incoherent, which is understandable, given what I can gather from your ... | ||
| Hungarian arranged marriage | 1/25/2012 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: I have a best friend who is 35 and never married. I am 34. She has had several long term loving ... A: Well, first of all, I reserve my agreement with you on your claim that she "doesn't have any social ... | ||
| Is there anything wrong with being a cougar for life? | 1/24/2012 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: my name is Suzanne and this is my question. Is there anything wrong with being a cougar for life? In ... A: Well, that's a question I don't get every day. You know you're going against the dominant myth of ... | ||
| successful women and great love | 1/23/2012 | Jeanne |
| Q: im told by successful women i should be the provider of everything even though they have as much ... A: Yes, it does exist. Any reasonable woman would realize that both income and performing household ... | ||
| Is he interested? | 1/21/2012 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: I went on a date with a trauma surgeon. He's a busy guy with crazy working hours obviously. I'm a ... A: I'm sorry to say this but I think you've asked the wrongIs he interested? The question you should be ... | ||
| Kissing Cousins | 1/19/2012 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: Belove, In the course of my 2 year relationship with my 64 year old boyfriend I have asked only 3 ... A: The open relationship stuff is an important piece of the puzzle. There is a book out that argues ... | ||
| Kissing Cousins | 1/19/2012 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: Belove, In the course of my 2 year relationship with my 64 year old boyfriend I have asked only 3 ... A: Sorry to hear all that. I think you guys are on the edge of a major crisis. It's unfortunate ... | ||
| Kissing Cousins | 1/18/2012 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: Belove, In the course of my 2 year relationship with my 64 year old boyfriend I have asked only 3 ... A: Beth, this is very tricky. You are asking me take your side in this issue and I've not heard from ... | ||
| Men being sour? | 1/10/2012 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: I've joined a dating site and go on about 5 dates a month. So after 6 months I've dated about 30 ... A: Too weird. Maybe you should look at a different dating site. Maybe you should find another way to ... | ||
| marrying someone from another country? | 1/8/2012 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: I have a Polish friend that I've grown up with in NYC. She is marrying a guy from Poland that she ... A: Cross cultural marriages and fusion kids are pretty normal these days. Lots of folks enjoy that ... | ||
| marrying someone from another country? | 1/8/2012 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: I have a Polish friend that I've grown up with in NYC. She is marrying a guy from Poland that she ... A: They seem to have enough to make a good start. What happens 5 - 10 years depends on how they ... | ||
| Divorced Men & Feelings | 1/1/2012 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: I had been dating a divorced man with 2 teenage kids for 1 while, casually. His children are ... A: The best thing you can do is convince him to find a professional with whom he can have that ... | ||
| What does he want? | 12/30/2011 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: I’m 52 and have been working partners (different companies but still see each other oftent his ... A: I apologize for the delay in responding. Thanks for the addition to HALT. I don't know where to ... | ||
| ayuda | 12/29/2011 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: my really good friend: you know I had 3 sexual intercourse with a black lady and got separated from ... A: Aurax! You haven't faced up to something and your psychiatrist isn't yet getting you to it. ... | ||
| What does he want? | 12/29/2011 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: I’m 52 and have been working partners (different companies but still see each other oftent his ... A: Well, think of it as an attempt to create something you've never before imagined, and not something ... | ||
| Meeting with old flame | 12/28/2011 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: I was recently contacted by my high school sweatheart, who is single again (wife died 6 months ago). ... A: You have my sympathies. Where to begin? Well, your weight is an issue for you. It just is. So ... | ||
| What does he want? | 12/28/2011 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: I’m 52 and have been working partners (different companies but still see each other oftent his ... A: You can't know what's up with him because he doesn't know what's up with him. It happens a lot ... | ||
| Arranged Marriage in 2012 | 12/22/2011 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: What are your feelings about arranged marriage? Please explain the positive things of this ... A: I don't have a general, or ideological position. I don't know which has the better record. For ... | ||
| Arranged Marriage in 2012 | 12/22/2011 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: What are your feelings about arranged marriage? Please explain the positive things of this ... A: I believe we've corresponded before. Interesting question. First, the positive things as you've ... | ||
| Intimacy issues with my man. | 12/21/2011 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: I am a 43 year old female who has been dating a 37 year old man for the past 6 months. To make a ... A: Well there might be some cultural issues here, but none the less, the sooner you address it the ... | ||
| flirting | 12/20/2011 | April Braswell - Dating Expert |
| Q: ive been told by afriend that she met and is flirting with alover online , other women say bars are ... A: I do not have scientific studies data to substantiate this. I am know social and mate selection ... | ||
| Keeping it 'just friends' | 12/20/2011 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: I've decided to give casual dating a try and not invest my heart in any one relationship like I've ... A: The guy with zero-chemistry. You owe him a clear message that the relationship will not go anywhere. ... | ||
| Dealing w ex's requests on boyfriend | 12/14/2011 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: Dr. Belove, I read your answer to a question from someone about putting up christmas lights for an ... A: Sounds like one of those conversations where a lot gets put on the table but at the same time, ... | ||
| WILL SHE GO AWAY | 12/5/2011 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: I live 4 hours from my boyfriend, Mike. He is 60 and I am 56. He will retire in June 2013. The ... A: Should you wait? Is he worth this wait? Only you can answer that. It's quite a challenge. Mike ... | ||
| WILL SHE EVER GO AWAY? | 12/5/2011 | Lee Block |
| Q: I live 4 hours from my boyfriend, Mike. He is 60 and I am 56. He will retire in June 2013. The ... A: My first question would by WHY do you feel you need to be in a relationship with anyone? Then I ... | ||
| ayuda | 11/30/2011 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: 7 years ago I had a relationship with a goldigger, then I was 41 and she 35 once I discovered she ... A: You can get hooked by a relationship. Often it includes great sex, but there's much, much more. ... | ||
| ayuda | 11/30/2011 | Lauren Kaufman |
| Q: 7 years ago I had a relationship with a goldigger, then I was 41 and she 35 once I discovered she ... A: You seem to have difficulty in finding good relationships and the reason could be, is that you don't ... | ||
| Ex's and Christmas Lights | 11/28/2011 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: I just read your answer to a woman's question about whether she was wrong in feeling that she didn't ... A: A true ex-wife from hell story. My sympathies. I don't remember what I might have told the other ... | ||
| Why can't I get over this? | 11/18/2011 | Philip Belove, Ed.D. |
| Q: I am a twice married 40 something female. The breakup of my first marriage was my fault. The second ... A: I'd have to talk to you more to tell you more. It does sound like you are having difficulty ... | ||
Dating at Midlife
Answers by Expert:
Philip Belove, Ed.D.
Top Expert on this page
Expertise
Hi. I`m Philip Belove (that is my name, really). I`m 68 and I`ve been a psychologist all my midlife, the past 25 years. My specialty has been counseling and coaching other midlife adults. I think we all figure things out as we go along, but even more so at midlife. Being between 40-ish and 60-ish and single is like being a stranger in a strange land. I`ve learned which questions help people find their own way. I created this category, I publish a dating at midlife newsletter and I write articles for various web sites. My commitment is to help people 1) understand and improve how they deal with others, 2) understand the forces that rule the relationships they are in, and 3) make the decisions which will shape, or create, or end those relationships so they achieve the goal of midlife development to finally live with personal satisfaction. I`ve been divorced twice myself. I`m in a satisfying relationship with a fine person. I`m very interested in learning about your challenges and in offering what I can. Check out more articles at www.drbelove.com
Experience
Professionally: Licensed Psychologist. Marriage and Family Therapist. Coach.Author. University Lecturer. Personally: I'm 67. I've probably made all the big mistakes, er, learned the big lessons.I've forgiven myself and made many apologies and I've made it into a good, stable, sweet relationship.
Education/Credentials
Masters in Counseling Psychology, Alfred Adler Institute
Doctorate in Consulting Psychology, focus on family therapy, University of Massachusetts at Amherst
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