Dating at Midlife/Did he love me ?


1 month ago,my boyfriend broke up with me .... the day before he broke up with me,we had sex.. the day after he was like you lie too much,i cant be with a liar.. are those excuses to brake up with me ? did he play with me ?

Yes he played with you.
You've written so little it's hard to tell the deeper story.
Apparently he very much likes sex with you while at the same time
he says he doesn't trust you.
Maybe that's a true reason, maybe not.  Maybe he's the liar.  
Lying and not trusting are reasons to break up with someone. If those are the real reasons.

You want to say , it seems, that his timing was bad or dishonest.

You might be right.

It's hard to know, it's hard for anyone to know when to announce a break up.

Did it come out of nowhere?  Were you totally surprised?

Had you lied to him?

Those are important questions to answer as you try to decide what you need to learn from what happened.

Feel free to follow up

Philip Alan Belove, E.D  

Dating at Midlife

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Philip Belove, Ed.D.


Hi. I`m Philip Belove (that is my name, really). I`m 71 and I`ve been a psychologist all my midlife, the past 35 years. My specialty has been counseling and coaching other midlife adults.  I think we all figure things out as we go along, but even more so at midlife. Being between 40-ish and 60-ish and single is like being a stranger in a strange land. I`ve learned which questions help people find their own way. I created this category, I publish a blog at and I write articles for various web sites. My commitment is to help people 1) understand and improve how they deal with others, 2) understand the forces that rule the relationships they are in, and 3) make the decisions which will shape, or create, or end those relationships  so they achieve the goal of midlife development  to finally live with personal satisfaction. I`ve been divorced twice myself. I`m in a satisfying relationship with a fine person. I`m very interested in learning about your challenges and in offering what I can.


Professionally: Licensed Psychologist. Marriage and Family Therapist. Coach.Author. University Lecturer. Personally: I'm 71. I've probably made all the big mistakes, er, learned the big lessons.I've forgiven myself and made many apologies and I've made it into a good, stable, sweet relationship. I now have a perspective on midlife.

Please check out my book, Rabbis in Love, at Also my blog at The Rabbi book was done as part of a research project. My collaborator, Marilyn Bronstein, and I wanted to interview couples with very successful marriage and also we wanted to talk to people who cared as much about their spirituality as love. Maybe being able to love and be spiritual were one and same, we thought. So we found a rabbi couple and the interview was so astounding that we interviewed nine more rabbi couples. One dropped. They'd revealed too much. It's a fascinating book and, Jewish or not, religious or not, these couples do a lot of things right and there is a lot to learn from them.

Masters in Counseling Psychology, Alfred Adler Institute Doctorate in Consulting Psychology, focus on family therapy, University of Massachusetts at Amherst

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